Eating dust at the back of the racing pack while waiting to see What you need is the competitive edge that only an eye-searingly loud custom decal can provide. We risk blindness to bring you these…
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First things first: please don’t write in and say that those are actually leopard or ocelot markings. Firstly, this isn’t Stupid Spotty Cats: The Official Magazine, and secondly, we’ve burned our retinas clean off in the process of putting this piece together, so we wouldn’t be able to read them. Though remember: in Forza, as in real life, cheetahs never prosper.
Approximately one out of every three custom paint jobs on the Forza servers is My Little Pony-themed, which is testament to the deep subtext of Hasbro’s TV series.
Those ink-black eyes. The haunting gaze. The way the room chills when she nears. Hello Kitty moves slowly, but you can never shake her off. One touch from her paw, and it’s curtains.
Intimidate the opposition by carrying the visage of Candyman-era Christina Aguilera on your ‘ride’. In this car you’ll *Googles her discography for pun inspiration* er, feel Dirrty?
Food is a recurring theme, and why not? Who doesn’t like food? Jerks, that’s who. Cap’n Crunch is a sugary cereal from the US. Speaking for us Brits, we’d prefer an Alpen car.
Hammy the Hamster died doing what she loved: chewing through an electrical cable. Avenge her death by shunting the opposition sideways into a barn.
Whoever put together this ‘effort’ obviously really likes Duracell batteries. We’re bigger fans of the cheapo Kodak megapacks you can get in Poundland, ourselves.
How would you like this beast sidling up next to you at a car meet? The scene might seem jovial, but that Donald is ready to kick off at a minute’s notice. Tread lightly, racers.
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