Almost any premise can be the basis for an entertaining video game. Undesirable tasks like waiting tables or mopping up icky fluids are made by Diner Dash and Viscera Cleanup Detail, respectively. Euro Truck Simulator 2, which might sound like prescription-grade sleep medication to some people, is consistently among the most-played games on Steam. No matter how peculiar the concept, clever game design can turn even the most ordinary real-world activity into virtual fun.

Except when it can't. Some game ideas should never make it past the spit-balling phase, as any attempt to turn them into digitized amusement can only end in tears. That hasn't stopped some developers from trying, God bless 'em, but the results pretty much validate every cynical thought that pops into your head when you hear the quick pitch. These seven games (on seven different systems, no less) tried to make the best of an idea that some boardroom executive miraculously green-lit. But right from the start, these core concepts were doomed to fail.

If packing a can of pepper-spray doesn't feel like enough, learning how to physically defend yourself from an attacker is a great way to walk more confidently through the world. Usually, this involves learning from a trained instructor, who can show you exactly how to deflect incoming strikes and protect yourself from harm. What you shouldn't do is expect to feel prepared to fend off an assault when your instructor is an unfeeling game disc and a Kinect sensor that can vaguely detect how you're moving.

Calling Self-Defense Training Camp a game feels like a misnomer, since the situation it's attempting to prepare you for is deadly serious. But in a real-world scenario, the basic, methodical movements you have to make for the Kinect to register them won't dissuade an attacker, unless they have a deathly fear of artistic expression and mistake you for an interpretive dancer. Here's a better idea: Leave the comfort of your living room and spend some extra money so you can attend a real self-defense class and get some actual training.

The eye-straining search for Waldo (or Wally, as you UK readers will know him) has always delighted children, because the imagery in these picture books borders on sensory overload. Picking out the striped-shirted explorer from a massive crowd of people is only half of the fun, because no matter where you look at Waldo's surroundings, there's some kind of goofy spectacle or visual pun to take in. You could spend hours gazing at the same two-page spread and not see everything it has to offer.

Unfortunately, trying to recreate such jam-packed pictures on an 8-bit system just doesn't work. Finding the NES version of Waldo takes about two seconds, since all those colorful background characters have been replaced by pixelated stick figures. That could be construed as a good thing, since the default mode slaps you with a time limit, but the scenes are so visually bland that you'll want to be whisked away from them long before your ten minutes are up.

Dance Dance Revolution, whether it's in arcades or at home on a dance pad, is great. It's light, physically active fun when you're first starting out, and a rigorous workout once you're ready to crank up the difficulty. Its total focus on lower-body footwork might not make you the world's greatest dancer, but tapping arrows in time to catchy J-Pop songs is a blast. Yet somehow, porting an experience where your feet are stomping and jumping onto a giant controller just doesn't translate all that well to a handheld.

DDR on GBC at least tries to make the most out of a less-than-optimal situation. The chiptune arrangements of existing songs might be harsher on the ears, but at least they're familiar to fans. Your groovin' avatar is limited to a few basic animations, but it's better than empty space. And if you want to make your fingers feel like legs, a clip-on arrow pad peripheral is included. But it begs the same question as wearing shoes for gloves: Why take an experience based on feet and try to make it work for your hands?

When the Xbox One first launched, fans of fighting game had to make a choice. They could go with , a Kinect 2.0 game that forgoes time-tested inputs like 'arcade sticks' or 'buttons' for unreliable motion controls. You can probably guess which one did better.

The idea of a motion-controlled fighting game is sound, since it'd be great to physically throw a punch and see the on-screen character react accordingly. But because that level of motion-detecting tech doesn't exist in the world of gaming just yet, Fighter Within opts to link moves to completely incongruent poses, like crossing your arms to initiate a throw. Fighter Within might fail its ambitious intent, but I'll give it this: despite some uninspired character designs, it certainly looks fantastic.

I feel for Konami on this one. When you're trying to devise ways to sell more DDR dance pads for the Wii, there's not a whole lot to go with besides tiring track and field events or the simple act of walking in place. Regrettably, Walk It Out chooses to go with the latter. By marching in time to generic music, you can do such riveting things as taking a stroll around a nondescript neighborhood, or moseying through a polygonal park.

Whether you're using a WiiFit board, a DDR pad, or just the Wiimote/Nunchuk combo, the result is the same: you, walking in place, wondering if this was the best thing you could've done with your money. There's no demo for Walk It Out on the Wii Shop Channel, but if you want an idea of how it plays, simply stand up, turn on some music, and start moving your legs up and down. You're now doing for free what Walk It Out charges $29.99 for.

Setting up beer pong is pretty straightforward. All you need is a long, flat surface, some cups, a few cans of beer, and people to play with. Beer Pong: the video game has none of these things, attempting to recreate them with a PlayStation Move controller and a TV. If you try to make this substitution at a social gathering, you've just committed the biggest party foul of them all. Now, if it was just a matter of finicky, unreliable motion controls failing to simulate the simple aim-and-toss, that would be one thing. But it gets so much worse.

Since there isn't a Sony-approved peripheral for administering alcohol to the player's bloodstream, Beer Pong! tries to simulate inebriation by adding a brownish tinge and nausea-inducing camera movement to the festivities. And because this is a game aimed at those wild and crazy college kids, your plastic-looking avatar can attempt to 'distract' opponents by adjusting their bikini top or squeezing their crotch. Playing Beer Pong! defeats the purpose of beer pong: You won't get drunk, you won't make friends, and you won't have fun.

Think about all the times you've had to reluctantly use a seedy public restroom. The putrid smells, the abrasive toilet paper, the indecipherable (yet somehow threatening) graffiti. Is that an experience you'd want to simulate? Toilet Tycoon hopes the answer is 'Yes', because every aspect of this sim that no one asked for involves filthy lavatories in some form. Your primary goal is to rise to the top of a toilet empire (I wasn't aware such things existed) by beating out your many rivals (again, I had no idea) with the optimal lids, flushers, and bowls in each stall.

As with any spreadsheet simulation game, you'll have to weigh costs and benefits in your careful selection of loos and latrines if you hope to succeed. You can also pay poor slobs to go and messily vomit all over the competition's facilities, or research upgrades in what can only be described as an alchemy outhouse. But in the end, all the bells and whistles just come back to the core concept of playing a game full of grody bathrooms.

Those seven games seemingly prove the old adage about the road to hell being paved with good intentions. Have you had the misfortune of playing any of 'em? Or maybe you'd prefer a rousing game of Pet Pals: Animal Doctors (pictured above), which asks you to zoom way, way too close to the problem areas of injured, suffering, sometimes bloodied animals. Sound off in the comments below!

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If you're a series fan, you know exactly what you're in for with 's slate of upcoming DLC. That's not really a bad thing, mind - the heavyweight shooter series knows how to make a map pack sing, with oodles of new score streaks and timed events to keep players guessing. Not to mention the indispensable Exo Zombies mode, which furthers CoD's fine tradition of cheesy undead survival... this time, with super-powered exoskeletons.

As per usual, each pack will hit Xbox One and Xbox 360 first, with release on all the other platforms expected about a month later. Each of the four packs is available on its own for $14.99/£11.59 or as part of the $49.99/£34.99 season pass - which includes a few other bonuses such as the Atlas Gorge map and early access to DLC weapons. Click on for more details on each pack as we get them, and make sure to check back in as the season rolls on!

Advanced Warfare's Ascendance DLC map pack, set to go live on Xbox 360 and Xbox One on March 31, is all about getting vertical - kind of like those old Mountain Dew commercials, but with a high-tech grappling hook instead of a sailboard. Players can use the new gadget to zoom around Perplex, Site 244, Climate, and Chop Shop, though it doesn't sound like it will work anywhere else.

Ascendance also adds the new OHM directed energy LMG/shotgun hybrid for use in competitive matches (which Xbox season pass owners are already using to shoot through walls) and its customized variant. Meanwhile, the second episode of the four-player co-op Exo Zombies campaign takes John Malkovich and company to the outskirts of an Atlas facility, where they'll (hopefully) overcome new zombie hordes with a unique selection of traps and weapons. Click on for screens of all the maps and details on previous DLC.

You want more competitive maps? Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare's Havoc DLC has more competitive maps. Four more, to be exact: Core, Urban, Drift, and Sideshow, and you can click on to see screenshots and brief synopses for each one. But what good is a bunch of new stages without some new guns to carve them up? Thankfully, Havoc also drops in the AE4 directed energy assault rifle and its customized variant, the AE4 Widowmaker.

Advanced Warfare's first DLC pack also includes the first episode of the Exo Zombies campaign, which sees four civilian employees of the Atlas corporation struggling to survive against an outbreak among the company's elite soldiers. And yes, it amps up the now-standard camp factor, complete with face-captured performances from John Malkovich, Bill Paxton, Rose McGowan, and Jon Bernthal that will leave you asking "Kevin Spacey who?" It's now available on all platforms except for PC, where it will launch on March 3.

That's all we know about Advanced Warfare's DLC plans so far, but we'll update this article with all the details on Havoc, Ascendance, Supremacy, and Reckoning as we get them. Until then, what are you most looking forward to? Let us know in the comments!

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Final Fantasy is one of those rare constants in the gaming world, with every year seeing another release for the RPG standard bearer. And while the numbered entries in the series get increasingly experimental, it's the Final Fantasy spin-offs that often allow Square Enix to really flex its creative muscle. From Final Fantasy Legend all the way up to , spin-offs are where FF gets experimental, with varying results that simply beg to be ranked.

At the outset, we disqualified possible entries like Chrono Trigger and Bravely Default, because true spin-offs must contain actual FF elements, be it characters, settings, or monsters. From there, our catalog included genres as diverse as fighters, kart racers, and rhythm games, all connected by a devotion to Moogles and Chocobos. All have now been ranked for all time (until we update it again), so read on to see where your favorite side quest ended up...

Looking back on its mid-’90s release, perhaps fans were a little too harsh on Mystic Quest. Released on the SNES in place of the more challenging Final Fantasy 5, Mystic Quest is meant for western gamers might be unfamiliar with the basic concepts of role-playing games. All these years later, when Mystic Quest isn’t standing in FF5’s shadow, this modest adventure isn't so bad.

