Names are tough, because there's such a fine line between sounding cool and sounding completely bonkers. A good name sticks with people, a bad one sticks with people because it sounds like something a porn star would reject for being too obvious.

We have a lot of porn star-sounding game character names in the following slides, as well as ones that are too-cool-for-school and others still that are just complete nonsense. If you've ever been picked on for having a goofy sounding name, take comfort in the fact that it could have been worse - much worse.

Seen having a stupid name in: Punch-Out!! (arcade game)

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a first grader's attempt at identifying 'Italian things'. Seriously, was this THE FIRST THING that popped into the developers' heads when designing their Italian boxer? What about Gucci Gnocchi?

Seen having a stupid name in: Super Punch-Out!!

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a fun way to speed the weekend. Do you think when Bear's parents named him, they knew their son would grow up to be a grizzled old mountain man who's also a boxer? It was destiny.

Seen having a stupid name in: Street Fighter EX

Name is stupid because it sounds like: WrestleMania, only deadlier.

Seen having a stupid name in: Mega Man X5

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Duffman from The Simpsons, oh yeah! Fun fact: the Duff is apparently short for Duffin, which doesn't make it any better.

Seen having a stupid name in: Mega Man X6

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a device that plays metal sharks. What would even be on a metal shark? Music, videos, lots of teeth?

Seen having a stupid name in: The King of Fighters XIII

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a grab bag of words people think sound cool. If he started a band, it would totally be called Nightmare Final Infinity.

Seen having a stupid name in: King of the Monsters 2

Name is stupid because it sounds like: some sort of weird, online sex slang (unlike all that totally normal online sex slang).

Seen having a stupid name in: Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a stupid pun on the phrase "miles per hour." Tails is a decent enough name, but when you learn his name is actually Miles Prower - which sounds like "prowler" - it makes him sound like a creepy stalker.

Seen having a stupid name in: Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-

Name is stupid because it sounds like: laziness.

Seen having a stupid name in: several Tekken games

Name is stupid because it sounds like: martial law. Even though the character has nothing to do with the military or the legal system. Super funny, right? Get it?

Seen having a stupid name in: No More Heroes

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a cheap way to have "down" in his last name. The main character's name is Travis TouchDOWN so, naturally, his rival should have the word 'down' in there somewhere.

Seen having a stupid name in: Toshinden 4

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a bunch of knightly words strung together. If your character is already a knight - and you feel the need to put the word knight in his name - then take a step back and really think over the decisions you've made in your life.

Seen having a stupid name: Final Fantasy X

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the noise a teeny, tiny baby would make while playing with a toy. Actually, Wakka was the goofball of the group, and he did fight using a toy, so I guess this name fits.

Seen having a stupid name in: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Name is stupid because as a matter of fact: Starkiller didn't kill any stars.

Seen having a stupid name in: Ready 2 Rumble Boxing

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a porn star. Seriously, you're going to find a lot of these in this list.

Seen having a stupid name in: Zone of the Enders: The 2nd Runner

Name is stupid because it sounds like: an Australian game show host. And yes, I'm saying the name's Australian because it has the word 'dingo' in it. I'm sorry.

Seen having a stupid name in: Zettai Hero Project: Unlosing Ranger VS. Darkdeath Evilman

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the first draft of a new Power Rangers villain. To be fair, ZHP is a parody game, so Mr. Evilman is technically a parody of generic villain names. But even so, it's still too ridiculous not to feature here.

Seen having a stupid name in: Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

Name is stupid because it sounds like: his parents had a really, really cruel sense of humor. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during the 'Hot Coldman vs. Cold Hotman' naming meeting at Kojima Productions. Thankfully, good taste prevailed.

Seen having a stupid name in: Mario Kart 8

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Nintendo really has run out of new ideas for Mario Kart Racers.

Seen having a stupid name in: Devil May Cry 3

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a basic description for a character. There's actually a wonderfully convoluted reason for why Lady calls herself Lady, but the end result is that it's still a dumb name.

