No sooner is the retrospective Halo: The Master Chief Collection out than the future of the series is upon us. The multiplayer beta for Halo 5: Guardians has arrived: swifter, bolder, Kevlar-ier. We're lucky enough to have early access - the public version launches on the 29th - but if you don't want to wait we have all the details for you in our beta diary: new modes, new maps, new, radically different Spartan abilities and gameplay mechanics. Think of it like a belated Advent calendar, but behind every door is searing hot death by plasma grenade.

Beyond those (extensive) details, you'll find everything we know about Halo 5 overall, so carry on through, and keep checking back at this article in the months to come. We'll be updating it each and every time new Halo 5 info lands, so consider it your one-stop shop for all of your Chiefly needs.

We could talk about how the lofty intro screen recalls that operatic opening score of Halo: Combat Evolved, but that would be using-the-Covenant Carbine crazy. Let’s get straight to the gunnery. The first map we’re thrown into is Empire: an industrial tumble of platforms, vantage points and corridors. Aside from the pre-match scan of the area, there’s no time to stop and admire your surroundings.

It’s a wonderful kind of chaos, but still utterly familiar to anyone who’s played the series; bristling with fresh ideas, all promising Halo’s familiar game of rocket, paper, scissors. We’ll explore the new abilities in a bit, but right now you need to know that it immediately feels natural. As soon we discovered how the buttons have shifted - a rite of passage necessary in every new Halo - we were boosting away from grenades and scoping the map for ledges to pull off the brand-new power slam: the single most satisfying addition to the series since the whumping rocket launcher melee attack.

As different as this feels, the first match goes surprisingly well. Our attempts to ground-pound are laughably inept, but this is as it should be: it's a one-hit instakill, so it needs to be difficult. We're starting off with the Assault Rifle - which feels tighter and more lethal than ever before - and the Magnum. Blasto, God of Guns, bless the Magnum. All the shooters now have ADS (no, we're not calling it Smart Scope) but zooming with ol' Maggsy still feels sharp, poppy and delicious.

It's harder to nail those headshots, though. Enemies are faster and more mobile, so your best bet is to pick people off as they slow down to clamber over scenery. That said, there are already people doing sickeningly talented things with the Sniper Rifle - the standard power weapon on Empire. The pace of Halo 5 means that bedding down and waiting for Spartan heads to peek out is less of an option, but in the right hands it's monstrous.

The next stage we try is Truth - a remake of Midship from Halo 2. It's the same familiar doughnut of doom, but infinite sprinting alters everything. Instead of bloody bottlenecks peppered with plasma grenades, it's a frantic chase. It's harder than ever to hold an area, because you're effortlessly outflanked, thanks to Truth's warren of tunnels and back doors. Thankfully, anyone foolishly using the grav-lifts is still meat for the beast: a pleasingly recognisable throwback.

The power weapon here is the Prophets' Bane: apparently the Arbiter’s personal energy sword. All we know is that it’s too bloody bright. Seriously, it’s like carrying around the severed head of a celestial being. And, as anyone who's ever carried an incandescent glowing pate will know, this massively impairs your vision. We got around this by sprinting around in an endless loop of sword-swinging murder, taking full advantage of our now-endless stamina. It works both ways: the boost ability can keep you out of lunging range so you can chip away from afar. Ah, that magnificent Halo balance. Lovely.

There’s constant patter throughout each match, as the Spartans react to everything with in-game chit-chat. That may sound annoying, but it’s not. Instead, it’s a great way of keeping a handle on what’s happening, especially if you’re with a tight-lipped team. As well as practical stuff, such as calling out enemy positions, it adds a bit of colour when you save a teammate from nearly-death.

Some folk will find the whooping, bro-fisting camaraderie distasteful. It’s admittedly very different from the gruff stoicism of John-117, but it matches the new environment. It will never replace organised teamwork with actual human voices, but it removes the need for expositional busywork.

Areas on the maps have their own names, much like the rejigged maps from the Master Chief Collection. Again, it’s a purist’s nightmare, but there’s a practical purpose for it. At the risk of sounding like the curmudgeonly videogame relics we are (“get off my 16-bit lawn!”, etc), we had names for every location in Halo 3. Names which often made no sense, and were utterly impenetrable to outsiders; often a combination of colours, locations and varieties of cheese. No, really.

That isn’t a problem now. If there’s guy with rockets hiding in one of Halo’s inevitable blind spots, you’ll be able to effortlessly inform your teammates where he is. The flow of information is a little overwhelming at first - especially when combined with the aforementioned war-chuntering - but the pace of the game makes it essential. After a few months of this, Old Halo is likely to feel very sparse indeed.

The swiftness significantly alters the team game. Staying together is tougher unless you communicate. Aside from limited use of the jetpack, going up in Halo was previously a mix of grav lifts and cunning jumps. There’s now a real verticality to the game - press release guffspeak for your ability to climb stuff - so teams can quickly get split up. It’s also harder to hold a defensive position, but there are rich opportunities for deception and subterfuge. We were repeatedly awarded the patronising, well-done-for-trying ‘Distraction’ medal, carried over from Halo 4: we’d love to say it was intentional, but that would be a massive un-fact.

The early access period is over now, and the beta will resume on 29 December. It says loads that those few days seem like an agonising wait - much like being apart from a new lover, albeit one who’s seven feet tall and can punch trucks. For the first time in recent years, it feels like there’s much more to learn about a Halo game; that fact alone is an exciting prospect.

No sooner is the retrospective Halo: The Master Chief Collection out than the future of the series is upon us. The multiplayer beta for Halo 5: Guardians is set to land in December, and if you own the MCC, you can get access to it. That's exciting. But you know what's even more exciting? We've already played it, and can tell you exactly what you can be expecting when you enter the new world of Xbox One Spartan shooting. New modes, new maps, new, radically different Spartan abilities and gameplay mechanics... It's all here, so click on and get prepped.

Beyond those (extensive) details, you'll find everything we know about Halo 5 overall, so carry on through, and keep checking back at this article in the months to come. We'll be updating it each and every time new Halo 5 info lands, so consider it your one-stop shop for all of your Chiefly needs.

The newest Halo on Xbox One finally has a name. Halo 5: Guardians will be the next chapter in the hallowed saga of Master Chief, as announced this morning by 343 Industries. And though nothing has been shown of the actual gameplay just yet, we've got a slew of new information about the next leap forward for the Halo franchise, which is coming in 2015--though you'll get a taste of it in beta form by the end of the year .