From a design team led by veterans of the SaGa series, Mystic Quest is undeniably stripped down to the RPG basics, but it gets those basics right. If Final Fantasy’s massive exposure in the west hadn’t made it redundant, it would still function as a fine primer for the series, and RPGs in general. Meanwhile, the soundtrack remains essential, and is arguably the most underrated in FF history. Should you never pick up the game, at least give the music a listen.

3D brawlers like Tekken and Virtua Fighter were in vogue in the 32-bit era, so even RPG publishers like Square did their best to cash-in. FF's owner started a partnership with developer Dream Factory to helm the imperfect Tobal series, and the teams were looking for a fresh start with Ehrgeiz. The wild fighter has a weird cast of characters and some projectile combat to make it stand out, but its enhanced PlayStation port has a secret ingredient: Most of Final Fantasy 7's cast is playable.

In the late ‘90s, few games were bigger than Final Fantasy 7, but Square steadfastly avoided exploiting its popularity with FF crossovers. Bringing Cloud, Sephiroth, Yuffie, Tifa, Zack, and Vincent into the wacky arenas of Ehrgeiz was certainly unexpected. Ehrgeiz hasn't aged the best, but there's a charm to its manic, unbalanced combat, and said charm extends to its dungeon-crawling/brawling hybrid Quest mode. If you can forgive its dated looks, it's a fine distraction for FF completionists.

No series has truly 'made it' in terms of spin-offs until it has a kart racer. Chocobo Racing finally made Final Fantasy’s karting wishes come true in 1999 by having the series’ signature chubby bird head to the raceway. The yellow fowl competes against other beasts like Mog, Bahamut, and Cactuar, with FF8's Squall and Parasite Eve's Aya sneaking in as unlockable kart enthusiasts to fill out the roster.

Square does an admirable job channeling Mario Kart 64 and Crash Team Racing, even adding some signature Final Fantasy locations, spells, and abilities to shake things up. However, using sprite character models that clash with its polygonal world means Chocobo Racing isn't all that modern. Enjoying it now makes you wish Square Enix hadn't cancelled a 3DS sequel. Still, blasting around in the Chocobo's rocket boots and hitting competitors with Firaga will always be a little fun, so the classic is worth searching out.

Another of FF's cutesy side games, this time the doll-sized Chocobo goes underground to search out his fortune in an expansive series of random caves. The iconic bird is accompanied by a brand new Cid, a young man out to collect treasure so he can build - you guessed it - an airship. There's also a ton of amnesia, just to check off another Final Fantasy trope. Made in the famously hardcore mystery dungeon style, each step the Chocobo takes is matched by the unseen enemies, which adds a lot of planning to the action-strategy mix.

What puts this one over the Chocobo's previous mystery dungeon game on DS? The colorful Wii graphics help, but it also separates itself from other Roguelikes by borrowing the core FF job system. Cid and Chocobo can switch up abilities, and the dungeons adapt to reflect that, adding to the dense game's replayability. Plus, there are few things cuter than seeing a Chocobo dressed as a Black Mage. The 2008 game is the last of the Fables sub-series, marking the end of an all too brief collection of all ages FF games.

This is one of the Chocobo's simplest titles, but that doesn't mean this FF spin-off should be overlooked. Arriving on the Nintendo DS when the touch controls still felt novel, Chocobo Tales follows the title character's quest for magical story books that expand into numerous minigames. Usually the bottom screen recreates some classic FF actions, from casting magic to steering in a Chocobo race.

There's also a card game mechanic that works almost as well as the touch controls, and the lovely child's book art design helps to cover the occasional misfires. Chocobo Tales also offers up multiplayer variations on some of its best minigames, making it a rare FF treat that can be shared with more than one person. If you're tired of the FF's dark and brooding side, Chocobo Tales satisfies like a potion in a boss battle.

FF gets more and more complicated with each entry, and while innovation is welcome, sometimes you're nostalgic for a nocent time. You know, with less existential dread and more saving princesses and crystals. The 4 Heroes of Light is just such a throwback, drawing inspiration from the earliest FF titles, while streamlining many of the best parts and adding new facets to the combat.

There's the Crown system, a clever, hat-based approach to the standard FF job system, and the Boost mechanic to turn-based combat means fights take a bit more planning. The character design apes the spare style of FF's DS remakes to great effect, and the music is grand enough to fit its legacy. The only major negative to the game is that it's overshadowed by its spiritual successor, Bravely Default.

One of the newest entries on the list, Type-0 is a game that seemed like it would never be available to English-speakers. Released late on the PSP, Sony's portable was dead by the time Type-0 came to the system in Japan, dooming it to stay unlocalized forever. But the HD port to PS4/Xbox One makes dreams come true, so consider it a gift even if the militaristic game isn't perfect.

In case you've yet to see our , the game's biggest issues are some obtrusive menus, finicky camera, and merely tolerable voice acting, but there are definitely some positives to be found. The tone is darker and bloodier than any FF before it, including an opening segment where a bleeding Chocobo is executed by soldiers. The grittier feel and intense circumstances win out most of the time, and it has a singular style many recent FF games lack.

Final Fantasy 12 is a very divisive title for the fanbase, offering a plot that's either compellingly complex when exploring a massive world, or annoyingly obtuse and lacking in a clear main character. Strange, then, that the late-era PS2 game would see a slimmed down spin-off on the DS of all systems. Stranger still that the side story is essentially a real time strategy game.

Taking place midway through FF12, Revenant Wings also has Vaan as the leading man, but with the decidedly less messy goal of being a successful airship captain. FF12's battle system is helpfully streamlined with RTS mechanics, allowing for armies of the signature beasts to be at your command. And the game’s chapter structure makes it easier to play on the go. Revenant Wings is just the type of light epilogue its heavy predecessor needs.

This fighting game is officially pronounced Dissidia Duodecim, but don't hold that odd titling against it. This is a dream crossover for longtime fans, bringing together the beloved leads from almost every FF entry, from Cecil to Lightning and everyone in between. And the story does its best to service the fans who've always dreamed of seeing Cloud and Squall smash each other with their ridiculous swords. (That’s sounds dirtier than we mean.)

The action does its best to keep up with the premise, even when the gameplay gets more stat-based than a brawler like it requires. [012] is also both a remake and a prequel to the first Dissidia, making it the ultimate Final Fantasy fighting game, for now anyway. If you never checked out this celebration of everything FF, it's worth downloading to your Vita - or PSP, if you can find it.

In 1996, the Final Fantasy series officially left Nintendo's systems and went exclusively to PlayStation. For fans that grew up with FF on the SNES, it was a sad turn of events, and it made the eventual homecoming all the sweeter. But Crystal Chronicles changes many of the series most established elements. It ditches active time battles and solo exploration, replacing them with speedy teamwork and innovative dual screen play.

That innovation comes at a cost, namely three Game Boy Advances and three cords to plug them into your GameCube to make for ideal co-op. Predating tablets, the DS, and Wii U Gamepad, all but one player control their character with a GBA, using the extra screen to manage attacks and items. If you have all the tech, exploring the miasma together makes for some engrossing couch co-op, and none of its sequels could top the original's unique approach.

For a very brief period of time, WiiWare seemed like the hot place to publish short-but-sweet games. Before Square Enix abandoned the platform like most third parties, it released two surprisingly fun tower defense games as Wii downloadables. Spinning off from Crystal Chronicles - itself a spin-off - My Life as a Darklord is slightly better than its predecessor, mainly thanks to the darker edge of playing from the bad guy's perspective.

Set right after FFCC: My Life as a King, you play as Mira, the new Darklord who commands a kingdom's worth of monsters. Would-be heroes keep invading her tower, so you set up special traps on the fly to keep them from reaching the dark crystal. Fighting wave after wave will keep your attention, as will the nefarious thrill of playing as a big bad in an FF title. My Life as a Darklord is perhaps the best original game WiiWare ever saw - too bad you can't download it from anywhere else.

Did anyone expect a team-up between Final Fantasy and Disney to be one of the most popular series in modern gaming? Kingdom Hearts is just the action-RPG to prove it possible, and while later entries may ease up on the FF content, the original game features Cloud, Aerith, Squall, and most of FF10's cast in major roles. Their more complex emotions and backgrounds deepen the world of Kingdom Hearts in ways Mickey and the gang’s unending positivity can’t.

Beyond the confusing sight of Aerith talking to Donald, the story of Kingdom Hearts is a heartfelt one of love, loss, and friendship. Sora must master the Keyblade to find his best friends, and he'll have to vanquish almost every notable Disney villain to do it. The core FF titles that follow adapt some of Kingdom Heart’s combat, and Kingdom Hearts’ visuals and soundtrack hold up well in the recent HD rerelease. Kingdom Hearts has grown into something much bigger, but it all began here, as an excellent Final Fantasy spin-off.

One of FF’s most consistent features is its music, with composers like Nobuo Uematsu, Masashi Hamauzu, and more crafting some of gaming’s most harmonious songs. If you were ever going to make a spin-off rhythm game, it’d need to be massive to soak in just how many wonderful tunes are in the series’ catalogue. The more than 200 tracks included show Curtain Call is just such a game.

Virtually every FF title, spin-off or otherwise, is represented in Theatrhythm: Curtain Call, all with at least a stage or two exploring a given game’s best moments. More than any other release on this list, Theatrhythm: Curtain Call is the most succinct recognition of Final Fantasy’s legacy, while also being a quality music game in its own right. Tapping along with your stylus is catchy fun, making another listening of ‘Eyes on Me’ feel special all over again.

Crisis Core is a prequel to one of the most beloved Final Fantasy games ever, but rather than focus on its main characters, it tells the story of the mysterious Zack Fair from SOLDIER. A friend of Cloud’s, and Aerith’s first boyfriend, Zack only made a brief appearance in the original game. His past was ready to be explored, and we're glad Square Enix finally got around to it. Crisis Core fleshes out Zack's history, and creates a poignant story that’s very much worth telling.

A contrast to the moody leading men of the series, Zack is likeable, friendly and easy to connect with, which makes the inherent tragedy much more heartbreaking. The game looks gorgeous on PSP, with memorable cutscenes and great gameplay. A fast-paced action-RPG, it is designed to be played in short bursts, delivering what fans have been waiting for... Well, short of a full-on remake of of Final Fantasy 7.

