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Nine of PlayStation#39;s smartest Artificial Intelligence pests

Added: 28.05.2015 12:00 | 22 views | 0 comments

Robots are pretty handy, eh? Capable of lifting the things we really don't want to and making all sorts of things with their ever-expanding digital brain smarts. Though if videogames teach us anything, it's never to trust Artificial Intelligence. Sure, they may try to win us over with their high efficiency and fancy logic, but deep down they're plotting your inferior demise.

Take this list as a warning then, here are the nine PlayStation AI's you need to keep a close eye on...

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The cake, and every sarcastic syllable uttered by the wonderfully sardonic GLaDOS, is a big fib. Though the AI would gladly test Chell with a variety of dimension-distorting puzzles until the end of time, she eventually becomes a reluctant ally in the sequel.

Never has the name Guardian Angel held so little meaning. Not only does this artificial overseer suck at watching out for the Vault hunters, she also regularly betrays them. In fairness, Angel does have a tragic past, as her pappy tethered her to a computer after she drove her mammy away.

EDI or (Enhanced Defence Intelligence) was once a dry-witted computer sphere. Though she lacked a body at the time, she still seemed to have a romantically-charged relationship with pilot Joker. Naturally, he’s thrilled when she commandeers a smokin’ body for herself in ME3.

The Thinker is either the centre of the Rapture Operational Data Interpreter Network or The Riddler’s dweeby second cousin. After creating said intelligence, its two inventors battled over its purpose, with one hoping to predict sports scores and the other trying to use it as a home for the personality of his dead wife. Creepy.

Don’t let that Zooey Deschanel fringe fool you. Eliza Cassan is pure evil. For much of HR, Cassan passes herself off as a reporter, but once Adam Jensen does some sleuthing, he discovers she’s the AI responsible for his wife’s kidnapping.

With a moniker like The Executioners, Star Ocean’s race of computerised menaces were never likely to be cuddly space bunnies. And being a complicated and twee JRPG, their origin story is longer than the Bible.

There’s nothing like a little apocalypse to spawn an artificial intelligence that soon enslaves thousands of people in a Matrix-like web of virtual deceit. The game’s über baddy is a half-man/half AI called Pyramid who creates a mighty structure that keeps its prisoners docile with happy memories.

Long thought to be nought but a group of harmless... alright, evil megalomaniacs, Metal Gear’s Patriots are revealed to be a group of super AI programmes. They were created by Big Boss’ arch enemy Major Zero in order to control the world’s digital flow of info. The cads.

President Eden is certainly the patriotic sort, being a rogue AI system who wants to murderise every last one of the Wasteland’s mutants – a task he’ll gladly wage war on the States in order to complete. USA! USA! USA!



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