Of course, this windfall of new details raises a ton of questions we have that, for now, remain unanswered. Looking to brush up on everything Halo 5-related? Here's everything we know, and some crucial things we don't.

Not only does that mean that you have three full weeks of Halo 5 early access multiplayer ahead, it means that you have it coming pretty damn soon, and over the Christmas holidays. It’s almost like they planned it that way.

Between today’s release of The Master Chief Collection, and the Halo 5 beta starting in December, not only does that make for a very Halo Christmas indeed, but it means that for a short period, you’ll actually (sort of) have access to the complete, numbered series, including the one that isn’t out yet, all at the same time.

343 is picking up Bungie’s community-focused lead with the Halo 5 beta, and making it an interactive experience for the majority of its running time. While the first week, from December the 29th to January the 5th, will introduce you to the new game modes and gameplay systems, weeks two and three will be thrown out to a player vote.

The shape of the beta, the modes, maps and Lord knows what else, will all be at the behest of the players. And speaking of those new gameplay systems and modes…

Literally the first thing you’ll notice about Halo 5 multiplayer is the match intros. In Slayer and Team Slayer at least, each map is now introduced with a multi-angled camera fly-by showcasing the key areas of the arena. Holding points and key skirmish areas are all shown off, but perhaps even more crucial is the tweak to the way power-weapon drops are highlighted.

So far, Halo 5 seems to be going back to the earlier games’ method of depositing map-specific power-weapons after a designated period of time, unlike Halo 4’s approach of using more randomised Ordinance Drops. Not only are power-weapon locations shown off before the match, but in-game they have a drop-timer visibly attached, which turns into an on-screen navigation blip once they land. The race for the big guns just got a bit more accessible, and probably a whole lot more frantic.

Here’s where the big changes start. Halo 5’s multiplayer picks up where Halo 4’s left off, by way of an increased focus on speed and aggression. But where the previous game’s augmented Spartan abilities were a case of choosing from an unlockable bank, Halo 5 gives everyone a full roster of brand new tools to use straight out of the box.

Everyone now has unlimited sprint, but it comes with a price. Your shield won’t recharge until you stop running, meaning that there are serious tactical decisions to be made when under fire. Tied to sprinting, all Spartans can now slide, by hitting duck while moving apace. That’s great for evading fire, but also a really powerful tool when it comes to getting into cover quickly. It’s vital in the new Breakout mode we’ve played, but more on that in a little bit. You can now mantle up onto otherwise unreachable platforms, opening up the scope for much taller maps, as well as hidden routes and alternative paths.

And there’s more. Four additional default Spartan abilities make full use of your Mjolnir armour’s jets. Tapping B with any directional input now activates a rapid side-dodge, Titanfall-style, to weave around incoming fire and set up fast, close-range flanking. Jump into the air and scope your gun - every weapon now has ADS - and you’ll hover briefly in mid-air, before floating down slowly. Great for getting the jump on unwary targets, but be wary of how exposed you’ll be left in heavy fire areas.

Even more extravagantly, you now have two separate, powered-up melee attacks, capable of scoring an instant kill in the right circumstances. Get up to full speed and hit the melee button, and you’ll use a rocket-powered dash-punch to clobber the merry hell out of anyone in front of you. Get high into the air and hold crouch, and you’ll activate a ground-based reticule with which to aim a devastating ground-pound. Charge ii for a second or two, and boom. Two-dimensional Spartan all over your boots. But while both attacks are undeniably meaty, in practice, so far at least, they don’t feel overpowered. The dash requires a bit of built-up speed to activate reliably, and the pound, just like the airborne ADS, leaves the attacker horribly exposed while winding up.

The trusty old BR has been an iconic Halo staple since the second game. It has though, gone through a few subtle tweaks and iterations over the years. How does Halo 5’s version stack up to its illustrious ancestors? Based on our experience so far, it feels like a monster.

Put it this way: For the first few blasts, we thought that 343 had reduced its burst fire to a single shot. Not so. It turns out that the traditional three-shot spray is now so fast that we’d mistaken it for only one round during the early, bamboozling festival of carnage. It’s too early to analyse the minutiae of fire delay, accuracy and stopping power, but both for the latter categories, we’d be tempted to venture ‘a lot’. Once we found its spawn spots on Halo 5’s maps (which seem to be locked in and consistent), it rapidly became our default weapon of choice. A total death-finger.

One of the fanbase’s biggest problem s with Halo 4’s changes to multiplayer was the lack of descoping. That is to say, the process of knocking out an enemy player’s zoomed view by shooting them while being targeted. There’s a strong argument for the mechanic’s importance. Without it, longer-range weapons such as the BR and sniper rifle become overpowered, and on certain maps the joy of Halo’s close-range, cat-and-mouse game dissolves.

Well descoping is back in Halo 5. It’s back, and it works. That’s about all there is to say at the moment. But, er, hey, good news, right?

The Halo 5 beta introduces a campaign-style chatter function for multiplayer, which gives you real-time updates on the battle directly from the Spartans involved, independent of the words of your living, breathing teammates. While that sounds annoying at first blush, the simulated team-talk is actually sparse enough that there's never an issue. It's also extremely helpful, giving you meaningful feedback so you can quickly figure out how to tackle tense situations. It's great at letting you know that the enemy is flanking you or that a grenade is sailing towards your head, and does so well before most human companions would even notice.

This feature helps to organize what can become a very chaotic combat scenario, but the new squad chatter should also be a great boon to the solo multiplayer challenger. Playing MP without friends always puts you at a disadvantage due to the lack of helpful team communication, but with the game now simulating that stuff, the experience should be a whole lot smoother.

There’s at least one new game mode in Halo 5’s multiplayer. We know because we’ve played it. It’s called Breakout, and it’s very much a more demanding evolution of the old SWAT mode. It’s also bloody brilliant. Two 4v4 squads fight on small, tight maps, built around focused sight-lines and sharp requirement on the use of cover. Overall wins are based on a best-of-multiple-rounds system, but there are no lives. Once you go down, you’re out until the next go-around.