Final Fantasy Tactics seems like a potential misfire. It cuts out the fancy graphics and much of the storytelling, and triples the amount of stats, a potential recipe for boredom. But instead of putting players to sleep, Tactics is a cult success, and at launch FFT made the hardcore genre more famous than ever to western gamers. Despite some excellent sequels, the original and its remake are still kings of the isometric battlefield.

The demanding turn-based combat keeps you saying ‘just one more’ over and over again in each grid-based map, but the true main event is the Job system, which uses Final Fantasy 5’s masterful class mechanic, beefing it up with an even more diverse set of skills and abilities. Assigning jobs to the massive roster of characters allows an incredible amount of team customization that consistently rewards trial and error. Later sequels try too hard to mix things up, making the originator not just the best in the sub series, but the best spin-off in Final Fantasy history.

Those are the best side games that FF has ever seen, but what are your feeling on the rankings? I'm sure you want to just dive into the comments and tell us how right we are. Well, get on it already!

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Amateur chiropractors of Earthrealm rejoice! in MKX, but with Friendship and Babality finishers currently nowhere to be seen, we could do with a bit more variety.

What these fight-ending 'konclusions' really need is a good old kick up the bum. Metaphorically speaking, of course. No-one needs to see Sub-Zero's anus collapsing via slow-mo x-ray. Give us some madcap variety, NetherRealm! Crack open a dictionary, thumb your way through, find something that the MK announcer would love to utter - preferably ending in 'ity' - and have at it! That's what this big list is all about. More exciting climaxes than an evening spent at Hustler HQ… Enjoy.

Player One hands Player Two a bowling ball entirely composed of soap slivers and signed photos of MC Hammer, served in a man's hat.

Player One dons the costume of a Southern Bavarian pig farmer, proceeds to perform a lengthy and poorly choreographed interpretive dance number.

Player One treats his enemy to a nice day out at the wildlife park, telling him it's a petting zoo…

Player One straps his foe with a lifelike Thomas Edison mask, before summoning up the vengeful spirit of Nikola Tesla. Let the genital-shocking shenanigans begin!

Player One invites their opponent to a swanky new club, but 'forgets' to add them to the guest list.

Player One wheels out an old CRT TV and a Nintendo 64. They opt to settle their differences with a single game of GoldenEye. No Oddjobs.

Player One can't quite seem to advance up the 'living tower'. *winking intensifies*

Player One forces Player Two to perform several humiliating rituals. It later turns out that 'Tau Psi Alpha Tau' isn't a real frat at all.

Player One offers Player Two a place to stay, at least until he can get back on his feet. Also, Player One just sheared him in half.

Player One dons nondescript waiter's garb, before offering his opponent a tasty crab puff. Said puff is stuffed with nitroglycerin.

Player One breaks supersonic wind on their opponent, putrefying them instantly.

In a shocking twist, Player One announces Player two's real parentage live on TV, Jerry Springer-style. They embrace, sobbing.

With no unique weapons to hand, Player One manages to MacGyver together a chainsaw out of toothpicks and old shoes.

Player Two is forced to decide distinguish butter from I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, a decision that ultimately renders him quite mad.

Player One's lawyer takes a good, long look at the MK tourney's laundry list of health and safety violations. The 'kontest' is promptly closed down. Shao Khan is arrested, and later shanked to death in the prison block showers.

Player One morphs into Chris Pratt. All is made well.

Player One summons up a gigantic blender, before dicing their opponent into a nutritious gore chunk smoothie.

Player One rounds up the old babality gang and convinces them to eviscerate Player Two. Authorities later find the victim with a baby rattle implanted in his windpipe.

Player One destroys Player Two in the most modern way possible, by releasing several naked pics of them onto Instagram.

Player One forces Player Two to oil him up in preparation for the big bodybuilding meet. Many awkward glances are exchanged.

Player One meticulously recreates the Christmas manger scene, before stuffing Player Two into the crib, weighing him down with gifts of frankincense and myrrh, and finally filling him up with hot liquid gold. It's a Game of Thrones golden shower!

Player One streaks across the stage in nothing but their birthday suit. Player Two giggles and/or ogles, as appropriate.

Player One force-feeds the opponent a la The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror. Player Two promptly explodes.

Player One runs around the arena honking like a crack-addled goose.

Player One clambers up one of those evil-eyed trees overlooking the ladies' changing rooms. "Got wood?", the tree asks the 'kombatant', before eating said pervert alive.

Player Two becomes Player One's all new manservant, fetching grapes, bathing his sores and acting as a human footstool.

Player One tears into Player Two with the vitriolic vocab of a lifelong bus station loony. Most of it, naturally, does not make sense.

Player One rides his defeated enemy into a Scrooge Mcduck-like ocean of 'koins', using him like a surfboard until the hard, metallic waves eventually scrape his front off.

Player Two narrowly avoids having his thorax ripped out thanks to train delays. Player One, having arrived for the fight on time, tries to call him seven or eight times, before giving up and buggering off back home.

Player One accepts the blame for the whole silly argument, and the two 'kompetitors' skip off into the sunset.

Player One forgets why he came here, and what exactly he was doing. Player Two begins humming the tune to 'A long way to Tipperary'.

Player One tears open Player two's abdomen, revealing a badly swollen appendix. Player Two has it promptly removed, and everyone goes for ice cream.

[DESCRIPTION REDACTED]

Player One pays Player Two a heartfelt complement. They hug it out.

Player One reveals to Player Two why he cannot perform a babality.

Player One recalls that time Player Two asked how many quarters there were in a basketball game, much to the amusement of the assembled 'kast' of 'kharacters'. Player Two slowly ambles off home for a good cry.

Player One arranges a marriage for Player Two, despite the fact that Player Two definitely, properly loves someone else. Probably someone lowborn yet dashing. It's the plotline to every period drama ever made. But with more spines.

Player One smugly lectures Player Two on the benefits of going green. Player Two opts to compost himself.

Referees rush the stage to announce that Player Two is wearing the wrong sort of shoe grips, or friendship bracelets, or maybe underpants, and is therefore disqualified.

Player One hams it up like a young Laurence Olivier, performing one of those twirly, ever-so-slightly camp, and completely bloodless death scenes from the 1950s.

Player One requests one of the lesser-known System of a Down tracks, but the bone-idle DJ just plays this instead. Player Two is really more of an indie guy and so decides to implode his own skull rather than listen to it.

Player One treats Player Two to an all-expenses spa day, before drowning him in the Jacuzzi.

Player One invites Player Two to "Get over here". Player Two declines, saying he has homework, but Zack Chadly totally sees him at the mall later that day!

Player One's dungeon spike dealer said he'd have the stuff sorted by Tuesday, and today's Thursday! Uppercutting your enemies to their deaths just isn't the same without a little shish kebab action at the bottom.

Player One attempts to disembowel Player Two with a wheel of cheese and squeaky toy hammer.

Player One confronts Player Two about his unpaid gas and electricity bills. Player Two assures Player One that he'll have the money for him by next Friday, but Player One knows that game. It's the same old bullshit he tried to pull last week. Player One asks Player Two if he enjoyed utilising all that free power, then proceeds to pump him full of premium-rate gas and electricity.

"Then have all the power you can handle!", he screams, laughing maniacally…

Taking a page out of the Covenant's book, Player One 'glasses' their opponent with superhot plasma, then uses their newly-reflective remains to check themselves out. Blue Steel, baby!

Player One just shuffles around awkwardly, failing to meet the gaze of his much cooler opponent. Then he goes home.

Player One dazzles the opponent with all manner of amazing tricks - simultaneously solving a Rubik's cube, preparing the perfect cappuccino, and writing an Oscar-worthy screenplay - all whilst playing the piano, trumpet and xylophone at the same time. Player Two exits the stage to consider how utterly shit he is in comparison.

Player One performs a series of increasingly lewd gestures, forcing their prudish opponent - with hand to forehead, and monocle dropping from eye socket - to collapse to the ground with a gasp. The indignity!

Oh, the endless, excruciating possibilities! To rip any of these suggestions to shreds and/or add some of your own, head on down to the comments section below.

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You've finally done it. You've written your 1200-page game bible, describing all 150 painstakingly detailed levels, 20 different boss fights, and an overarching plot that spans generations. Now comes the part where you actually, y'know, make it. You've got two years to do so, and your publisher's last 'sure-fire' project just got sent through the critical meat grinder, so your budget's been chopped in half. Aaaaaand half of your top-level staff has quit in frustration. Hope you're not married to that hours-long multi-path ending you were planning on implementing.

There are lots of reasons certain scenes get cut, whether it's due to a lack of time, hardware constraints, or the developers simply biting off more than they can chew. Sometimes, the cuts go unnoticed, and the rest of the game goes on without a hitch. Some other games don’t cut enough, continuing to clumsily refer to these now non-existent events, leaving you wondering just what the hell everyone is talking about. And a surprising amount of these cuts are very much last-minute changes, as evidenced by their content’s persisting but locked-off presence on the final retail disc. It’s a weird old mix of stuff, alright. Ever wondered what could have been? Check out these seven amazing scenes that were cut from your favorite video games.

The Ghostbusters game is famous for two things: letting players act out their favorite moments from the classic films and also for not sucking like nearly every other licensed video game. It's pure fanservice, letting you run amok in a hotel, library, sewers, and more, generally destroying everything in sight on your quest to bust as many ghosts as possible. One particular scene was supposed to take you through the streets of Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, but was inexplicably cut.

As you can see from , the level design and crowd AI were both in place, and if you go digging around on the disc, you'll even find some cutscenes that were supposed to take place during this parade. Had the level been included, you would have captured ghosts while riding on a float as huge balloons filled the sky. In the final game, the mayor even makes specific reference to how the Ghostbusters have wrecked "his library, museum, and parade," despite the parade never actually making it in. It's a shame, because this level sounds awesome.

Saints Row: The Third's story, while full of hilarious sequences and lots and lots of crotch punching, feels a bit lacking, and some details from the actually shed some light on as to why. According to the guide, there were several different drafts and details that changed over the course of development. At one point, Johnny Gat was supposed to be captured instead of killed, characters like Viola and Kiki would have joined the Saints, and Shaundi was actually supposed to be off gallivanting on a reality show in Mexico.

But the best scene that was left on the editing room floor? After the bridge to Stilwater is destroyed, there was supposed to be a cutscene featuring a -style song routine as the Saints attempt to raise money to rebuild the city. I'm actually a bit saddened now, knowing that this was supposed to exist. It would have been hilarious.