Seen having a stupid name in: Kingdom Hearts 2

Name is stupid because it sounds like: someone wanted a group of 13 people to all have the letter 'X' in their name, but ran out of good ideas after the first one.

Seen having a stupid name in: Chris Moneymaker's World Poker Championship

Name is stupid because it sounds like: an evil CEO in one of those family-friendly movies starring a talking animal.

Seen having a stupid name in: EarthBound

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Mr. Carpenter, which would have been a fine name, but if you really squint your eyes and read it again it actually says car painter. Car painter? As in, one who paints cars?

Seen having a stupid name in: Dirge of Cerberus

Name is stupid because it sounds like: blue the blue, which is basically what he's called. His name sounds like azure, a shade of blue, and his... um... title is cerulean, another shade of blue. There you have it: Blue the Blue.

Seen having a stupid name in: too many Mario games

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Luigi but with a 'W' at the front, yeah, we get it Nintendo, it's like what you did with Wario, only his named sounded cool and this just sounds like some kind of word jumble. Poor Luigi, even his villains are lame.

Seen having a stupid name in: Fracture.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a '50s high school football hero transported into the year 3090, where he stars as the protagonist of a pulpy sci-fi adventure serial, itself made in the '50s. Also, he sounds a bit like a porn star.

Seen having a stupid name in: Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: computer science slang.

"Yeah, I was having trouble getting that part of the UI to display properly, but I've run a quick dash rendar to kluge it together for now. I'll fix it properly tomorrow"

Even for a character living in the Star Wars universe, it's ridiculous.

Seen having a stupid name in: the Gears of War series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a porn star. Seriously. Take him out of context and it does.

Seen having a stupid name in: Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy on the Atari Jaguar. That's why you've never heard of him.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the developers did not realise that simply putting "Mc" in front of an obvious character trait does not a plausible name or believable characterisation make. Also, given the current state of internet culture, it's inadvisable to put the word "fur" in any character's name. Also also, Trevor is my dad's name and so all of this just freaks me out. Click on to the next slide now and forget that this one ever happened.

Seen having a stupid name in: Rosco McQueen, Firefighter Extreme.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a southern '70s sheriff who works by his own rules but gets the job done.

Seen having a stupid name in: the Halo series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: of all the real-world naval ranks available to them, Bungie chose the one most likely to sound like "Captain Boss" to those uninitiated in military designations.

Seen having a stupid name in: Star Ocean: The Last Hope.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name a 10 year-old would give themselves if handed a deed poll form shortly after being handed a bottle of whiskey and a giant bag of Skittles.

Seen having a stupid name in: Final Fantasy VII and its multitudinous spin-offs.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a teenage goth's online alter-ego. Or alternately, that of a French porn star.

Look, I'm going to stop doing the porn star joke now, because a) it's not a joke, and b) it applies to nearly all of them. Can we just agree that it goes without saying from this point on? It'll save me a lot of time. Like, literally seconds.

Seen having a stupid name in: Final Fantasy VII and its multitudinous spin-offs.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Square-Enix realised that "Cloud" sounded too much like the product of hippie parenting. Given that Cloud was to be their most emo hero to date, they thus stuck "Strife" on the end in order to add additional angst. He might as well be called Rainbow Misery.

Seen having a stupid name in: Far too many Sonic the Hedgehog games.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: an instruction to do something unpleasant to a rabbit.

Seen having a stupid name in: Mace Griffin, Bounty Hunter.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the developers decided that sticking together the respective names of a medieval weapon and a mythical beast was a dead-cert route to badassery. And it should be. But in practice, it isn't.

Seen having a stupid name in: the Wolfenstein series

Name is stupid because it sounds like: iD effectively tried to shoehorn the word "blast" into the name of an action hero.

Seen having a stupid name in: Metal Gear

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the subtitle of any modern military FPS.