That little tweak leads to some of the most intense, satisfying, and air-punchingly heroic Halo we’ve ever played, not to mention some of the most authentically strategic. Within seconds we were playing proper, old-school, tactical Halo, giving map locations nicknames, speaking in garbled, pseudo-military shorthand, communicating every move, and using the post-death spectator-cam to both guide our surviving players with strategic info and whoop like drunken sports crowds when our last man snatched a killer, underdog victory. A round can last seconds, or a final stand-off can run for agonising, nerve-shredding, blissfully tense minutes. But however it goes, Breakout is consistently a big damn hoot.

Halo 5’s XP system will be active in the beta. It’s not yet clear if progress will follow through into Halo 5 proper (our guess would be ‘no’), but some of the bonuses accrued through it will.

We know at least that there will be beta-exclusive armour sets to be had. Other stuff? At a guess, we’d say beta emblems will probably turn up too, at the very least. But either way, this is going to be the place to get all the Halo hipster equipment you need in order to be authentically elite and ‘in it before it was big’ come the game’s 2015 launch.

We’ve played three of the seven beta maps so far. All are good for different modes, and all are very different. Truth is a remake of Halo 2’s Midship, a small, two-levelled circular arena with a central raised platform and snaking, twisting paths around the outside. It’s great for free-for-all Slayer, though we’d prefer to give it a go with a shorter-range, custom weapon-set than that available at our preview day, to reduce the random factor and keep things a bit tighter.

Empire is a new map, set in a large warehouse/industrial complex, with a wide, open-air balcony at one end. Largely flat and open in the middle, with a plethora of small cover opportunities, its raised peripheral areas and small, overlooking rooms make it a great choice for medium-range Team Slayer, providing ample opportunities for open firefights and close-defensive play. And finally, there’s Crossfire, used for playing Breakout. Very different in terms of its bold, primary-coloured, geometric stylings, it’s nevertheless a classic slice of strategically-minded, asymmetric design. The archetypal Halo ‘little room’ on one side provides a fantastic choke point and opportunity for base-defence. The box-littered middle section is a minefield of ultra-tight skirmish opportunities, while the raised platforms and opposite-side bridge mix up the verticality for risk-and-reward vantage points and ground-pounds aplenty.

And now, moving onto Halo 5 in general...

You might already have figured this out, but 343 Industries, the Microsoft-owned studio behind Halo: CE Anniversary and Halo 4, is continuing to develop for the franchise with Halo 5: Guardians. With two blockbuster entries in the series under its belt, it's safe to assume that the developers at 343 know what they're doing.

It also helps to have shaped the previous entry in the franchise, which put much more emphasis on building Master Chief as a relatable character. This came to a head in the ending of Halo 4--and Halo 5: Guardians will be about Master Chief getting through his identity crisis. "He's questioning everything: His past, his purpose, what's he fighting for, why he's fighting," says 343 studio head Bonnie Ross. "This is about [Master Chief's] journey. It's about his past, and about his future".

In Halo 5's single piece of key art (or "visual IP," as 343 called it), an unfamiliar soldier was standing proudly behind the Halo 5: Guardians logo. At first, we thought that the silhouette and proportions of this Spartan looked distinctly female. Some thought it was Cortana or Sarah Palmer, but according to a by Josh Holmes, Executive Producer on Halo, that's not the case. "For everyone speculating about the mysterious Spartan in Halo 5: Guardians, he’s not Palmer (or Cortana!). He’s a NEW character. :)"

We now know that the new character is Naval Intelligence agent Jameson Locke, star of the upcoming Halo: Nightfall live-action series. He gets an in-game introduction in The Master Chief Collection's Halo 2: Anniversary, via a new opening cutscene which depicts him talking to The Arbiter years after the events of the second game. For some reason, he's hunting down the Chief. Whether as a target or as a potential ally remains to be seen.

As one of Microsoft's biggest exclusives, a new Halo game presents a huge opportunity to showcase everything that the Xbox One hardware is really capable of. To facilitate that, 343 has built an entirely new engine for Halo 5: Guardians. Graphics, audio, rendering, you name it--it's all being redone to make the most of the Xbox One architecture.

"It's not necessarily about layering on content--it's about actually changing the ecosystem that the Xbox is part of," said 343's Frank O'Connor. With its new engine, Halo 5: Guardians has been built to utilize Microsoft's latest tech in methods that could pave the way for other developers. In O'Connor's words, "Even if you never buy a Halo game on Xbox One, you're going to benefit from some of the things that we're putting on that technology."

It's one thing to say you're going to be building a next-gen engine, but it's another thing entirely to show it, and 343 hasn't done that yet. And, honestly, we haven't the slightest idea of how good it'll look, at least in terns of fidelity. We can make a decent stab at what it'll look like in terms of art design--Halo 4 was a slightly more stylized take on the shooter, and we'd expect Halo 5: Guardians to continue in that direction--but style is only part of the formula.

It's easy to assume it'll just be a fancier-looking version of Halo 4 with more particles. But there hasn't yet been an FPS built specifically to take advantage of the Xbox One's power on a new, next-gen engine, so it might end up surprising us. Just picture Ryse: Son of Rome's graphical fidelity, except with Chief blasting Prometheans with plasma rifles.

Bungie and 343 have gotten pretty creative with their wave-based modes in recent years. Halo 3: ODST and Halo: Reach both included the inventive Firefight, which did a great job of providing randomized, repeatable encounters you could play with friends. Halo 4's Spartan Ops continued that trend by adding a story and regular updates. But there hasn't been a peep as to whether or not these modes will continue in Halo 5.

If we had to guess (and, let's face it, we do), we'd say that some version of Spartan Ops will be included. The mode was a huge success before, and it'd be easy to tie it into whatever other media plans Microsoft has for the Halo franchise. Imagine if the weekly Halo video series comes with weekly missions that weave into the story--how cool would that be?

E3 brought news of , a set of games that includes Halo 1, 2, 3, 4, all playable on the Xbox One. But Microsoft also made it clear that the game will be a stepping stone into the future of Halo. Not only will the classic games tie-in to Nightfall, the original TV series hosted on Xbox One, but the November game will be followed up with the Halo 5: Guardians beta.

This continues the tradition of Microsoft attaching Halo betas to its major releases, though this time it's directly tied to another Halo game. So, if over 100 classic Halo multiplayer maps isn't enough for you, by the end of the year you'll be testing out the first maps for the first truly next-gen Halo adventure.