A playthrough of Shadow of the Colossus will take an average player anywhere from 8-10 hours. Not too shabby for a game based solely around traversing a barren landscape filled with 16 boss fights. Now imagine that total time nearly tripled, as developer Fumito Uedo originally envisioned as many as 48 colossi available to conquer.

Realizing that 48 hulking beasts was probably a bit too much for the PlayStation 2 to handle, Ueda cut the roster down to a more manageable 24. due to budget constraints and other limitations, with their only existence confirmed by their presence in the game's artbook. Among the cut colossi are a massive daddy longlegs, a phoenix, a griffon, and even a monkey. While those seem interesting enough, I'm actually even more curious about the other 24 colossi that were planned. The sheer number of them would have lead to some absolutely bonkers concepts, most of them completely unlike the 16 we actually got.

Between fighting space pirates, battling those annoying metroids, and otherwise coping with the deadly flora and fauna of Tallon IV, Samus certainly has her hands full during her first 3D outing. Hell, she even comes across a cyborg version of perpetual thorn-in-her-side Ridley, who attacks her during the penultimate boss fight. But Ridley wasn't supposed to be the only major villain making their GameCube debut. If things had gone to plan, Samus would have come across a giant, three-dimensional version of Super Metroid's Kraid.

Referred to as by fans, this overweight lizard was modelled, textured, and intended to be used as a boss fight in the Phazon Mines on Tallon IV. A large portion of his level was prototyped and implemented, but would have delayed Metroid Prime's release date. Unfortunately, he was deemed 'unimportant' to the overall experience, and thus got the axe. Maybe he'll finally get his due in a high-definition sequel? Fingers crossed.

is a long time to wait for any game, let alone for the highly anticipated followup to instant classic BioShock. And a lot can change over five years, as different modes and areas are created because they sound cool and dropped when they don't work. If you compare the BioShock Infinite we got in 2013 to the preview trailers shown in the years leading up to release, you can see some pretty spectacular moments that never actually made it into the final release.

In this from 2010, Booker's companion Elizabeth seems to have way more power at her disposal than she does in the actual 2013 release. She's not only opening tears to hidden weapon caches, but she's also summoning rain clouds for him to use as a conductor for his electricity hands. There's even an exciting and protracted bridge battle, complete with dramatic appearance by the intimidating Songbird - all of which was cut from the final game. While this trailer is likely more proof-of-concept than actual gameplay, it's still intriguing that many of the ideas and locations shown off prior to release were either changed or removed completely.

If you've played Metal Gear Solid 2, you've probably noticed that the lead-up to the final boss feels a bit… truncated. Raiden goes from standing on top of Arsenal Gear in the middle of the ocean to battling Solidus on top of a ruined building in New York City within a few awkward edits. So what happened?

Well, there was supposed to be a lengthy sequence showing Arsenal Gear smashing its way through the New York skyline, knocking into the Statue of Liberty (which would wind up on Ellis Island after the dust settled). All told, the out-of-control Gear should have crushed half of Manhattan, but all of it was cut in the wake of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. While it's a shame that the removal caused such a jarring disconnect between the aforementioned scenes, it would have been in incredibly poor taste if Metal Gear Solid 2 had shipped with this scene intact, mere months after the attacks.

It's no secret that Knights of the Old Republic 2 shipped unfinished. Pushed up against a looming deadline, developer Obsidian had to make a hard decision and cut swaths of content just to get the game out the door. It hacked off reams of character interactions and dialog, removed locations like a droid production plant and an entire extra planet, and even cut large sections of the ending. The final product left players confused and incomplete. Something was obviously missing.

Thankfully, many of the related files were still included on the game's discs, despite not being accessible during the course of normal play. have since taken these files, prettied them up, and fitted them back into the main game, including that awesome sequence in the aforementioned droid factory. Bring that misanthropic HK-47 droid with you, and either save and recruit the robots found within, or blow them all up. And the ending? Well, there actually is one now. Finally; closure.

No one likes to cut their favorite feature or tear-jerking scene, but sometimes difficult decisions need to be made in the name of actually shipping a product. Luckily, many of these scenes get to live on thanks to rereleases and player-created mods. What are some of your favorite deleted scenes? Let me know in the comments!

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In the olden days, your first time playing a game rated M for Mature was a big deal. Maybe it was the fact that, like getting your driver's permit or being able to vote, the power to buy a game deemed too bloody or scandalous for younger eyes felt like a true coming-of-age moment. Maybe your first M-rated game was like a secret hidden from your parents' prying eyes, or smuggled to you by a hip relative like clandestine tickets to an R-rated movie.

Now you've got all these kids getting Call of Duty as a present on their eighth birthday, or playing Five Nights at Freddy's and skipping those 'ESRB' or 'PEGI' things altogether. It's not like it's illegal for parents to buy age-inappropriate games for their children - but there was a time when booting up something M-rated as a youngster had a certain mystique about it, with the sense that you were suddenly ready for anything (except maybe those ). So, which gory, gratuitous experience ushered you into gaming adulthood?

It was wonderful fun growing up around the founding of the ESRB, because even though game ratings existed, parents didn't notice or particularly care about them yet. That's how my friends and I got our young hands on Perfect Dark at the tender age of 11. GoldenEye's weird cousin with a head for alien conspiracy theories, Perfect Dark made us feel like we were getting away with something every time we played it. You could blow people up, blood would splash across the wall whenever you shot a guy, and sometimes enemies would call you a bitch as they went down. Everything a pre-teen could want.

But what really made Perfect Dark great was the multiplayer mode. Sure, it was just a bunch of blocky maps where you could play King of the Hill or shoot up mooks, but that was only part of the draw. What we loved was being our own little army, eliciting shrieks of AI terror and spraying the walls with gore, crushing those who would oppose us with the sort of chilling cruelty only a child can wield. That is, until we turned our digital guns on each other. Does anyone else hear child-like cackling on the wind?

Like all good things in a young boy's life, Resident Evil 3: Nemesis came by way of a cool older cousin. Violent games were forbidden in my household, so I dove into this one with ravenous curiosity. The blood. The guts. The gore. I wanted to see it all. RE3 was my glimpse into gaming's seedy underbelly. Then there was the Nemesis itself. Powerful and imposing, this unstoppable monster hounded my every step; its guttural cry of "STARS!" heralding my imminent doom.

Tragically, after a mere three days in Raccoon City, my parents put the kibosh on RE3. I was distraught. YouTube didn't exist yet, so how would I know if poor Jill made it out alive? That's when I found the novelization of RE3 at a local bookstore, which I secreted away under my mattress. I figured, 'My parents want me to read more, so even if they do find this, they can't get that mad, right?'

Let's see here... we've got a serial-killing clown, a dude who got his face mutilated during a botched surgery, a girl who has a porcelain mask nailed to her skull courtesy of an abusive father figure, and a Vietnam veteran turned cannibal. And that's just on the character select screen! The most iconic part of the car combat Twisted Metal series is its utterly deranged cast of psychotic misfits, but David Jaffe and co. went extra dark and disturbing for the PS2 installment.

My parents agreed to buy this horrifying concoction for my 13-year-old self based on one condition: I would skip all the potentially psyche-scarring cutscenes, meaning the only violence I would ever see would be car-on-car. I held up my end of the bargain (since I was too scared to watch anyway) - but I wasn't quite prepared for a stage set-piece that lets you fry death row inmates to a crisp, or Brimstone's special attack that launches a suicide-bombing zealot onto enemy vehicles. Let's just say my mom wasn't exactly pleased to see that kind of imagery on the family TV.

My older brother was always there to lead the charge, so I never had to worry much about getting M-rated games. As long as I kept it low-key, I could play pretty much any of his purchases without (voiced) concern from our parents. I never got in trouble at school for reenacting all that 'Animated Violence' and 'Animated Blood and Gore', so I guess it worked out ok.

Speaking of which, the only thing I vividly recall about the N64 Turok games is the blood. I doubt anything else about them is still remarkable (except maybe to virtual fog enthusiasts), but that blood was really something. It's even more impressive when you consider that Nintendo made Mortal Kombat fighters bleed frickin' Ecto Cooler just a few years before. But I digress: My first truly M-rated experience was throwing a razor-sharp Frisbee into Turok 2's giant eyeball boss so I could watch blood spurt as it bounced around inside the vitreous humor. Hooray for video games!

At least Connor got a chance to play his copy of Turok. See, I come from a pretty religious household (true story: My mom made me throw away some Magic: The Gathering cards I'd bought from a friend in middle school because the devil). So other than a quick round of Mortal Kombat or Doom at a friend's house, M-rated games were out of the question. But one day, when I was 13 or 14, I decided to press my luck and rent a copy of Turok: Dinosaur Hunter. I don't remember how it happened exactly, but somehow the game slipped past the watchful eye of my parents and the Blockbuster clerk well enough for me to take it home and play it.

For five whole minutes. I slapped the cartridge into my N64, booted up the tutorial, and began wandering through this foggy, dinosaur-filled realm. I took aim with my bow, and loosed an arrow toward an unsuspecting mook. Decapitation! And, because this is how these things go, this was the exact moment my dad walked in my room, shouted "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" and promptly grounded me for a week. I felt upset about it at the time, but I'm honestly kinda grateful. He saved me from a pretty terrible game.

I was in love with adventure games from the late '80s and early '90s, and the only reason I had access to them was because my dad had colleagues who would share their games. So in between playing King's Quest and Police Quest, my dad had also passed along Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards because he had no idea what it was about. Yeah, I know. I even helped Kickstart the remake a couple of years ago... and still haven't played it.

Parental controls weren’t really a thing with my parents, unless I was tying up the phone line (and he took my modem). So naive, clueless little me was walking around as this pervy guy in a white suit trying to hit on women. I kinda knew who he was since he made a cameo in Police Quest, but I didn't quite get the full picture until many years later. Many, many years later. Luckily for me (or maybe not), I couldn't figure out the puzzles and didn't get the jokes, so wandering around trying to kiss whoever showed up didn't really get me very far.

Had the ESRB actually existed when Mortal Kombat 2 launched, that would technically be my first, but instead the honor officially goes to Duke Nukem 3D. The FPS certainly earned its rating with gory violence, crude humor, and even some heavily pixelated nudity. Back in 1996, all of that had an intoxicating charm to me and my juvenile friends. It was such a thrill knowing my parents would disapprove of Duke Nukem saying “I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck,” let alone him literally doing that during the post-boss-fight cutscene.

