Somewhere in the world, there's a 14-year-old in an interminable high school history class who, just to stay awake, is probably imagining a scenario that looks a lot like Bladestorm: Nightmare. The Hundred Years' War is one of the longest and most pointless conflicts in human history, memorable primarily for Joan of Arc's involvement and as the basis for hundreds of years of Brits and the French throwing shade at each other, with decades upon decades of grousing about kings and succession happening in between. Surely, such a memory can only be improved by imagining the war being fought by anime-haired mercenaries commanding legions of sellswords to slay massive armored knights, vicious dragons, and snarling armies of demons, right?

On paper, that's a yes, and I wish the folks at Tecmo Koei were capable of doing it justice. Instead, Bladestorm's pretension of being a massive scale real-time strategy game with action elements turns out to be little more than a European coat of paint slathered over the tired Musou formula, with the RTS elements working to its detriment instead of providing much needed fun and depth. At least the game gives you a lot to work with. Bladestorm Nightmare is a remaster and a sequel all in one. The original game, released in 2007, is included here with a few new features to bring it up to par with the new scenario, Nightmare, which totals out to anywhere from 25 to 30 hours of gameplay, all told. If nothing else, it at least succeeds in keeping you busy.

Staying busy in the Hundred Years' War scenario involves making a mercenary in the game's fairly deep character creator to lead specialized troops--swords, spears, archers, and the like--into the fray of the ongoing war between the British and the French. Just as in the RTS, rather than doing anything interesting with France's beloved Maid selling her soul to stop a war.

Bladestorm: Nightmare is a game trapped in 2007, awkwardly fumbling for a way to push a tried and true formula forward. The ideas are appreciable, but not nearly enough of the required effort has been put in to make this game great or even challenging. Somewhere, a history student is daydreaming of a Hundred Years War full of magic, danger, wild-haired mercenaries, and insane alternate histories in which Joan of Arc becomes witch mistress of Europe. Whatever that kid has in mind, it is certain to be more ambitious than what Bladestorm: Nightmare can provide.