Note that we said "Master Chief's story." No mention of the Covenant. Because we reckon that's done. In many respects--art style, characterization and narrative in particular--Halo 4 was a transitional game; a safe, intermediary work intended to move the series on from the original trilogy and towards the real start of 343' Halo. By the end of the game the Covenant stragglers are dealt with, the immediate threat is subdued, and Master Chief is back home on Earth, ready for his next deployment. Everything is rebooted to a relative status quo, and thus, Halo 5 is free to do its own thing.

So don't expect Halo 5 to be just another continuation of the 6-games-long story so far. Expect the core Halo shooting to be wrapped up in a new narrative direction, with a new setting and a new tone. The focus on desert environments in the released promotional assets so far--rather than the usual verdant countryside and high-tech facilities--certainly implies a major geographical shift. Don't be at all surprised to see that affect the over-arching game design as well.

Remember the one from last year? A hooded figure walks through the desert and is attacked by a giant robot. A gust of wind catches the hood and reveals that the mysterious character is Master Chief, with a broken visor and a ratty robe. What led up to that event? Is he wearing anything under the robe? How did his visor break? Like, seriously, how did it break--the guy has fallen from space without taking much damage; it'd take a pretty mean hit to crack that glass.

There's a chance that, like some other Halo teasers in the past, the video was more of an acknowledgement that more Halo is coming, rather than a specific reference to an actual part of the next Halo game. Microsoft Game Studios VP Phil Spencer once called the video "a thought piece by the studio," so we'll likely have to wait a while before we know if any of that concept ends up becoming a reality.

When the new Halo was teased at E3 2013, the announced release date for Master Chief's next epic undertaking was 2014. Plans change--and with them, release dates. Halo 5: Guardians is slated for a Fall 2015 release on Xbox One.

Don't get too upset: History has shown that each of the main entries in the Halo franchise took three years to develop, so it only makes sense that Halo 5 would get the same time in the oven after 2012's Halo 4. Plus, you'd rather have a polished final product than something that got rushed out the door to hit an arbitrary release date, wouldn't you?

Halo 5's 2015 release date aligns with the debut of the Halo TV show, which famously involves one . But at the moment, it's unclear if the show and the new game will share any connection beyond occupying the same sci-fi universe.

Getting gamers to care about the interaction between a big-budget release and a TV show has historically been a tough sell (see: Defiance), so perhaps 343 will opt to keep the two mediums separate. The show is still in pre-production stages, so we're bound to find out more as it starts to take shape and fuel the Halo hype machine.

We expect that it won't be too long until more campaign information is revealed. Odds are that within a month or two we'll know some of the details surrounding the story, the characters, and more. Either way, keep your eyes peeled, and check back on this page to get the most up-to-date info on Halo 5 available.

Interested in reading more top-quality internet? Want to keep things on a Halo thread? Check our our .

Sleigh bells. Gift wrap. Homicidal gingerbread men and heavily armed snowfolk. Mistletoe. These are the things that the holiday season's made of, at least if you go by the many Christmas expansions video games have to offer. In a bid to wring every precious cent out of the season, developers have long made a point of playing Santa with festive mission packs and candy cane-shaped firearms sold to their holly jolly fanbases.

The memories of these merry offerings may fade with the turning of the seasons, but as that time of year comes 'round again and we troll the ancient Yuletide servers, we wish to honor those jolly Christmas expansions of yore. Don you now your DLC apparel, prepare yourself for some ho-ho-horrible Christmas punnery, and lets dig into those precious holiday memories.

What do you get? A new, Christmas-themed game in the Monty Mole series. Perhaps you kids, with your Ratchet Daxter and your Grand Torino videogame entertainments, don’t appreciate that a new Monty Mole game was a pretty big deal once. Your job is to wrangle the source code for a new Monty Mole game, oversee mastering of said game, and get it to distributors in time for Christmas, even as you play that very game. Remember the season of Seinfeld devoted to the making of a fictional Jerry Seinfeld sitcom? That's nothing compared to the postmodern genius of Moley Christmas.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? By replacing the drudgery of actual games programming and distribution with scenes of hectic Santa-suited platforming and dodging holiday traffic, Moley Christmas pretty much puts a gun to your head and orders you to make with the festive, bitch.

What do you get? Some short demo levels of then-huge Lemmings, in which the suicidal little creatures romp in the snow and wearing Santa costumes. This concept proved to be so popular that two full games were launched around it. Still, it's a bit of an odd bird. Why do the “basher” lemmings have just as much trouble digging through fresh powder snow as they would solid rock? What’s the point of keeping the moronic critters alive through all manner of peril, only to bake them into a Christmas pudding? But meh, they're wearing Santa suits, so we’ll give it a pass.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? Christmas Lemmings threatens to succumb to a very merry malaise: it’s so bursting with holiday cheer it could almost make you sick. The game averts this outcome though by providing you with hundreds of Santa-looking merry-makers, all of whom can be exploded at your merest whim.

What do you get? Two levels of cult Saturn-era Sega action-adventure NiGHTS into Dreams, set during Christmas and featuring date-sensitive holiday content. The limited edition of NiGHTS wouldn’t turn into Winter Nights until November, but wait another month after that, and the game would bust out the seasonal festivities. Of course, you could just tell your Saturn every day was Christmas, and NiGHTS would be none the wiser.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? With all those presents, Christmas trees, sleighbells and techno-rearranged Christmas carols on offer, Christmas NiGHTS is a bit like eggnog. It’s great during the appropriate season, but yearly access would probably make you ill.

What do you get? Jazz Jackrabbit is a hare who collects carrots and fights turtles (convoluted Aesop shout-outs FTW). In his three(!) holiday games, he does those things in the snow, set to a sleigh-bell-accented backing track. Audiences were disgusted by the games’ slapdash approach to seasonal biology (neither jackrabbits nor turtles are greatly active in the winter months), which is the only reason Jazz Jackrabbit is never today mentioned in the same breath as Mario or Sonic.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? Holiday Hare’s leading speculates the Jackrabbit holiday games “may become part of the next generation’s holiday traditions.” Evidently, adding a “snow on the rooftops” effect to the game’s menu fonts went a long way.

What do you get? A couple of Christmas trees that sit in Station Square and display messages wishing best of the holidays, joining you in waiting with bated breath for then-impending Y2K. You're hardly whisked away to a winter wonderland, though. By and large, the whole affair stays the same, but the sunny downtown Square has a couple ropey-looking trees in it. Being as this isn't even DLC so much as a limited-time key for pre-existing content, you’d think there could be some dodgy late-‘90s snow effects or something.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? You are if you go close to the trees and listen closely: it would play you an acapella version of the music from Christmas NiGHTS.