Today, Duke’s reputation as gaming’s bad boy seems so quaint. His gory escapades look tame next to God of War, and his dirty attempts at wit can’t really compare to the colorful insults of Saints Row. Also, once I saw films like They Live, I realized all of Duke’s best lines weren’t even original. Nowadays, I'm mortified whenever I think about my seventh-grade self's excitement for Duke's breakout hit.

So, how about you? What was the first M-rated game you ever owned or played, and how did it all go down? Did you incur the wrath of your parents, or exploit their inattention to what you were actually playing? Or heck - maybe you were old enough to just buy it for yourself, no questions asked! Share in the comments below.

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There’s a lot said about gaming’s depiction of women, and with good reason. For all the talk of sex positivity and the empowerment of sexuality, there’s a long history of objectified digital ladies. And I’m sure that regrettable lineage of underdressed women has you thinking the same thing as me: Where are all the nearly nude men in gaming?

Purely in the interest of equality, I went searching all over the internet for sexy, scantily clad gaming dudes. After sifting through A LOT of scandalous fan art, I finally found a handful of hunks that reach for similar heights of fanservice as women like Bayonetta. Just to clarify, these are dudes who not only wear very little, but actually appear intentionally provocative, as opposed to power-fantasy musclebound brutes like Kratos. Without further ado, here are the most shockingly underdressed men in gaming...

The Dead or Alive games are (in)famous for one thing, and it isn’t balanced gameplay. The series has been cashing in on the appeal of its buxom female cast for years, and the majority of Dead or Alive 5’s DLC is made up of a near endless number of sexy costumes. For the most part, the guys of DOA5 are left with jokey downloadable attire like Santa Claus and his reindeer, but this alternate look of Ein’s doesn’t seem intended for laughter.

Now, the incubus his costume refers to is basically the lady-tempting equivalent of a succubus, not the awful rock band. That said, it doesn’t seem all that satanic to me. All the leather, red nail polish, and novelty horns look more like he bought a ‘Sexy Devil’ outfit for Halloween. Ein’s Incubus look is still a far cry from the flowers and string the ladies are bedecked in for DLC, but it’s still nice to see that some of the DOA guys can strut their stuff.

I wouldn’t describe any of the Castlevania characters as sexy during the 8-bit era, but things took a turn on PlayStation. Not only did games like Symphony of the Night take clear inspiration from Metroid titles, but everybody got a whole lot prettier. Nowhere is that shift in design more obvious than with Simon Belmont. By the time he appeared in Castlevania Judgement, he had taken his whole ‘whip wielding’ motif much farther than anyone expected.

Much like Ein’s Incubus attire, Simon’s Judgment apparel is a lot of belts and leather wrapped around an exposed torso. Credit for the design goes to concept artist Ayami Kojima. She worked on most Castlevania titles from Symphony onward, and Kojima clearly has skill with crafting attractive men, though most weren’t as kinky as Belmont in Judgement. His short pants and tattooed midriff are definitely a change from the heavy armor of the original NES box art. You have to think Dracula would even be a little uncomfortable if Simon showed up wearing that.

Street Fighter has its share of underdressed guys, from the handsome psychopath Vega to the bearish wrestler Zangief, but they can’t really compare to this duo from Street Fighter 3. Brothers Gil and Urien are both leader’s of a dangerous cult, with Gil making himself the messianic figure as Urien tries to usurp control. Both have the power of Greek gods, and the bodies to match, as you can no doubt see. Seriously, how can Ryu keep a straight face when battling either of those guys?

The two are wearing virtually nothing, not even shoes, though what’s a little foot pain to a god? If anything, their sole garment - one small posing pouch apiece - have the effect of emphasising their nakedness. Street Fighter 4’s big bad, Seth, is fully nude, but is as smooth as an action figure below the waist, effectively removing sexual connotations. Less so with Gil and Urien’s body wrappings, which effectively works as both sacred and scandalous garb. It’d be sexy if the two weren’t so into kidnapping and world conquering.

Goichi ‘Suda51’ Suda and his team at Grasshopper create strange games, perpetually the result of their creator's lifelong obsession with punk rock, pro wrestling, and horror films. Even his lesser works, like Killer Is Dead, still offer a more distinct world than you’ll find in many other games. I mean, how many other action titles feature an arch enemy who exclusively wears gold chains and lives in a palace on the moon?

David is the big bad of Killer Is Dead, a self-styled lunar king, bedecked in naught but the gilded dental floss and thong befitting of that status. It shows you how nuts the whole game is that David can dress this way without anyone commenting on it. Killer is Dead garnered some controversy for its raunchy dating minigames, but David’s garb somehow missed the headlines. Ironically, said minigame makes players work to see the dates in their underwear, while David is dressed down from the outset. That’s very charitable to players, no?

These days Raiden is fully accepted as one of gaming’s elite stars, but fan reaction wasn’t so charitable when he first appeared. Most players were apoplectic that he replaces fan-favorite Solid Snake - up til then the lone protagonist of the Metal Gear Series - so early in the game. Konami only made it worse by not revealing that was the case ahead of release. Unlike the grizzled Snake, Raiden is a pretty boy who’s much more sexualized than his predecessor. I mean, Snake didn’t have to stand around with just a straw obscuring his penis, did he?

Raiden’s stripped down torture scene, followed by his nude escape, rapidly became one of the most talked about scenes in gaming. And I get why: it’s easy to admire Raiden’s acrobatic skills as he does cartwheel kicks while covering himself with his hands, though I think some fans weren’t ready for the character to be so exposed. Most western fans weren’t prepared for such nakedness. This might explain why Raiden became much more popular when he exchanged his snow-white body for a gunmetal grey cyborg death machine…

Devil May Cry star Dante has always looked more like a ‘80s glam metal singer than a paranormal investigator. Seriously, just about any of his outfits would fit on the cover to a Poison album, but Dante’s standard garb in Devil May Cry 3 takes it to a whole new level. He keeps his signature red leather duster, and this time he’s going shirtless underneath, save for the strap right across his chest.

Just like with Capcom stablemates Gil and Urien, the leather line situated on Dante’s upper torso makes his shirtlessness more pronounced. The coat’s accessory draws the eye much more than an unobstructed view would. Of course, if you prefer to see Dante go fully topless, DMC3 offers that as an alternate costume, though you have to finish the game first before you unlock your just desserts - and that’s no simple task even on the Easy setting.

If you’re ever thinking of digging up Final Fantasy 7, please do me the favor of playing Vagrant Story first. That game’s been underrated from day one, and with apologies to writers of Cloud/Sephiroth fan fiction, Vagrant Story has sexier guys as well. Unfortunately, thanks to the limitations of technology, their outfits could only really be appreciated when you look at the concept art.

When you see the muddy textures and jagged polygons of the PSone game, it might not be immediately obvious lead character Ashley is wearing bottomless chaps, but the official art confirms it. Meanwhile, his rival Sydney is channeling David Bowie with an emaciated look and low-hanging pants that must require magic to keep from staying on. This game needs an HD remake so people can truly appreciate those designs! And also, you know, to play it or whatever.

So those are the most ludicrously underdressed gaming guys I could find, but I’m always looking for more examples (purely for research). If I missed any unclothed examples, tell me all about them in the comments!

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You know how you sometimes get asked that question – often during a conversational lull during an already boring dinner party - “Who would you like to meet, and why?” You might even have already heard it in relation to video game characters. It would be cool to meet Mario for real, right? Cheery chap. Cool moustache. Good times. And how cool would it be to get some real, first-person insight into the life of one of the most successful video game characters of all time?

Wrong. You definitely don’t want to meet Mario, or most of your other gaming heroes for that matter. Have a scroll through this article and I’ll explain what’s wrong with all of them. You can still admire them of course, but please, do so from afar.

Mario has been running and jumping on literally everything in sight for decades now. That is some aggressive hyperactivity he has going on there, and he’s not going to stop just because you’re a fan. Just trying to hold a conversation amid his spontaneous sprints, leaps and “Wahoo!”s would leave you exhausted within half an hour. Also, do you really want to hang around a guy who spends all day getting high on mushrooms? Get a job, Mario. He might be dressed like a plumber, but have you ever actually seen him fix any of those pipes?

If you do end up meeting him, despite my warnings, please make sure you keep your wallet hidden, or he’ll pilfer all of your spare change. Maybe just pay for things on your card to be on the safe side. You might be okay with notes. Unless of course, you meet Paper Mario. Get it? Like paper money?

Yeah? Moving on...

Actually, I should apologise to Mario, because he’s not the worst for stealing your valuables. At least if he nicks some of your money, he can’t run away that fast. It’s a whole different story if Sonic the Hedgehog gets a hold of your trinkets. And he’s in it for much bigger pickings. Jewellery and precious stones at the very least.

If you do somehow manage to catch up with him, a single punch will see him drop some of the swag. But he’s still a hedgehog, and with all those spikes, you hit him at your own risk. Is it really worth it? Also, he’s blue. Hedgehogs aren’t supposed to be blue. There’s something seriously, evolutionarily wrong with that creature. Stay away. Just stay away.

“Hey.”
“...”
“How’s it going?”
“...”
“Nice weather we’re having.
“...”

That will be your entire conversation with Gordon Freeman. Enjoy. And have fun trying to talk him down once he starts trying to open doors with a crowbar.

Next!

You know what these angsty, image conscious adolescents are like. You try to engage them in conversation, and all they want to do is talk about how big their sword is. You just know there’s a Tinder profile out there somewhere where he’s posing with the Buster Sword – beneath a towering mass of pristinely preened hair that he’s just desperate for you to notice - but his description has a quote that’s something tritely positive, like “Always believe in the power of friends“. Total, surface-level, internet poser.

He’d never find the time to meet you anyway. When he’s not messing around with Aerith or hanging out with his other friends, he’s usually off fighting evil and saving the world. Probably just for attention though. Give it a rest, would ya, Cloud? No-one needs to see another Junon reactor selfie.

“I’ve never been interested in anyone else’s life. Other people just complicate my life. I don’t like to get involved.”

Oh, okay then Snake, I’ll just leave you alone then, shall I? Yeah, he’s pretty much a sociopath, this guy. And on top of that, he’s a well trained, highly skilled killer. That’s not the friendliest combo. Steer clear unless you want a gun pointed at your… parts… and a grizzled man trying to take your rations. But wait, what’s this?