Seen having a stupid name in: Metal Gear Solid

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a gadget used by James Bond during the ultra-camp Roger Moore period.

Seen having a stupid name in: Parasite Eve

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a mad scientist. Which is exactly what he is. A really, really obvious mad scientist. Who was somehow allowed to carry on with his mad science until he nearly brought about the destruction of the world. Hans Klamp, people. He was called Hans Klamp. And just look at his freaking beard! Look at it!

Seen having a stupid name in: the Virtua Fighter series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Sega obviously didn't pay attention to my "Jimmy McCharactertrait" rule from earlier on.

Seen having a stupid name in: the Virtua Fighter series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Sega have tried to subvert the "Jimmy McCharactertrait" rule, but only slightly succeeded.

We know that Wolf is a nature-loving woodsman, but the point need not be laboured by stapling together three elements of the natural world in order to create his name. Who's his arch-rival, Concrete Buildingstreet?

Seen having a stupid name in: Final Fantasy VIII.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: half a sentence. Rinoa Heartilly what? Ate a juicy roast chicken? Laughed at the poor? What? What was Rinoa doing with such gusto, Squenix?

Seen having a stupid name in: the real world, as a pro-gaming association.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the supporters' association of a well-known assisted suicide clinic in Switzerland. Apparently the whole thing was a complete, really unfortunate accident, and they were quite embarrassed when they discovered connotation.

Seen having a stupid name in: the Guilty Gear series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: OH COME ON!

Seen having a stupid name in: the Star Fox series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: his parents spent very little time naming him.

"So we, Mr. and Mrs. McCloud, being foxes, as we are, have birthed a baby fox. What shall we call him?"

"Fox?"

"Done"

Seen having a stupid name in: Dark Souls.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: I'm not even getting into this one.

Seen having a stupid name in: the Ace Attorney series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Capcom tried to go for a name that playfully danced with genre conventions, but then went a bit too far, effectively naming their character "Detective Detective".

Seen having a stupid name in: the Ace Attorney series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Okay, looking back over these pages I think we we might actually have stumbled upon the method for coming up with your own personal Video Game Name. By my estimation the method is simply a case of working out your porn name (first pet + mothers maiden name) and then substituting one of the words with the name of a mythological beast or dangerous real-world animal of your choosing. Mine is Goldie Minotaur*. Tell me Metal Gear Solid has never used anything sillier.

*I imagine Goldie Minotaur to be a street-smart female detective in a lightly steampunk-tinged '20s-noir universe. Because why wouldn't she be? She's not a minotaur though. I'm not going all Star Fox with this one.

Seen having a stupid name in: the Ace Attorney series. Again.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a low-to-medium-profile mid-'80s wrestler, with a garish gold outfit and a large beard.

Any other stupendously named characters you think I've missed? Any in this list you think have been hard done by? Let me know. And don't forget to drop your official Video Game Name in the comments.

And while you're here, check out some of our other tasty feature content. I'd recommend .

We sure seem to be getting a lot of remasters lately, huh? You can't go a week without some old game getting a brand new day in the spotlight on modern hardware. But there are reasons why they're so commonplace. People still want to revisit the classics, and that SNES cartridge just won't fit in a Wii U. And publishers, realizing that blockbuster games are time-consuming and costly endeavors, are reaching into their back catalogs to fill the gaps with inexpensive ports.

It's nice to get a chance to revisit those vintage games we haven't played in years, but many publishers are keen to simply dress up an old game's graphics, toss it on some new hardware, and call it a day. Sometimes, though, a remaster goes above and beyond to become something truly special. Maybe it's been slightly redesigned to adhere to modern game design sensibilities, or it includes additional features to entice returning players, or the overhaul itself is vastly more impressive than a simple reskin job. Whatever the case, these are the remasters that turned out to be more fun than the original game they're based on.