What do you get? In Star Wars Galaxies, Rebels and their sympathizers join in celebrating the Star Wars universe’s greatest holiday festival. That would of course be Wookiee Life Day, invented for the single most reviled piece of Star Wars media ever produced: the Star Wars Holiday Special. As Wookiee Life Day isn’t actually a celebration of Christmas per se, the game can do whatever it likes with seasonal tradition. What it likes is to expand the mythology of the Holiday Special so that Wookiee Life Day is at once mortifyingly sweet and kind of heartwarming. You know, like Christmas itself.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? How could you fail to be? Just as the Holiday Special enriched the lives of everyone except George Lucas (who probably sleeps OK at night regardless), Star Wars Galaxies’ Life Day brings cheer into the homes of all who participate. Except those playing as the Empire: their official mandate is to grief the whole celebration.

What do you get? An installment of Sam and Max in which every Christmas trope is rehashed, subverted and twisted into a plot that also involves demonic possession, corporate meddling and the imminent Apocalypse. It's pretty seamlessly done, so it makes us wonder how game designers until 2007 to capitalize on the fact that Santa is an anagram of Satan. Puns and video games – who knew those tastes could go together?

Are you filled with holiday cheer? Sam and Max could take Tax Day and turn it into an occasion for festive merriment. By the time you’ve digested the , you'll be forgiven for just not having any idea what to do with yourself.

What do you get? Santa costumes. You could dress your characters up and use them to traumatize viewers too young to have their notions of Kris Kringle marred by the film Silent Night, Deadly Night. For a series that's endured the bolting-on of everything from bug-catching nets to diminutive Jedi warriors, the ability to make your characters dress like a pissed-off mall Santa is par for the course. As long plenty of ludicrous ass-kicking remains, the spirit will endure.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? Like fun you are. A couple measly red suits cost two bucks! Charging for this kind of frippery is basically forcing hardscrabble penny-pinchers to choose between seeing new outfits or eating Christmas dinner.

What did you get? The same juicy, slashy goodness you've come to expect from Fruit Ninja, but now there's a snow globe! To be precise, the snow globe is you, and as you flail your arms in a desperate attempt to reach that escaping coconut, your silhouette is replaced with a lovely, snowy landscape. Plus, your ninja-bladed hands have become candy cane blades, the most fearsome of all Christmas weapons. Everything else is pretty much the same, except that the master of fruit is wearing a Santa hat and instead of getting the multi-slice pomegranate, you get a fruitcake. I've always wanted to destroy one of those.

Were you filled with holiday cheer? Sometimes it's the little things that make the season special. Yeah, you're still slice and dicing tropical fruits, but the wintery hints are just so whimsical you'd have to be a Scrooge not to crack a smile.

What do you get? A lot of weirdness, which is good, because it wouldn't be Saints Row otherwise. While the Saints are decorating their base of operations with all sorts of holiday livery, a cybernetic Shaundi from the future appears and claims that the boss must defeat a corrupted Santa Claus with nothing but some pop-guns and the joy of the season. The boss isn't huge on that idea at first, but after blowing away Santa's gingerbread army, s/he inevitably gets into the spirit. You might say that his/her heart grew three sizes that day.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? This much holiday merriment in one place would be as cloying as a mug of melted candy canes, if it was at all serious. As it is, the Saints make their cybernetic, trigger-happy holiday hijinks just funny enough that ending on a cutesy Grinch reference is entirely tolerable.

What do you get? Two missions in an inexplicable Christmas town full of murderous, gun-totting snowmen. In How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day, arms dealer Marcus calls on the vault hunters to travel through a wardrobe to the annoyingly whimsical land of Gingerton and check on a lost gun shipment. That explanation creates way more questions than it answers, but there's no time to think about that as you're thrown into an adorable winterland where everything is out for your blood. There you meet the unnervingly shirtless Smaller-than-average Timothy and defeat a vicious snow-overlord named Tinder Snowflake.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? If you spend the entire game trying to figure out what a holiday about contract killers could possibly have to do with awkward Dickensian knock-offs, probably not. But if you think a Psycho singing Carol of the Bells is hilarious, you'll probably love this whole thing and get some sick loot out of the deal. And in the end, isn't that what Mercenary Day is REALLY about? No seriously, that's a real question.

What do you get? A content pack as fat as jolly ol' Saint Nick. The Minecraft Festive Mash-Up Pack contains 36 new avatar skins, as well as a feature that transforms your Minecraft world into the sort of joyful snowscape that Jingle Bells was written about. There's also a new, jollified version of the Minecraft soundtrack, giving the pack that extra holiday tinsel it needs to round it all out. This festive mash-up is currently exclusive to Xbox consoles, though Microsoft has claimed it will appear on other systems in the near future. Still, looks like the corporate overlord might be playing favorites this Christmas. Just a guess.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? With this many semi-square Christmas trees, white blocks replacing brown blocks, and , how can you not get into the holiday spirit?

What do you get? It's the most wonderful time of the year, and what better way to show it than with completely impractical festive costumes? Whether it's a sexy snowman, a sexy angel, or a sexy badly-wrapped present (seriously, someone get these girls some gift paper before they die of hypothermia), this Christmas costume set has you covered. Heck, even Hayate and Ein join the party as sexy reindeer, so there's something here for everyone. Except maybe people who don't want to sit in their living rooms shivering in empathy. Can't help you there.

Are you filled with holiday cheer? Just like with Soulcalibur, the idea of laying down hard-earned holiday money for a bunch of costumes is painful, especially when the pack costs a whopping $18. Holy mother of mistletoe! And yes, it only contains the costumes (a seasonally appropriate twelve of them), so you must really want to see the Dead or Alive cast in barely-there holiday attire to make this one worth it.

'Tis the days before Christmas, and all through the 'net, devs are offering expansions you may want to get. But take heart: memorable as they may be, there's only a few you'll want under your tree. Which of these expansions do you think is the best? Is there something much better you'd like to suggest? Say so in the comments, and have no fear - if you hate all of these, there's always next year!

Is it beginning to feel a lot like Christmas? Keep that feeling going with .

Ah, love in video games. Remember when it was so cool and giggle-provoking that Final Fantasy 7 let you take whichever lady party member (or Barrett) you favored most on a date to the Golden Saucer? Back then, the idea of building a romance in a video game was mostly limited to creepy adult adventures/untranslated dating sims. Not so any more.