“I think at any time, any place… people can fall in love with each other.” Kinda sending out mixed signals there, Snake. Maybe add 'monstrously irrational mood-swings' to the list of reasons you probably don’t want to meet him.

Come on, I don’t have actually have to explain this one to you do I? If you want to meet an arrogant, aggressive, wise-cracking, politically incorrect idiot who solves all his problems using a combination of brute force, explosions, and machismo, then dig up Russell Crowe’s address on a Hollywood star map. Also, don’t you hate it when people wear their sunglasses all the time, even indoors?

If you do end up meeting him, just don’t ask him to do any of his famous quotes. He’ll hate that. Just ask any celebrity who, decades later, still has that once-cool-and-hilarious catchphrase shackled around their neck. In fact he’ll probably respond by killing you with brute force and explosions. And then he’ll do one of his famous quotes anyway, because that’s all he has left, damn it. But you won’t hear it. ‘Cos you’ll be dead.

While Mario is getting high on mushrooms all day, Pac-Man is popping pills. Then he gets a bit peckish and eats some fruit. Then he goes and attacks ghosts. This is another guy you don’t want to meet, at least not until he goes to rehab.

It’s unclear if the ‘waka waka waka waka’ sound is due to Pac-Man’s substance abuse or just a crippling speech impediment. If the former, you might be able to get a decent conversation out of him after he gets clean. If not then that’s all you’re gonna get, and don’t think you’ll even get a word in. It’s endless. He can’t even move without wakking. If you want to emulate the experience without having to leave the comfort of your own home, save yourself the trouble of actually hanging out with him by just putting your finger in your ear and scratching, quickly and rhythmically. Go on, try it. It totally works.

Now, Commander Shepard is just an extension of whoever’s playing him or her, and who in their right mind would want to meet you? No, I’m only kidding, I’m sure you’re lovely. And I bet you don’t work on a bog-basic, three point morality compass like Shep does.

Everything you say, Shep is either going to react well, poorly, or morally ambiguously. If you’re going out to eat, make sure you select the kind of food he likes. He has a tendency to randomly slap people or push them out of windows if he’s annoyed. He also has a tendency to butt into…

“I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favourite slide in the article.”

Damn it, Shepard.

Well, you know what they say, never meet your idols. Why don’t you let me know which gaming characters you’d like to meet in the comments section below? Or better yet, come up with some examples of characters you definitely wouldn’t want to meet, and why.

Looking for more character assassination? For in-game unpopularity, check out .

The Game Developers Conference is over and now it's time to look to the biggest gaming event of them all: E3 2015. Every year game developers from all around the industry show off their games on the E3 show floor. Sometimes we see games that will be out in the wild in just a few months, other times we get very early looks at games coming years down the line. Then there's the glitzy press conferences, revealing new titles and hardware. Needless to say, it's an exciting time.

What we'll see on the show floor is fairly uncertain. Will the Last Guardian finally re-emerge? Will Mass Effect 4 be announced? Is the Legend of Zelda for Wii U going to be playable? These are some of the questions we want answered, and we're sure you do too. That's why we've put together this list of games we want to see at E3 2015. But stay tuned. As new details surface, we'll update this article with the latest information on your favorite upcoming titles.

It may be any less. With a giant galaxy to explore, BioWare could take the next title in the series basically anywhere... and it hasn't been much more specific than that so far. In fact, all we know at this point is that the game exists and will have space stuff in it. Also Garrus? Please also Garrus.

While it may seem like the game is too far off to pop up at E3 2015, consider the fact that it was announced at E3 2014 with nary a screenshot. With a year since then, we suspect that the development team has hammered out the basics a bit more, and BioWare will be happy to tease the title even more. Maybe a piece of concept art? Two pieces of concept art? We'll see.

Bits of information about have trickled out to the public over the last few months, but in terms of actual footage, fans have had nothing to feast their eyes on since the original release trailer at E3 2014. The dam's looking fit to burst at this point, and what better time to do it than center stage at E3 2015?

Following the success of the Tomb Raider reboot, our thirst for more and bigger adventures (with more tombs, please) is greater than ever before. Plus, Microsoft ruffled a lot of fan feathers when it announced that Rise of the Tomb Raider would be a timed Xbox exclusive, so we somehow doubt it's going to keep Lara tucked away when it's got everyone's attention.

It's been years since we've gotten to play an all new, vehicle-based Star Fox game, but gettinga quick glance at the work-in-progress at last year's E3 has given us hope of seeing a more complete version this year. Oh, how we long to hop in an Arwing to gun down enemy ships with charged laser blasts and sit in the driver's seat of the Landmaster once again.

The good news is, it looks like we'll be able to do those things in the new , only it may be a slightly different experience. The game is controlled using the Wii U Gamepad, and its shooting takes advantage of the controller's camera and motion control, which appears to take some time to get used to. Even so, we definitely expect to get our hands on the game on this year's show floor.

Our anticipation is now out of control. It can't get much more unbearable than this. DICE's upcoming has shown up at the previous two E3s but with little to show. In 2013 we got a teaser trailer showing off the ice world of Hoth, and in 2014 there was an in-engine look at Endor. Now we're expecting a full-blown reveal for E3 2015. Anything less than that, and we're turning to the dark side.

Why do we expect to see it this year? Well, the game is probably going to come out later this year. Dice has set a release window for Holiday 2015, which would be in line with the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens release to theaters. We just hope it's everything we've come to expect from a Battlefront game. Let us see some epic space battles, lightsabers cutting through stormtroopers, and awesome, reenacted movie battles.

The Skyrim of the franchise is coming. At least, that's what the Wii U's upcoming open-world title looks like to us. We've only seen a few glimpses, but from what has been shown so far, the game is massive. The fields of Hyrule extend as far as the eye can see, and the crazy thing is, if you can see it, you can probably go to it.

Because the world is so large, much of the gameplay shown has focused heavily on Link's horse. His equine companion appears to be used as more than just a vehicle to get you from point A to B. For example, Link can leap off the horse's back and enter slow motion, launching a volley of arrows before he hits the ground. And that's just the sneak peak. Nintendo is sure to reveal much more of the game at this year's E3 in preparation of Zelda's expected 2015 launch.

This is a resurgence that you probably didn't expect to witness anytime soon. Rock Band is making a comeback. The upcoming title is said to be making a few changes to the traditional formula (though the specifics are still scarce) to get you and your co-op rock buddies back on the drummer's throne and flicking the clicky guitar strings on new-gen consoles.

Harmonix is saying that will be the Rock Band game of this generation. What does that mean? Well, for one, you probably won't see the developer releasing any more Beatles or Green Day spinoffs as was done before. Rather, the game will be built upon with expansions and DLC. Plus, the developer is also working on making the old peripherals usable on the new hardware, so you won't necessarily need to buy new kits.

Another year, another Assassin's Creed. But this year it appears that Ubisoft is taking on another setting that fans have been asking for, Victorian London. Early screenshots of the game showed off the new setting's skyline, featuring Big Ben and a massive, explorable city. On top of that there were a few glimpses of the hero swinging from ropes, putting on disguises, and dueling enemies on top of moving carriages.

If doesn't show up at E3 2015 it would be surprising. The series has had a long track record of yearly releases, and Ubisoft isn't going to miss this year. You can definitely expect the next Assassin's Creed to be the headliner of the Ubisoft press conference.

No Man's Sky may just be the biggest game you could ever experience. Yeah, there are games out there that have procedurally generated worlds, but No Man's Sky gives you a procedurally generated universe to explore. From the animals of an alien planet to distant asteroid fields, there is no limit to what you can explore. See a planet in the sky? Go there and check it out.

How you spend your time is completely up to you. Want to sit and stare at dinosaur-like alien beasts as they graze on a colorful, peaceful planet. Do it. Want to take part in massive space battles that make you feel like you're in a Star Wars movie? You can do that too. We've only scratched the surface of No Man's Sky, and hopefully we'll get a chance to delve deeper this E3.

has developed a habit of making impressive E3 showings then disappearing for the rest of the year. We've previously gotten a glimpse at the three-person co-op open world gameplay. But outside of a few in-game firefights and cinematic trailers, there hasn't been much to go on with The Division. Hopefully, that all changes at this year's E3.

If the game is still set to come out by the end of the year, E3 is the perfect time to build hype for the online shooter. We've seen the success of Bungie's open-world shooter Destiny, and it's easy to imagine Ubisoft is eager to get it's co-op-centric online experience out in the open.

Having made its debut at E3 2014, seems to be taking the tactical shooter genre in a new direction. As a member of a SWAT team or a group of criminals, it's up to you prevent the other team from accomplishing their goals. In the demo shown last year, the criminals had a hostage and were barricaded in an American suburban home. The SWAT players had to coordinate their attack as they busted in through windows and blew down doors (and even destroyed the floor) with breach charges. It looks intense.

The most impressive aspect of the demo is the level of destructibility in the environment. Players were able to shoot holes through the house's drywall exposing the wood framing within, and breach charges seem to destroy just about anything you can stick them to. We expect to see more of Rainbow Six Siege this year, and to test out just how much of it we can blow up.

is easily one of the most anticipated games of the year, and with the newly announced September release date, we're definitely expecting a big showing at this year's E3. Snake is back (Big Boss snake, not the Solid one) in a console prequel/sequel to the rest of the Metal Gear Solid series...except 3 (and the portable ones), that takes place before MGS 5. Look, it's complicated, but the game looks absolutely amazing.

A few things have changed in Metal Gear Solid 5. For one, the world isn't as confined as it has been in previous games. Instead, you have the freedom to approach your missions as you see fit. Snake has an entire army at his back as well as powerful companions who can join him in the field, not to mention a ton of new gadgets to mess with, kidnap, and kill guards. We can't wait to get our hands on it in June.

After spending way too much time as a Final Fantasy XIII spin-off, nearly tripping into development hell, is finally, finally coming out. Sporting all the giant swords and crazy hair that we love with a whole new battle system and gobsmackingly pristine graphics, XV is a huge turning point for Square Enix. This E3, we're expecting an all-in media blitz.

