When asked to write up the important showpieces of Toy Fair 2015, I took it very seriously. With 20 years of collectibles reporting behind me, I develop a sort of twitch if I'm not able to dive into the topic fully and completely. That being the case, there was only one company I needed to look to for that same level of love in creating every figure it brings to retail: NECA.

Did you catch NECA's incredible BioShock Infinite Motorized Patriots? What about the army of Gears of War figures, complete with two of the bloodiest toys ever created? NECA loves its work and it shows, and we show them our love by throwing money at them. Get ready for plenty of that impulse as I explore NECA's 2015 video game related lineup.

Series 1: Summer 2015

Nova
Illidan
Deluxe figure: Stitches

Note: Stitches pictured is actual figure size while the others are two-up prototypes.

Tyrael
Arthas to stores late Summer/early Fall.

Series 1: June 2015

Happy Sack Boy
Sad Sack Boy
Kratos from God of War

A collaborative effort between two main painters at NECA and Director of Product Development Randy Falk made these little pieces of art a reality. Poring over cut scenes, gameplay, box covers, and title screens gave them plenty of reference to use for the final figure. For instance, Rambo here comes from a couple of different looks inspired by a mash-up of the Nintendo and Sega games. The painter decides on the colors and shading and the group gives input. What's next? Randy says "a bunch more!" No spoilers, apparently.

There's more to see this year, like the for a look at just about everything on the show floor.

Remakes and remasters are a fun facet of modern gaming that allow old games to feel fresh. They give new players a chance to enjoy retro titles in the HD era, while older fans can play the titles of their youth without digging up a CRT television. But what about the opposite? What happens when more recent games get redone as pixelated adventures? That’s how you end up with demakes.

Demakes are clever tributes to the games of today that reimagine them as if they were on the consoles of bygone eras. Whether by the developers themselves or inventive fans, these jokey prequels let you celebrate your love of retro games in a whole new way. And these have to be the most clever demakes out there...

Speaking of Capcom, after Platinum’s staff left the company, the publisher went in a number of new directions. Not all of Capcom’s experiments were successful - for every Dead Rising, there was a Dark Void. The jetpack-based action game wanted to be a serious AAA contender, but it’s a dreadfully boring game, and it doesn’t have half the spirit and sense of fun as its jokey spin-off, Dark Void Zero.

Starting as an April Fool’s goof by the developers at Other Ocean Interactive, Dark Void Zero fast became a reality. The silly 2D download purported itself to be a Playchoice-10 game, because that was one of the earliest dual screen arcade machines that the DS could replicate. A mix of old Metroid, Castlevania, and Contra, this game started as a promotional tool for Dark Void proper. Now Dark Void Zero, a fictionally forgotten game, is the only thing people remember about the series.

A lot of these demakes stick with the warmer, friendlier worlds of 16 and 8-bit gaming, while Halo 2600 heads back to the truly primitive days of Atari. The aged system’s games ruled the United States in the early ‘80s, and are the gaming equivalent of cave paintings today, which is just the feel is going for. It molds Master Chief into the hero of second gen classics like Adventure or the catastrophically bad E.T. game, only you’re the one killing extraterrestrials this time.

It’s a cute way to kill your free time, but it’s also noteworthy for being more connected to the source material than most fanmade freeware. The game is credited to Ed Fries, who older gamers may recall as one of the earliest Xbox bosses. He worked hard to get developers like Bungie on the console, so that explains his connection to the Halo franchise. Halo 2600 came out a few years after he left Microsoft, proving that even if he doesn’t collect an Xbox paycheck, he couldn’t give up on the Chief.

The most recent, faux-old entry is a cute bit of fanservice from Platinum Games. The Osaka, Japan team is known for hiding dense Easter eggs in its games, and the same can be said for Platinum’s website. If you find yourself on the , you’ll be treated to a simple game that recasts company star Bayonetta as a 16-bit angel slayer in a pixelated shooter.

The Flash game obviously lacks the depth of a proper Bayonetta battle, but it’s a cute treat nonetheless. The graphics and chiptune soundtrack feel like a labor of love from fans who dig their own work. I’d happily buy a downloadable offering of a much fuller game. It has the unmistakable vibe of a SNES-era Capcom game, which isn’t surprising considering more than a few Platinum employees were with the company back then.

This demake may have the weirdest backstory and the strangest shift in gameplay styles of all. Fallout has always been a very Western-centric series, but with Fallout: New Vegas, publisher Bethesda had a clever plan for introducing the title to a new audience. When you headed to New Vegas’ , a version of Fallout would boot up that looked suspiciously like a 8-bit RPG.