Thanks in large part to BioWare's brave experiments in high-stakes fantasy smooching, the modern game consumer expects a host of dating options in anything that can muster up a dialogue tree. This critical eye for digital matchmaking reveals a disturbing trend: there are so many good player companions that, for whatever reason, you just can't date. In the following slides you'll find some of the most egregious examples of sadly un-romanceable characters, from the fan favorites to the obscure. Fortunately for you, taking this relationship to the next level only requires the push of a button (instead of, like, three buttons spread out over the course of a campaign).

Just imagine how things would have been different if these two former crime partners dealt in affection instead of cocaine. Sure, they have their problems - Tommy Vercetti's a control freak who is more comfortable building a criminal empire than talking about his feelings, and Lance Vance is a self-hating coke addict who guards himself from the outside world (most of whom, admittedly, just laugh about his name) with a paper-thin veneer of narcissism.

But who doesn't have issues? Instead of doing endless quests to expand the influence of Tommy's various businesses, why not make enough money so you can check Lance into rehab? After he's cleaned up, why not take him out to Club Malibu to show him you can have a good time without getting into the stuff? Once Tommy and Lance have found happiness in one another, rather than in money and high-powered firearms, then they can take over the city. They're still heinous criminals, after all, but at least they have each other.

Ok, a disclaimer up front: my Shepard's relationship with Dr. Chakwas was one of my favorite unifying elements of the Mass Effect trilogy, and I don't think I'd change a single thing about it. That said, in another playthrough with another Shepard, would I share more than just a bottle of Serrice ice brandy with her? Definitely. But no dice - the closest the Commander can get to a fling with the wise and witty medicine woman is a cherished friendship. Psssh.

This is a BioWare game. If I can't make out with a character just before the climactic final mission, can I even be certain it exists? They'll let you do it with an extraterrestrial that could die from taking off her helmet, yet Dr. Chakwas is left all alone in her little sick bay night after night? I'm beginning to detect some latent ageism at work here and I am not at all happy about it.

You get Seth Green to do a voice role in your game and then you don't let players date him? That's… ok, that's actually pretty understandable. At first blush, going out with a hollow-boned Scott Evil doesn't sound very appealing - particularly when you could instead be dating a sexy space Australian, or a blue empath with a button nose, or a humanoid reptile dying of a romantic disease. Despite the relatively scant screentime that Joker manages to snag across the Mass Effect trilogy (usually while peering back from the helm of the Normandy), his endless jokes and dauntless loyalty still managed to steal hearts.

I'm just saying, BioWare would have been much better served making Joker romanceable than Kaidan (yuck). Yet the only time it saw fit to acknowledge the potential pairing was a throwaway line of dialogue in the third game, at which point he already has his sights set on EDI's new metallic form. Damn you, Joker! Her robotic arms may hold you tighter, but ours are far less likely to crush your ribcage!

Can the 'master of unlocking' pick her way into Chris Redfield's heart? Can the pointman for S.T.A.R.S. Alpha Team show he's more than a beefcake cop with a burning need to prove himself? I'd like to know, but for whatever reason Capcom left a romance subplot out of the original Resident Evil and the director's cut. Talk about an oversight! What an ideal change of pace it would have been to leave a little love note in a typewriter, or a touching little herb arrangement in a safe room, or to rearrange a bunch of puzzle panels into a heart shape.

That's all I'm really asking for, here - they don't need to convert Resident Evil into a full-scale dating sim. Whatever it is, it can't be worse than spending a decade-and-change denying the pair's chemistry as they go from police partners to the co-founders of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance. Maybe the relationship doesn't work out after the adrenaline-pumping thrill of escaping the Spencer Estate wears off? That's completely fine - at least they gave it a shot.

Mario and Peach have been doing this whole ‘I rescue you, you bake me a cake, I rescue you, you give me a kiss on the cheek’ thing for almost 30 years. Clearly the kidnapper-rescuer dynamic did something for them at some point, but it's just become rote by now, and he still hasn't put a ring on it. It would be much healthier if they just broke off whatever informal courtship they maintain and see other people.

Peach will have her choice of royal suitors, but who should Mario try to connect with? Someone who doesn't carry around all that royal baggage. Someone who cares about his well-being enough to guide him through tutorial after tutorial. Someone who was happy for him when he and Peach were doing well, even though she cried at the thought of not seeing him. Someone whose bouncy pink braids could be made out of hair or fungus, depending on what Toad Caps actually are. Someone named Toadette.

This must have been one of the many concepts that got left on Irrational Games' cutting room floor, right? I mean, Elizabeth and Booker would just be so perfect together! He's the grizzled veteran who lost his wife in childbirth, she's the smart but naive young woman who is ready to find her place in the big, bright world. Remember when she asked him if there was a woman in his life? And all those coins and ammunition packs she keeps finding? Yeah, she wants the 'D'... as in 'DeWitt'. You're gross.

They complete each other so well, it's hard to believe that BioShock Infinite didn't set the two of them up. If only Irrational devoted fewer resources to endless gunfights and more to romance! Admittedly, I didn't finish the game, so maybe this entry is in error. They have to get together in the end, right? What reason could Booker and Elizabeth possibly have to not hook up?

Ah, Varric, he whose winning smile and flowing chest hair launched a thousand Tumblr posts. The guy has a lot going for him aside from the amber forest that sprouts from his ultra-low-cut shirt, of course. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more charming scoundrel outside of the Millenium Falcon. And despite his thin facade as a conniving spymaster, he can't help but use his underworld connections to protect his fellow adventurers.

In more grounded terms, he's clearly the best-adjusted character in the series, and once he gets too old for the adventuring game he can always retire to run the family business… or write trashy novels full time. If only he hadn't pledged his heart to Bianca - the girl, not the crossbow. Or maybe the crossbow, too? Oh well. Statistically speaking, if Varric keeps showing up in Dragon Age games he'll have to date a protagonist at some point.

You've made it to the finale! Now let me see if you've performed enough favorable actions to get the makeout ending… Hmm, looks like you're still on 'warm handshake' level. Ah well. But before we part ways, make sure to note in a few of your own ideas for companions that should have been romance-able in the comments below.

It's just not fair, considering how these in gaming.

Ah, love in video games. Remember when it was so cool and giggle-provoking that Final Fantasy 7 let you take whichever lady party member (or Barrett) you favored most on a date to the Golden Saucer? Back then, the idea of building a romance in a video game was mostly limited to creepy adult adventures/untranslated dating sims. Not so any more.