It's been a rough couple of years for Square in terms of consumer confidence, particularly after it devoted so much time to producing FFXIII sequels and fixing an utterly broken MMO. The once revered giant of JRPGs is on the ropes in the Western market, but if the successful relaunch of A Realm Reborn is any indication, it isn't down and out. It just has to make this year count, and treat Final Fantasy XV like the make-or-break game it really is.

We have a ton of questions about . After all, the game was just announced in December and there are only a few details and trailers trickling in here and there. We know it has classic fighters like Ryu, Chun Li, and what appears to be a newly resurrected Charlie Nash, but the rest of the roster eludes us, as does its place in the series' timeline.

But who really cares about the lore that much anyway? We're definitely excited to see more of the game in action and it seems that E3 would be a prime time to reveal new (and old) characters and maybe get some hands-on time with the fighter. Nothing is set in stone yet, but it's difficult to imagine we'll go through E3 2015 without at least another glimpse of the game.

is a massive game and developer Rockstar has done well to keep the online portion fresh with fixes and new content (with more on the way). But what about those of us who want to delve back into the story mode and maybe explore the lives of some other characters living in Los Santos? We want more stuff, too.

It's about time Rockstar releases a new single player expansion for GTA 5. The series has never been shy about doing so before. Rockstar has even mentioned that it has GTA 5 DLC in the works. We wouldn't be surprised to see an announcement revealing some form of expansion. Gamers have had time to play through on the new hardware by this point. E3 would be the perfect time to show off any additional content.

We've been waiting to see the ol' Chief back in action ever since he threw off that pointless cape in the game's first teaser trailer. We've already gotten our hands on the Halo 5 multiplayer beta, and from what we've played so far is going to be worth the wait.

What kind of E3 would it be if we didn't get to see Master Chief back at his best once again? Not only will we get back in the Chief's Spartan armor, a second hero has been thrown in the mix who we'd love to get more acquainted with. Perhaps we'll get to see more of the story mode, or check out a few new multiplayer maps. Whatever the case, we can't wait to get our hands on it.

Chances are won't be scaring the shit out of us until 2016 at the earliest, but that doesn't mean we should feel safe from Kojima's stunts. Revealed through the now famous (and famously horrifying) 'playable teaser' P.T., Silent Hills has since received one more, ultra-creepy trailer at the 2014 Tokyo Game Show. Since Kojima is the kind of guy who likes to tease games for years prior to release, it's not a stretch to think that some new horrible hints about Silent Hills will sneak their way into E3.

Granted, we probably won't be able to expect anything huge - if the marketing campaign for The Phantom Pain is anything to go on, it probably won't be anything bigger than a two minute trailer, a mysterious character reveal, or showing off a mechanic that lets you airlift giant centipedes after a disembodied head vomits them up. But still, it's something. It's going to scare the hell out of us, and when it does, we're going to freaking love it.

This imaginative team-based arena game is coming to Xbox One and PC this fall courtesy of a publishing deal with Microsoft, so it'll definitely be playable on the E3 show floor. If you haven't seen its third-person action yet, you should know that Gigantic is on par with Blizzard's in terms of colorful, vibrant character designs, and the blazingly fast gameplay blends third-person combat with the coordination inherent to a MOBA.

While the 5v5 team setup will seem pretty familiar, your objective is anything but. You and your dazzlingly animated compatriots are actually fighting on behalf of one colossal guardian, a larger-than-life mythical beast that needs your help to make its way across the map and into enemy territory. Of course, the opposing forces have a guardian of their own - and the battle that breaks out when the two teams meet head-on is nothing short of epic.

Skyrim has been out for over 3 years now and Bethesda has to have been working on something since then, right? Maybe that thing is Fallout 4. Maybe it's something completely different, but it totally could be Fallout 4. We've been waiting to return to the dilapidated, radioactive world of the Wasteland, but there hasn't been a peep about the game coming from the developer.

The rumors have run rampant, mostly based on job postings and voice actor comments from years ago. But, it's possible that the developer does have a Fallout 4 announcement coming in the near future. Bethesda is even running its first-ever E3 press conference. What better game to headline the Bethesda conference than Fallout 4.

Really? The Last Guardian? Isn't that game cancelled yet? Well, no. Not yet. Sony still refuses to close this concept up in a crate and ship if off to that warehouse from the Indiana Jones movies. So, we're still here, eagerly anticipating some news about it's development. Will we get a surprise announcement this year? We'll just have to wait and see.

There have been around that Activision will be making some sort of Guitar Hero-related announcement at E3 2015. We already know that Rock Band 4 is an actual thing, so this actually isn't too far fetched. Activision has made no official comment to confirm the rumor but a spokesperson did say that a new game wouldn't be released unless it had "developed the right innovations to usher the franchise into the new generation of gaming."

This isn't happening. Just deal with it.

This year's show already looks like it's going to be a doozy. Do you have a favorite title you can't wait to see more of? Looking forward to a game not on this list? Let us know what you want to see in the comments below.

For more from GamesRadar, check out our list of the .

Things are starting to fall into place for Rise of the Tomb Raider. While there's still over half a year between us and the earliest possible release for this holiday 2015 title, we're finally starting to get whispers of what the game might look like. And by 'whispers', I mean a roaring avalanche of information that came with GameInformer's , which centers entirely on our intrepid lady of tombs.

All this new knowledge, combined with our own exclusive Rise preview session (which you can hear about in the video below) have shed a lot of light on what Lara's new adventure will entail. Secret societies, bigger tombs, a mythical city and the return of old friends - there's a lot to catch up on, and you can find it all packed into the following slides. Onward!

At the start of Rise's E3 trailer, Lara's in therapy, talking through the trauma inflicted by her fun-filled excursion through Yamatai. Or rather she's not. Because explaining what happened to her would sound completely insane, which apparently puts her in an unfortunate spot. "Lara feels like an outsider in the real world," explained creative director Noah Hughes in an interview with GameInformer. "Her next expedition is a way of dealing with the trauma she's been through, but it's also a way of finding peace by chasing any shred of evidence that what she saw was real."

That's suggests there's going to be a big focus on Lara's questionable state of mind in Rise, especially when you consider Crystal Dynamics' handling of her story in the meantime. The currently running both make a big point about how the trauma she experienced at Yamatai is still affecting her. While we can certainly expect Rise to delve more deeply into Lara's PTSD, don't expect her to spend the entire game at the doctor's office. She's got something to prove to herself.

Lara Croft's explored so many exotic locales, racing to beat nondescript bad guys to magical treasure, that 'thwart supernatural scheme' probably shows up right before 'buy milk' on her weekly to-do list. Rise looks to stick with that tradition, sending Lara to the frozen tundra of Siberia to discover the legendary invisible city of Kitezh. An ancient city that supposedly sank to the bottom of a lake when its citizens prayed for salvation from an invading Mongolian army (not sure how much better of an option that is, but all right), Kitezh supposedly contains the secret of immortality, and Lara's ready and raring to raid for it.

A setting like Siberia definitely ups the ante in terms of survival. Say what you will about Yamatai and its population of murderous cultists, at least it was warm. The unforgiving weather Russia's northernmost parts is bad enough, particularly since Rise promises to utilize a dynamic weather system, but throw in hungry bears and wolves intent on having Lara for breakfast, and it seems like everything's going to want her dead. More than normal, even.

Lara already has to deal with horrendous weather, vicious animals, and the trappings of her own psyche, but why not make things interesting and throw in a malevolent secret society? While Lara had to deal with the fanatic exploits of the Solarii cult in her first adventure, this time she's up against a well funded group called Trinity, which is very interested in getting to Kitezh before she does.

This organization was named dropped in the first game, where secret GPS documents referred to them and their interest in supernatural phenomena, so they've technically been in the picture all along. The group showed up in person in the Tomb Raider comic as well, and it's members made a sincere effort to blow up Lara with a rocket launcher when she tried to protect one of their assassination targets. Expect them to take up the mantle of trying to brutally kill Lara at every turn, though probably with more advanced weaponry. Oh boy.

Lara may have been anchored to a single location for her last adventure (for obvious, deeply traumatic reasons), Rise is apparently going to offer a little more variety. GameInformer reports that the game will take place in at least two locations, and though we already know about Siberia, the second spot remains a mystery. However, they're will apparently be stark geographical differences between the places Lara will visit, so wherever she goes next, it won't end up feeling like a rehash.

Most of the images we've seen of Rise so far focus on Lara's romp through a winter wonderhell, with the exception the one above, which looks distinctly desert-like. Given that ominous-looking helicopter overhead, our guess is that Lara's going to go all Amazing Race to find scattered clues about the magical city she's trying to get into before her enemies find it. Or is that too Nick Cage?

We've seen Lara leaping toward sheer rock faces before. By now she's no stranger to the old 'jump at a wall and stab your axe in at the last minute so as to not die' trick. But we haven't seen her do that while hurling herself over what looks like a half-mile deep mountain chasm, after being chased off a cliff by a giant marauding bear. We're still uncertain how much platform jumping will feature in the gameplay itself, but if it's anything like that little stunt, it looks like the platforming genre itself may be getting a gritty reboot.

In addition, Crystal Dynamics has noted its commitment to one more, very important thing. "We'll have more tombs in the game featuring a full spectrum of puzzles," says Hughes. "Some tombs are much larger than in the last game... We want puzzles to make logical sense, so the solutions to the puzzles in this game won't always be some confounding security system of the ancients; it might be that Lara just needs to navigate the space in a way that subverts its original intent." While that may seem a bit vague, it definitely feels like a step in the right direction. Given that one of the main criticisms of the original reboot was that it lacked a proper selection of crypts to plunder, a renewed focus on the thinky-bits Lara's known for is nothing but good news.

While combat was a big (big, big, big) thing in Lara's blood-drenched Yamatai trip, and she had an impression set of scavenged weapons at her disposal, she's since upped her arsenal. While she was previously able to upgrade her arms with random salvage, Rise will use a tricate crafting system, which will let her to alter her weapons for different purposes. Advanced traversal, for example, or choosing whether to give her bow greater ease of use, or greater stopping power. She'll also be able to build things like traps and explosives, which give her all sorts of fun ways to destroy anyone who gets in her way.

This new system is already being compared to the scavenging mechanic in The Last of Us, which seems pretty apt. We can't say we mind though, because that system made collecting even random junk feel important while encouraging us to explore the game world. Hopefully Rise doesn't totally shadow TLOU, since variety's the spice of life, but but we're excited to see what a new team with new thoughts can do with a mechanic that good.