The Metroid Prime series did the impossible - it not only took the two-dimensional exploration the series is known for and expertly applied it to a three-dimensional space, it also made first-person jumping not suck. But if you wanted to play the whole series back-to-back, you had to have a GameCube and a Wii, GameCube controllers and memory cards, Wii Remotes, Nunchucks… It was a mess. Thankfully, Nintendo re-released all three in one Metroid Prime Trilogy package for the Wii (and on Wii U Virtual Console).

These games were instant classics, so Retro Studios could have gotten away with quick port jobs. Instead, it converted every game into full widescreen, and tied all three games together with the achievement/reward unlock system introduced in Metroid Prime 3. But best of all, the first two games in the series can be controlled using the Wii Remote and Nunchuck controllers. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but the Remote's point-and-shoot aiming gives you far more precision than your typical console FPS. Couple that with Metroid Prime's snappy lock-on targeting, and you'll be dancing circles around your enemies in no time.

When the desolate nuke-soaked landscape of Metro 2033 first arrived on PCs and consoles in 2010, it was rough around the edges. Sure, it looked nice (on PC anyway), but it was a bit too unforgiving to new players. Stealth was all but broken, if you didn't properly prepare at the beginning of the game you were boned by the end, and to top it all off, it was just generally kind of buggy. And the console versions were even jankier than the PC version.

Luckily, this uniquely atmospheric game got a new lease on life when 4A Games released the Metro Redux collection, and completely rebuilt Metro 2033 to bring it up to par with the far more playable Metro: Last Light. Not only are the graphics completely rehauled, but several new modes make it easier (like the Spartan mode which turns it into a more conventional first-person shooter) or harder (like Ranger mode, which is the closest anyone will hopefully ever get to life in a frigid Russian wasteland filled with irradiated mutants). Thanks to the update, Metro 2033 gets to be the beautifully desolate survival experience it was always meant to be.

Capcom is certainly no stranger to the world of ports and remakes (see: Street Fighter 2, Mega Man, Darkstalkers…). But when Capcom makes the effort to actually recreate a beloved classic for modern audiences, it doesn't just phone it in. The Resident Evil remake (or REmake, as fans have called it) on GameCube (and subsequent rerelease on new-gen consoles (I told you Capcom does this a lot)) does a lot more to the Spencer Mansion than some simple redecorating.

Sure, you get the higher-resolution backgrounds and nicer looking character models. Capcom also added a few new locations which were cut from the original game, as well as revamped puzzles to keep old players on their toes. Enhanced controls (180-degree turns!), and defensive maneuvers were also added to help give players a slight edge. Why would they need that, exactly? Because zombies can now come back to life as Crimson Heads, even faster and more deadly than before. It was enough to make my friend (who knew the original like the back of his hand) scream "HOLY SHIT THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN" when he got attacked by a Crimson Head for the first time. This is how you remake a classic.

The Bionic Commando reboot may not have gotten the love it deserved <(a href="http://www.gamesradar.com/what-game-did-you-love-everyone-hated/" target="_blank">unless you're one of the true fans). I guess that's what happens when you put your dead wife inside a bionic arm (it's a long, dumb story). Surprisingly, the downloadable Bionic Commando Rearmed took off instead, and its popularity is well deserved.

Rearmed is essentially a gussied-up retelling of the original NES classic, but it's so much more than that. The swinging physics were retooled to be more fluid and natural, bosses were changed to make use of all of your available skills, additional challenge levels and the entire last level are completely new to the game, and you can play through it all with a bud. And no, you still can't jump. That's what the grapple arm is for!

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of the DuckTales game? That's right - it's the joy of hopping around each zany level with Scrooge McDuck's cane like a child given a gallon of Surge. And when Capcom and WayForward brought DuckTales to a new generation of hardware, they made sure to keep that bounce intact. But that's not all they did for DuckTales fans young and old.