Thanks in large part to BioWare's brave experiments in high-stakes fantasy smooching, the modern game consumer expects a host of dating options in anything that can muster up a dialogue tree. This critical eye for digital matchmaking reveals a disturbing trend: there are so many good player companions that, for whatever reason, you just can't date. In the following slides you'll find some of the most egregious examples of sadly un-romanceable characters, from the fan favorites to the obscure. Fortunately for you, taking this relationship to the next level only requires the push of a button (instead of, like, three buttons spread out over the course of a campaign).

Just imagine how things would have been different if these two former crime partners dealt in affection instead of cocaine. Sure, they have their problems - Tommy Vercetti's a control freak who is more comfortable building a criminal empire than talking about his feelings, and Lance Vance is a self-hating coke addict who guards himself from the outside world (most of whom, admittedly, just laugh about his name) with a paper-thin veneer of narcissism.

But who doesn't have issues? Instead of doing endless quests to expand the influence of Tommy's various businesses, why not make enough money so you can check Lance into rehab? After he's cleaned up, why not take him out to Club Malibu to show him you can have a good time without getting into the stuff? Once Tommy and Lance have found happiness in one another, rather than in money and high-powered firearms, then they can take over the city. They're still heinous criminals, after all, but at least they have each other.

Ok, a disclaimer up front: my Shepard's relationship with Dr. Chakwas was one of my favorite unifying elements of the Mass Effect trilogy, and I don't think I'd change a single thing about it. That said, in another playthrough with another Shepard, would I share more than just a bottle of Serrice ice brandy with her? Definitely. But no dice - the closest the Commander can get to a fling with the wise and witty medicine woman is a cherished friendship. Psssh.

This is a BioWare game. If I can't make out with a character just before the climactic final mission, can I even be certain it exists? They'll let you do it with an extraterrestrial that could die from taking off her helmet, yet Dr. Chakwas is left all alone in her little sick bay night after night? I'm beginning to detect some latent ageism at work here and I am not at all happy about it.

You get Seth Green to do a voice role in your game and then you don't let players date him? That's… ok, that's actually pretty understandable. At first blush, going out with a hollow-boned Scott Evil doesn't sound very appealing - particularly when you could instead be dating a sexy space Australian, or a blue empath with a button nose, or a humanoid reptile dying of a romantic disease. Despite the relatively scant screentime that Joker manages to snag across the Mass Effect trilogy (usually while peering back from the helm of the Normandy), his endless jokes and dauntless loyalty still managed to steal hearts.

I'm just saying, BioWare would have been much better served making Joker romanceable than Kaidan (yuck). Yet the only time it saw fit to acknowledge the potential pairing was a throwaway line of dialogue in the third game, at which point he already has his sights set on EDI's new metallic form. Damn you, Joker! Her robotic arms may hold you tighter, but ours are far less likely to crush your ribcage!

Can the 'master of unlocking' pick her way into Chris Redfield's heart? Can the pointman for S.T.A.R.S. Alpha Team show he's more than a beefcake cop with a burning need to prove himself? I'd like to know, but for whatever reason Capcom left a romance subplot out of the original Resident Evil and the director's cut. Talk about an oversight! What an ideal change of pace it would have been to leave a little love note in a typewriter, or a touching little herb arrangement in a safe room, or to rearrange a bunch of puzzle panels into a heart shape.

That's all I'm really asking for, here - they don't need to convert Resident Evil into a full-scale dating sim. Whatever it is, it can't be worse than spending a decade-and-change denying the pair's chemistry as they go from police partners to the co-founders of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance. Maybe the relationship doesn't work out after the adrenaline-pumping thrill of escaping the Spencer Estate wears off? That's completely fine - at least they gave it a shot.

Mario and Peach have been doing this whole ‘I rescue you, you bake me a cake, I rescue you, you give me a kiss on the cheek’ thing for almost 30 years. Clearly the kidnapper-rescuer dynamic did something for them at some point, but it's just become rote by now, and he still hasn't put a ring on it. It would be much healthier if they just broke off whatever informal courtship they maintain and see other people.

Peach will have her choice of royal suitors, but who should Mario try to connect with? Someone who doesn't carry around all that royal baggage. Someone who cares about his well-being enough to guide him through tutorial after tutorial. Someone who was happy for him when he and Peach were doing well, even though she cried at the thought of not seeing him. Someone whose bouncy pink braids could be made out of hair or fungus, depending on what Toad Caps actually are. Someone named Toadette.

This must have been one of the many concepts that got left on Irrational Games' cutting room floor, right? I mean, Elizabeth and Booker would just be so perfect together! He's the grizzled veteran who lost his wife in childbirth, she's the smart but naive young woman who is ready to find her place in the big, bright world. Remember when she asked him if there was a woman in his life? And all those coins and ammunition packs she keeps finding? Yeah, she wants the 'D'... as in 'DeWitt'. You're gross.

They complete each other so well, it's hard to believe that BioShock Infinite didn't set the two of them up. If only Irrational devoted fewer resources to endless gunfights and more to romance! Admittedly, I didn't finish the game, so maybe this entry is in error. They have to get together in the end, right? What reason could Booker and Elizabeth possibly have to not hook up?

Ah, Varric, he whose winning smile and flowing chest hair launched a thousand Tumblr posts. The guy has a lot going for him aside from the amber forest that sprouts from his ultra-low-cut shirt, of course. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more charming scoundrel outside of the Millenium Falcon. And despite his thin facade as a conniving spymaster, he can't help but use his underworld connections to protect his fellow adventurers.

In more grounded terms, he's clearly the best-adjusted character in the series, and once he gets too old for the adventuring game he can always retire to run the family business… or write trashy novels full time. If only he hadn't pledged his heart to Bianca - the girl, not the crossbow. Or maybe the crossbow, too? Oh well. Statistically speaking, if Varric keeps showing up in Dragon Age games he'll have to date a protagonist at some point.

You've made it to the finale! Now let me see if you've performed enough favorable actions to get the makeout ending… Hmm, looks like you're still on 'warm handshake' level. Ah well. But before we part ways, make sure to note in a few of your own ideas for companions that should have been romance-able in the comments below.

It's just not fair, considering how these in gaming.