Turning Fallout into Dragon Quest is a cute trick, and perhaps I could’ve soaked in more of the cleverness if I could actually read Japanese. As it stands, the pixelated world and turn-based action is an adorable way to introduce fans of JRPGs to the long-lived postnuclear roleplaying series. Hopefully this radical strategy convinced at least a few fans of old school Dragon Quest to take a trip down to New Vegas.

Now this here is a pretty passive-aggressive demake. The indie dev team behind Super Meat Boy were resistant to porting their game to iOS. Mainly because the two Meat Boy creators felt that phone games lacked any real depth, and that mobile titles were the current day equivalent of those crummy Tiger Electronics ports from decades ago. Then, to prove their point, the developers literally created a .

As the devs put it, the crappy on-screen controller is both true to iOS gaming and the terrible LCD screens of the early ‘90s. The platforming is intentionally terrible, going along with developer Tommy Refenes' belief that iOS controls of the time But, as intentionally poor as the gameplay and graphics may be, Super Meat Boy Handheld is a humorously ironic lark, and now it feels extra special because the game has since been removed from the App Store, with an actual Meat Boy iOS game coming soon.

Retro City Rampage on the surface feels more like a nostalgia-rific tribute to the games of the ‘80s and ‘90s than a true demake. A bit like a mix of Grand Theft Auto, Mario, Metal Gear, Contra, and a stoned afternoon watching Back to the Future, Retro City Rampage is also a Cinderella story for the makers of unlicensed demakes. More than a decade before its final release, RCR began as one fan’s attempt to make an NES version of GTA3.

In 2002, developer Brian Provinciano had thought it’d be fun to build his own dev tools for the NES, eventually crafting a homebrew title called Grand Theftendo. The top-down action and inventive use of graphics became a cult hit in the indie community, and Provinciano decided to go all out in expanding the cute tribute into a full game. By 2012 Retro City Rampage came out, packed with more references to Generation X than anyone can handle in one sitting.

AM2’s Virtua Fighter games broke boundaries for 3D fighters, and the series was also on the forefront of demakes. While so many other entries in here are postmodern throwbacks, the Genesis/Mega Drive version of Virtua Fighter 2 saw release around the same time as the Saturn version. And because Sega’s 16-bit machine could scarcely handle polygons when porting Virtua Racing, the Genesis version flattened the perspective to make the premiere 3D fighter .

Unless you were still a dedicated Genesis owner in 1997, you likely missed this game, but that’s no great tragedy. It’s a slightly above average 2D brawler that halfheartedly recreates most of the characters and moves of its three dimensional sibling, though the sound is atrocious. The music and SFX are the noise equivalent of pouring an exquisite wine through a dish rag. My heart goes out to any kid who asked for Virtua Fighter 2 as a gift and got this version.

I have strong nostalgia for the Game Watch handhelds of the early ‘80s, though advocating for them sounds like I’m saying, “Ditch that car for a horse and carriage. Sure, it’s out of date, but the buggy whip is outstanding.” Nintendo’s clock combos have simple action akin to the cheapest of today’s iOS games, and you can get a pretty accurate feel for them in , a unique tribute to God of War.

Invented by fans for the granddaddy of Flash gaming, Newgrounds, Greek Wicked takes the Hydra boss battle that opened up the first GoW and makes it as lo-fi as possible. The characters may be flat silhouettes, and the noise beeps ‘n boops, but it’s still a faithful recreation, right down to the QTE conclusion. And just like in classic Game Watch releases, you can beat Greek Wicked in minutes, and are expected to repeat it endlessly until your character dies. Truly, this version of Kratos is worthy of GW’s legacy.

That’s a diverse set of tributes, including a number that are more than a little official, but am I missing any? Drop some links in the comments, because I’m always ready for another dose of faux nostalgia.

Looking for more remakes? Check out .

As video games grow more sophisticated, so too do the stories they try to tell. Movies and books tell stories of the wide range of human emotion and interactions, and those moments are bound to include sexual intimacy - so why can't games get in on this action, too? There's just one problem: the uncanny valley is a real creepy place, and we've been stuck there for going on a decade now.

Video games are better at making some things look convincing than others - like cars. Cars have looked great for years. People having sex? Still looks like two Barbie dolls having their faces mashed together. Plus, it doesn't help that many game designers treat intercourse with all the subtlety and grace of a 12-year-old who just discovered his dad's hidden stash of Playboys. When you combine the two, you get this list of the most cringeworthy sex scenes in video games. Hope you have a vomit bucket handy.