They brought back the entire surviving cast of the classic '90s cartoon show, including nonagenarian badass Alan Young to reprise his role as Scrooge. To make things look even more like the TV show, all of the game's 8-bit art was replaced with actual hand-drawn animation. Even the music blended elements of the classic NES game with newly recorded renditions of the songs from the animated series. In short, it's the perfect love letter to fans of DuckTales in every form.

Like a few games on this list, Final Fantasy 4 has been rereleased several times over the years, but its 3D incarnation on the DS (and more recently on PC and mobile devices) is its best, most fully version featured yet. Every cave, town, and moon has been lovingly recreated in 3D, and many of the most important scenes have surprisingly good voice work to accompany them.

With new minigames, sidequests, and additional plot points that weren't included in the original version of the game, the 3D version of Final Fantasy 4 is already packed with reasons to dive back in. But wait - there's more! A New Game Plus option lets you carry your equipment over to a second playthrough, where you can take on some hidden bosses for the first time. Sure, you don't get all the extra epilogue content featured in the After Years, but that stuff was mostly crap anyway.

Wind Waker has benefitted greatly from the value of hindsight. Originally decried by Zelda fans as 'that dumb kiddie cartoon one', now it's (rightly) heralded as one of the best Zelda games ever made. Except for, you know, that one bit near the end. You know, where you have to find all of those maps, pay for them to be translated, then find all of the Triforce pieces? And it takes foreeeeeeeeeeeeverrrrrrrrrr? God, wouldn't it be great if Nintendo would just fix it so it wasn't such a pain in the ass?

Well, as it happens, they totally did in the HD rerelease for Wii U. In addition to removing several steps of that asinine Triforce treasure hunt, there's also a special sail you can pick up at the auction house that speeds up travel times significantly. While it doesn't entirely fix Wind Waker's issues, it's still the best version of an already spectacular game.

What if Metal Gear was even more like one of your Japanese animes? What if it ditched the grainy, blocky polygons of the PlayStation era and adopted the sleeker, smoother curves of Metal Gear Solid 2? Well, your prayers are answered, because The Twin Snakes makes Metal Gear Solid even more bonkers (if you can believe it) and much prettier to look at.

Not only does The Twin Snakes bring with it a much-appreciated improvement in graphical fidelity, it also features many of the same moves and abilities from Metal Gear Solid 2 - including its first-person aiming mode. The Twin Snakes also features some incredibly over-the-top cutscenes, directed by Japanese action flick director Ryuhei Kitamura. Like, 'backflip-onto-a-missile-and-return-fire-with-a-rocket-of-your-own' kind of over-the-top. While the original Metal Gear Solid still remains a classic, The Twin Snakes just feels so much more entertaining.

The first two Monkey Island games are amazing point-and-click adventures, filled to the brim with hilarious pirate jokes, insult sword fighting, and way too many modern conveniences for a game set during the Golden Age of Piracy. But ever since I played the third entry, The Curse of Monkey Island, I always hoped that LucasArts would go back to the old games and stick some new artwork and voice acting on top of them.

Turns out my wish was granted back in 2009, and again in 2010, when LucasArts released the Special Editions of the first two games in the Monkey Island series. The updated graphics are take-'em-or-leave-'em, but you can switch to the old visuals at the push of a button. More importantly, every single line of dialog has been voiced by a stellar cast (including the one and only Dominic Armato as Guybrush Threepwood). You also get a handy hint system for both games and a neat commentary track for Monkey Island 2. The voice acting alone makes these Special Editions leagues better than the original releases. And yes, I know these are two separate releases, but they both got the same level of TLC, so I'm grouping them together. Because I can.

Before you go into full-on rage mode the next time you hear about another imminent re-release, just remember these extra-polished gems. Who knows? Maybe that old game is getting a ton of great stuff to make double-dipping worth it. Do you have a favorite remaster you enjoy more than the original? Or perhaps there's one you'd like to see? Let me know in the comments!

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