Ah, love in video games. Remember when it was so cool and giggle-provoking that Final Fantasy 7 let you take whichever lady party member (or Barrett) you favored most on a date to the Golden Saucer? Back then, the idea of building a romance in a video game was mostly limited to creepy adult adventures/untranslated dating sims. Not so any more.

Thanks in large part to BioWare's brave experiments in high-stakes fantasy smooching, the modern game consumer expects a host of dating options in anything that can muster up a dialogue tree. This critical eye for digital matchmaking reveals a disturbing trend: there are so many good player companions that, for whatever reason, you just can't date. In the following slides you'll find some of the most egregious examples of sadly un-romanceable characters, from the fan favorites to the obscure. Fortunately for you, taking this relationship to the next level only requires the push of a button (instead of, like, three buttons spread out over the course of a campaign).

Just imagine how things would have been different if these two former crime partners dealt in affection instead of cocaine. Sure, they have their problems - Tommy Vercetti's a control freak who is more comfortable building a criminal empire than talking about his feelings, and Lance Vance is a self-hating coke addict who guards himself from the outside world (most of whom, admittedly, just laugh about his name) with a paper-thin veneer of narcissism.

But who doesn't have issues? Instead of doing endless quests to expand the influence of Tommy's various businesses, why not make enough money so you can check Lance into rehab? After he's cleaned up, why not take him out to Club Malibu to show him you can have a good time without getting into the stuff? Once Tommy and Lance have found happiness in one another, rather than in money and high-powered firearms, then they can take over the city. They're still heinous criminals, after all, but at least they have each other.

Ok, a disclaimer up front: my Shepard's relationship with Dr. Chakwas was one of my favorite unifying elements of the Mass Effect trilogy, and I don't think I'd change a single thing about it. That said, in another playthrough with another Shepard, would I share more than just a bottle of Serrice ice brandy with her? Definitely. But no dice - the closest the Commander can get to a fling with the wise and witty medicine woman is a cherished friendship. Psssh.

This is a BioWare game. If I can't make out with a character just before the climactic final mission, can I even be certain it exists? They'll let you do it with an extraterrestrial that could die from taking off her helmet, yet Dr. Chakwas is left all alone in her little sick bay night after night? I'm beginning to detect some latent ageism at work here and I am not at all happy about it.

You get Seth Green to do a voice role in your game and then you don't let players date him? That's… ok, that's actually pretty understandable. At first blush, going out with a hollow-boned Scott Evil doesn't sound very appealing - particularly when you could instead be dating a sexy space Australian, or a blue empath with a button nose, or a humanoid reptile dying of a romantic disease. Despite the relatively scant screentime that Joker manages to snag across the Mass Effect trilogy (usually while peering back from the helm of the Normandy), his endless jokes and dauntless loyalty still managed to steal hearts.

I'm just saying, BioWare would have been much better served making Joker romanceable than Kaidan (yuck). Yet the only time it saw fit to acknowledge the potential pairing was a throwaway line of dialogue in the third game, at which point he already has his sights set on EDI's new metallic form. Damn you, Joker! Her robotic arms may hold you tighter, but ours are far less likely to crush your ribcage!

Can the 'master of unlocking' pick her way into Chris Redfield's heart? Can the pointman for S.T.A.R.S. Alpha Team show he's more than a beefcake cop with a burning need to prove himself? I'd like to know, but for whatever reason Capcom left a romance subplot out of the original Resident Evil and the director's cut. Talk about an oversight! What an ideal change of pace it would have been to leave a little love note in a typewriter, or a touching little herb arrangement in a safe room, or to rearrange a bunch of puzzle panels into a heart shape.

That's all I'm really asking for, here - they don't need to convert Resident Evil into a full-scale dating sim. Whatever it is, it can't be worse than spending a decade-and-change denying the pair's chemistry as they go from police partners to the co-founders of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance. Maybe the relationship doesn't work out after the adrenaline-pumping thrill of escaping the Spencer Estate wears off? That's completely fine - at least they gave it a shot.

Mario and Peach have been doing this whole ‘I rescue you, you bake me a cake, I rescue you, you give me a kiss on the cheek’ thing for almost 30 years. Clearly the kidnapper-rescuer dynamic did something for them at some point, but it's just become rote by now, and he still hasn't put a ring on it. It would be much healthier if they just broke off whatever informal courtship they maintain and see other people.

Peach will have her choice of royal suitors, but who should Mario try to connect with? Someone who doesn't carry around all that royal baggage. Someone who cares about his well-being enough to guide him through tutorial after tutorial. Someone who was happy for him when he and Peach were doing well, even though she cried at the thought of not seeing him. Someone whose bouncy pink braids could be made out of hair or fungus, depending on what Toad Caps actually are. Someone named Toadette.

This must have been one of the many concepts that got left on Irrational Games' cutting room floor, right? I mean, Elizabeth and Booker would just be so perfect together! He's the grizzled veteran who lost his wife in childbirth, she's the smart but naive young woman who is ready to find her place in the big, bright world. Remember when she asked him if there was a woman in his life? And all those coins and ammunition packs she keeps finding? Yeah, she wants the 'D'... as in 'DeWitt'. You're gross.

They complete each other so well, it's hard to believe that BioShock Infinite didn't set the two of them up. If only Irrational devoted fewer resources to endless gunfights and more to romance! Admittedly, I didn't finish the game, so maybe this entry is in error. They have to get together in the end, right? What reason could Booker and Elizabeth possibly have to not hook up?

Ah, Varric, he whose winning smile and flowing chest hair launched a thousand Tumblr posts. The guy has a lot going for him aside from the amber forest that sprouts from his ultra-low-cut shirt, of course. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more charming scoundrel outside of the Millenium Falcon. And despite his thin facade as a conniving spymaster, he can't help but use his underworld connections to protect his fellow adventurers.

In more grounded terms, he's clearly the best-adjusted character in the series, and once he gets too old for the adventuring game he can always retire to run the family business… or write trashy novels full time. If only he hadn't pledged his heart to Bianca - the girl, not the crossbow. Or maybe the crossbow, too? Oh well. Statistically speaking, if Varric keeps showing up in Dragon Age games he'll have to date a protagonist at some point.

You've made it to the finale! Now let me see if you've performed enough favorable actions to get the makeout ending… Hmm, looks like you're still on 'warm handshake' level. Ah well. But before we part ways, make sure to note in a few of your own ideas for companions that should have been romance-able in the comments below.

It's just not fair, considering how these in gaming.