This article is totally NSFW. Though you probably guessed that when you saw the word 'sex' in the headline.

Despite being filled with all sorts of grotesque humor and wanton violence and destruction, the Grand Theft Auto series has shied away from displaying graphic acts of sex (up until GTA 5's first-person mode put it all right in your face) - mostly because Americans are weird like that. Hidden away in the darkest corners of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas' code lies the fabled 'Hot Coffee' mini-game, and it's only available if you actively seek it out by modifying the game. Which… is probably for the best.

Once the right switches are flipped, successfully going on dates (which were a normal part of the San Andreas experience) will eventually lead to a moment where your girlfriend casually invites you inside for a hot cuppa joe. This is code for sex - horribly rigid, polygonal sex. As you bump and grind against your significant other, you have to move the analog stick in proper rhythm to keep your 'excitement' meter high enough. Though it's surprisingly tame in comparison to some of the others on this list (everyone remains fully clothed for the duration), it's CJ's mouth-agape expression that makes this scene the stuff of nightmares.

As someone who thinks that 'cinematic' means a heavy dose of melodrama and some thin excuse to show two bodies rubbing against each other in the night, David Cage is gonna be on this list a few times. And Fahrenheit (or Indigo Prophecy, as it was called in North America) features not one, but two cringe-worthy sex scenes. The first involves Lucas getting back with his ex-girlfriend Tiffany - complete with an interactive serenade foreplay sequence and some shitty Nickelback wannabe playing mid-coitous. Awkward, but not even close to the worst scene in the game.

No, that honor goes to the scene near the end, shortly after Lucas dies and gets resurrected. He finally meets up with Carla (the detective who's been tracking his every move) and they go from 'Hey, how ya doin'?' to banging out in an abandoned train car within a few minutes. There's no character development here at all and, oh yeah, CARLA IS HAVING SEX WITH THE UNDEAD. The fact that both characters look like animatronic puppets is actually the least disturbing thing about this whole set-up.

David Cage joint #2 checking in, showing just how tenuous a connection between two people can be before they make sweet, passionate, digital love. Ethan Mars has lost one son to a car accident already, the other's been kidnapped by the Origami Killer, and he's beginning to worry that he might be the culprit, like a doughy Tyler Durden. He's physically falling apart at the seams after going through several Saw-style trials, and is acting like a complete psychopath. But sure, let's have a sex scene because EMOTIONS.

Oh, let's not forget the shit reporter Madison Paige has had to deal with as well, considering the home-invasion-wait-it-was-all-a-dream and forced stripping she's had to do to get to this point. Both Ethan and Madison are in no psychological condition to be doing anything remotely romantic (nevermind the fact that they've basically just met), and yet, after a couple of choice dialog prompts, they're both making awkward 'O'-faces and hovering their virtual body parts over one another.

No David Cage sexcapade is complete without mentioning Beyond: Two Souls. While not nearly as graphic as the other two games (no one gets fully naked here), the premise behind the scene is is just as cringeworthy, as you're essentially a disembodied voyeur during the whole thing.

In Beyond: Two Souls, you don't just play as Jodie Holmes; you also play as a ghost named Aiden (pronounced AYE-den - yeah, I know), who is attached to Jodie via some paranormal umbilical cord. During her date with the totally unremarkable Ryan Clayton, you can either use your spooooooooky powers to mess with her dinner (move plates, throw wine glasses, and other typical poltergeisty stuff). Or you can, y'know… just sit back and watch the sexy times unfold. And by 'sexy times', I mean 'look on as Ellen Page and Eric Winters dolls move their faces together until their lips touch'. Also, if you know the plot twist regarding Aiden's relationship to Jodie, that scene just got waaaaaaaay more awkward. Hey, at least she went on an actual date this time.

BioWare games are usually fantastic adventures. But sometimes, it feels like their romance subplots were bolted in because the development team collectively realized "Well, we're making a BioWare game, so you should be able to fuck somebody, right?" Dragon Age: Origins' sex scenes feel especially tacked on, mainly because there are two different sequences in total: one if you're playing as a man, the other if you're playing as a woman. The game basically just pastes in the party member you're currently boning.

OK, sure, you want to save on time, and only creating two sets of animations helps. I get that. But they're not even that well done. Sure, the tasteful fades are nice, but each time the screen comes back in, you and your partner are in a completely different position, like they're flipping through the Kama Sutra and working their way down the list a half-second at a time. And that over-blown fantasy music swelling in the background just makes it all feel even more awkward. Throw in some stilted animations and dead eyes and you'll have none of the arousal but all of the shame when a family member/significant other walks in on it.

Suda 51 is nothing if not unpredictable. Whether he has you playing as a sexually frustrated otaku with a lightsaber, or running around making dick jokes with a talking gun named Johnson, you can be sure that whatever game he's heading up will be totally bonkers. But nothing prepared me for Gigolo mode in Killer is Dead.

In this mode, you're tasked with chatting up ladies at a bar, and ogling every inch of their bodies when they turn away. Oh, and you've also got x-ray glasses that let you see through their clothes (but not their underwear - we're keeping it classy, here). Once you've peeked long enough, you can make your move, your ultimate reward being the strangest softcore sex ever offered in a video game - complete with schmaltzy saxophone music. You're even granted an Achievement that says you've made each girl your 'prisoner in body and soul'. Yikes.

No list of awkward sex scenes would be complete without God of War making an appearance. There's nothing quite like mashing a couple buttons and wiggling some analog sticks to really simulate the joy of making an intimate connection with another human being - especially when the actual act of sex is relegated to some terrible off-screen moaning and watching a precariously placed vase get knocked around a bit.

What makes God of War so cringeworthy is that each sequel feels like it has to up the ridiculousness ante. The first game's scene felt like a silly joke that we all quickly moved on from. The second established it as a running gag (this time featuring a peeing statue whose stream grows stronger by the scene's, erm, climax). By the third game, you're practically watching a full-blown porn cartoon, as two handmaidens (who look eerily like real dolls) grope each other while they watch Kratos give Aphrodite the ride of her life. This is why no one takes video games seriously (part 34,538).

Far Cry 3 started out with such promise. Sure, the story is super dumb, with you controlling a douchey club kid's descent into the heart of darkness. But it has some moments, mostly thanks to Vaas, who's an awesome villain - until they ditch him about halfway into the game. And it's only downhill from there.

At the end of the game, you're given a choice - do you rescue your friends and leave the island, or do you kill them all and embrace your warrior instincts? If you choose the 'kill' option, you not only get to see your friends' grisly demise at your own hands, you're immediately 'rewarded' with some POV humping between you and warrior queen Citra. Then, she stabs you in the stomach, leaves you for dead, and presumably goes off to raise a little baby Skrillex fan of her own. Congratulations! You've won…? Seriously, why would you pick this option?

I hope that games are someday able to express the wide range of human expression, including that most intimate act two people can possibly share, without making players physically ill. Today is not that day. If you need me, I'll just be giving my eyes a good bleach-washing and clearing my browser history. Let's never speak of this again.

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I'm not even going to try to justify this one. You know why you're here. I'll warn you though, it's going to get pretty traumatic.

I spent most of yesterday discovering the Hell that is unleashed when you set 's search filters to "Romantic" and "M-rated". I now enjoy a hitherto unimagined level of empathy with Vietnam veterans. Whatever mind-bending spectacles and seething horrors await you over the following pages, just know that I've read the full stories that these selected quotations come from, and far more to boot. You won't believe how far the rabbit hole goes. Literally and figuratively. And just FYI, all fic extracts here are presented largely as originally written, intermittent avant garde grammar and all. The only change I've made is to censor some of the more explicit terminology. But regardless, explicit content abounds from this point forth.

Written by: The Crimson Wing

The synopsis: Kratos (from God of War) and Sam Fisher (from, er, Splinter Cell) are enjoying an ongoing, passionate affair, as a result of magic portals.

Selected 'highlights': "Hot lips collided again, glazed eyes locking. Kratos caught Sam's right hand with his left as the right hand of the lower trailed down the bare chest, caressing the jumping muscles and swirling the navel. Rough fingertips trailed over the top of the kilt, sliding in ever so slightly to brush over more bare skin, earning a grunt of acceptance from the pale male. The hand of the god that wasn't occupied began to work on the shirt of the Splinter Cell, popping open troublesome buttons with ease (actually ripping them off was more like it…) before his hand paused, lips releasing Sam's to emit a sigh, eyes fluttering closed.

"Sam grinned, brushed his fingertips over the head of his lover again to earn another sigh. Kratos's muscles spasmed all at once and he was half sitting upwards to rip off Sam's shirt when…" Ok, moving swiftly onwards...

Written by: weinercaughtinabutt

The synopsis: Doomguy (from Doom) finds his wife amorous after a long, hard day of demon-slaughter.

Selected 'highlights': "Doomguy walked towards the bedroom after a long day of work. "Ugh" he grunted after trying to open the door, it would not open. "Hold on honey!" he heard from behind the closed bedroom door. The door opened softly as his wonderful wife curled her finger toward the bedroom. As he entered the doorway, she began to close the door. Her eyes beamed "you seemed to have such a hard day, why don't I soften you up" she said seductively. Her nightgown silkingly wove her body, as it fell off it revealed her tender body. Doomguy was instantly reminded that the carpet matched the drapes, blonde." Hey, this is quite tasteful.

"As they both climaxed, her..." Er, ok then, that's enough of that.

Written by: Alpha Sam

The synopsis: An Eevee named Sparky has a problem. A Pikachu named Rex helps him with it.

Selected 'highlights': "'Well I have a … little problem…" Sparky looked away shamefully. 'Yea Spark? What is it?' the Picachu put his little paw on the Eevee's softed furred head. The Little Eevee sighed. 'Well….' Sparky spread his hind legs apart showing his..." Goddam it, Alpha Sam!

Written by: BlueRaine

The synopsis: Gears of War's Marcus takes Carmine aside to teach him some advanced RR techniques.

Selected 'highlights': "Carmine freezes, standing there on his knees like a bastard child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he looks up to Marcus for instructions, his big blue eyes concerned and as wide as dinner plates. "You've got nothing to worry about, Kiddo." Baird says in his most arrogant of voices, "I happen to be damn good at this particular sort of mission, well, not that I'm ever bad at ANY sort of mission since I'm..." Baird trails off as Marcus interrupts him in a gravelly tone, 'I'm sure you can come up with something better to do with your mouth than run it all day.'" Righty-o.

Written by: StopJustStop

The synopsis: Beat from Jet Set Radio is seduced by real-life Indie Car driver Danica Patrick. In a branch of a well-known fast-food outlet.

Selected 'highlights': "Go and pick out a piece of chicken. But don't eat it. That's for later." Danica ordered Beat. He picked out a piece of chicken. "If I can't eat it, what do I do with it?" Beat asked. 'Stick it in..." Oh god!

Written by: DeamonPrince

The synopsis: Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce (from Batman: Arkham Asylum, obviously) recounts a hitherto forgotten escapade resulting from drugging.

Selected 'highlights': "Ivy's hands were now removing Batman's cape and armor. As they kissed deeply, she rubbed her hands on his iron chest making him grunt. Batman's hands were now massaging Ivy's..." Alrighty then. Surely it isn't all like this! "Ivy broke the kiss again to drop to her hands and knees to remove Batman's belt and pants. ~No! Stop! ~ He thought as she massaged his..." Oh, yeah, it is.

Written by: NoWindForThisHole

The synopsis: Hakan goes on an exciting, globe-trotting, street-fighting adventure.

Selected 'highlights': "Hakan travelled to the jungle where he found a Chinese woman with malformed legs. 'My name is Chun-Li' she boomed. 'And you look like a fun.' You've got Spinning Bird Kick well I've got Spinning Bird D..." Well, that's an image I'm not going to shake any time soon.

Written by: bloiffy

The synopsis: Wander (yeah, from Shadow of the Colossus) must defeat the 16th Colossus in order to revive Mono. The Colossus is a hot, human-sized woman. Later, he gets a horrible surprise.

Selected 'highlights': "A tear in his trousers had unlocked his most secret treasure trove. Wanderer's cheeks flushed with blood as he was filled with embarrassment, just as his **** was flushed rigid with blood due to his undeniable arousal. It stood, his True holy sword, jutting forth, pointing skyward. His gaze fell upon it, and he saw that indeed a glowing light shone forth from his vas deferens, indicating this new challenge's glowing weak spot. Her w..." No, no, no--that isn't cool. And the next bit, featuring Agro the horse? Words fail me.

Written by: irishileana

The synopsis: Months after her escape from Aperture, Portal's Chell is troubled by unusual dreams.

Selected 'highlights': "Her left hand had moved from Chell's shoulder, making the short distance to her..." Chell's partner in this fic is GLaDOS. Be aware of that. We need go no further.

Written by: babethecooltomboy

The synopsis: Tails is in love with Cream the Rabbit, but can't bring himself to tell her. Then one night, he runs into her after getting smashed on tequila.

Selected 'highlights': "Tails was a smart and had study a lot about sex..." No! No, I'm not even touching this one. Just no.

So, thank God that's over, right? I don't even know what to say here, to be honest. But, er, yeah. This was certainly a feature that I wrote and that you've just read, and those fics are real and were written by real humans. Draw your own conclusions. I can't even feel feelings any more. And if you think the previous was bad, know that what you've just seen were the very edited highlights of the nicest bits of the nicest stuff I read.

And while you recover, why not check out some of our less mind-crushing Week of Love content? Try a go.