Whether this is a good or bad thing comes down to perspective. While some fans enjoyed the interplay between Lara and her comrades, particularly in her efforts to protect Sam, others felt they were needlessly tacked on and detracted from her badass adventures. Still, depending on how they're used, it's nice for Lara to have a humanizing element that keeps her from looking like an indestructible human pincushion. Either way, we still not sure of their role in the overall game, so the months ahead will tell how that's going to shape up.

As you may remember from the small fan-based nuclear explosion that detonated last August, Rise of the Tomb Raider will be Xbox One and Xbox 360 exclusive when it releases this holiday season. However, , though it's not yet confirmed how long it will last or what other consoles it might touch down on in the future.

While this is a frustrating move for anyone that doesn't have ready access to a box of X's, there is hope yet that the exclusivity window will be short. And hey, who knows? Your patience may be rewarded with a .

So that's everything we know about Rise of the Tomb Raider for now. But expect fo to start pouring out like the brains of so many arrow-perforated mooks very soon indeed. Keep an eye on this article, and we'll update it with every fact that arises as we move towards the game's Holiday 2015 release.

And while you're here and snuffling around for E3 info like a pig looking for video game-scented truffles, check out some of today's other reveals. Like .

Getting tired of checking your kill-death ratio in Advanced Warfare or fruitlessly searching for the best sniper rifle in Destiny? Sometimes video games can feel a little stale - I've been there too, buddy. Luckily, there's a whole industry of indie games shaking things up. Ever play Braid or The Binding of Isaac? Then you know what's up.

Now is a great time to check out the most promising indies on the horizon. If you're still enjoying your triple-A experiences, don't worry: these guys borrow from modern and classic blockbusters, but each title brings its own twist. Let's get started - severed limbs, dance floors, and cupcakes await!

Why should you try it? You have to be a fan of big, tough boss fights if you've played through Shadow of the Colossus, and Titan Souls serves up the same menu of ginormous entrees. It's not about whittling down a giant health bar, but figuring out how to damage each Colossus. Most strategies involve latching onto limbs as the boss draws near, and many of Titan Souls' contenders require a similar level of trickery.

What's the twist? Colossus killer Wander wields a bow, and so does the hero of Titan Souls… except he only carries one arrow. Fire it, and you'll have to manually pick it up or draw it in like a boomerang to fire again. Legolas would surely kick butt regardless, but the rest of you will have to take careful aim - especially since you die after a single hit.

Why should you try it? For a game set deep under the sea, BioShock sure has "atmosphere." Oxygen jokes aside, the enrapturing art deco style is definitely evoked by We Happy Few's retro-futuristic 1960s London. And where Infinite's white-washed Columbia was packed with psycho supremacists and pseudo-religious freaks, Few's city is inhabited by Brits at a disturbing level of constant happiness, thanks to a government-mandated drug

What's the twist? If the Splicers or the Order of the Raven gave you a hard time, you could dispose of them with a few shotgun blasts or semi-magic Plasmids. That sort of behavior is a no-no in Few's overly enthusiastic world. All you can do is sneak around, blending in with your perpetually smiling neighbors. Trust me, you don't want them catching you.

Why should you try it? I'd like to tell you that the team behind Guacamelee secured a Mike Tyson cameo, but alas, the ear-chomping boxer is not to be found here. That said, taking down Severed's enemies and bosses is a matter of memorizing patterns, just like with Punch-Out's totally-not-racist cast. Swiping across the Vita screen to parry attacks or deal damage is all about timing and memorization. There's even an equivalent to the Star Punch: the game takes its name from a finishing move that slices baddies to bits.

What's the twist? But unlike Punch-Out, you're not stuck in a boxing ring forever. Severed's world is explored in first person by moving from screen to the next, much like iOS cult classic Infinity Blade. The team also calls Severed an "RPG-lite," since you can collect bad guys' dismembered body parts to boost your health and strength.

Why should you try it? You leap across boulders in a river of lava, scale a tower, and slay a Space Pirate - all to reach a chamber containing the heat-resistant Varia Suit. Now you can run right through that lava river! Powerups like these are what make Metroid games great, and Axiom Verge delivers the same wardrobe of game-changing apparel and attachments. It's all about exploring, finding new abilities, and re-exploring in new ways, all across a mysterious alien world.

What's the twist? The 60-plus items and powerups in Axiom Verge are already impressive. Even better, some weapons in Axiom Verge have two modes of fire. The Nova, for instance, can fire a large single shot or burst into six smaller ones. Bet the Galactic Federation doesn't have that in its arsenal.

Why should you try it? Call me crazy, but finding a unique way to off someone and get away with it is exciting… in Hitman, of course. Party Hard offers the same opportunities to set traps and find multiple routes through places like clubs and crack houses. There's an intensity to trying to not get caught, and a sense of satisfaction if you manage to pin the blame on someone else.

What's the twist? While Hitman provides chef hats and clown costumes to let you move around undetected, the 'hero' of Party Hard has no disguise. In fact, you can only hit the dedicated dance button to boogie and blend in with the plebes you're trying to murder. And yes, that's plural. Agent 47 has one target to off, but your party guy must kill everyone in the place. That's hardcore.

Why should you try it? "What's so special about platformers anyway, Ernie?" "Gee, Bert, it's just great jumping around and using fun things like jetpacks. It's the way we move that's so fun." The Sesame Street bros are right, and NES classic Bionic Commando proved it by replacing the ability to jump with a robo-arm-embedded grappling gun. Although Ronin's heroine can jump and grab ledges, she also has a handy dart rope for swinging around, and it's the key to slipping through windows and rooftops undetected.

What's the twist? Nathan 'Rad' Spencer never stopped for a turn-based battle, but our Ronin warrior certainly does. Combat isn't about aiming a gun - you'll have to plan your moves to avoid enemy fire, leap around, and slash foes with your trusty sword. Not bad for a one-armed warrior.

Why should you try it? Turn-based RPGs are fine and dandy, but tactics games like Fire Emblem and The Behemoth's tentatively titled Game 4 set combat atop a grid system - it's much better than standing in a line taking hits one at a time, really. Moving about the grid puts an emphasis on troop placement and attack order, so you have to strategize instead of spamming fire spells each turn.

What's the twist? When the team behind Castle Crashers gets into the tactics game, you can expect two key features: cuteness and absurdity. Where Fire Emblem includes archers and infantrymen, Game 4 sends hordes of living cupcakes and blonde cyclopses after you - don't be surprised if the ambush is interrupted by crashing pirate ships or UFOs either. It's also more forgiving than its hardcore counterpart: there's no permadeath mode, and fighting your way out of corners is very doable.

Why should you try it? If you're play Dark Souls, you're going to die. As for Necropolis, well… 'necro' ain't the prefix for 'life,' pal. The Souls series isn't just about dying though; there's a ton of little quests that can turn NPCs against each other. Likewise, the creatures of the Necropolis have a designated food chain - you can use survival of the fittest to your advantage.

What's the twist? The thing about Dark Souls is that you can memorize enemy and placement and environments, making your journey a tad easier. As for Necropolis… well, 'necro' doesn't mean 'repeatable' either, bub. Necropolis is procedurally generated, making each dive into the hellhole just as dangerous. You can manipulate the layout to get around, solve puzzles, and uncover treasure, but that doesn't mean the adventure will be any easier.

See? Not every video game is a near-future shooter or a medieval RPG - there's some intriguing stuff out there. And these are just a few of what's coming. Did one catch your fancy? Is there another indie you want to spotlight? Let me know in the comments!

Looking to get into some more obscure titles? Here are .

Some people like to argue games today are too easy, and that we've forgotten what it means for something to be 'Nintendo hard'. I don't think that's true. The difficulty is still there, but only for those who seek it out. As games seek to reach a wider and wider audience, they have become more flexible. Load up a random, modern game and chances are you'll be asked to pick a difficulty ranging from easy to hard to groin-shot-nightmare-extravaganza. Most people don't pick that last one.

Some of these insane difficulty modes are unlocked straight away, while others are only awarded after you've finished the game on a lesser mode. However you get them, these are the hardest of the hard, capable of transforming otherwise enjoyable games into masochistic exercises of personal torment. They're not for the faint of heart, but they'll fetch you some hefty bragging rights should you persevere.

XCOM is one of those games where everything can go wrong without a moment's notice. One turn you're silently sneaking between the trees, searching for a crashed UFO. And then BAM! you're neck-deep in Floaters who are flying all over the place handing out grenades like party favors while a couple of Sectoids roll up and hit your flank. And it's around now that Rookie Redshirt panics and hunkers down right in the middle of the chaos. Why would you think that's a good idea!?

Playing on impossible difficulty basically raises the stakes for every decision up to 11. Rewards are smaller, costs are greater, and every decision you make has far-reaching consequences. If you're not on top of your game from day one - complete with an overall strategy in mind that'll carry you through to the final mission - things can and will unravel very quickly. As the game's Wiki so helpfully notes, "...every funding nation can be lost during the first month, depending on alien activity and the efficiency of XCOM's response." This might be the speediest response from the international community to any issue in this history of forever.

Playing Metro: 2033 Redux on the Ranger difficulty means you and your knife are going to be close friends. This mode attempts to make the game more realistic - or about as 'realistic' as you'd want a post-nuclear-apocalyptic Russian horror game to be - by removing several modern conveniences. An abundance of health? Gone. A decent supply of ammo? Gone. Literally the entire HUD and all the valuable information contained therein? It's outta' here, baby, and this is just Ranger Easy mode.

Ranger Hardcore ups the ante even further by making you less of a survivor and more of a - shall we say - dead man walking. You are extremely fragile, which means engaging enemies using stealth is basically your only shot at survival. And you can forget about ever having a reasonable supply of ammo. Enemies will fall to one or two gunshots, sure, but if you end up actually using your gun it had better be because the person (or horrible monster) on the other end inflicted some sort of deep, personal offense upon you.

Fire Emblem is already a tough-as-nails series. When your characters die, they're gone forever; weapons degrade over time, especially the good ones, and stat bonuses are doled out randomly when you level up. Fire Emblem: Awakening lets you mitigate - or enhance - these challenges through various difficulty options, the toughest of which is Lunatic+. This mode packs the same crippling difficulty of Lunatic, but with an added twist found only in this mode.

As it turns out, that "+" stands for a grab bag of brand-new, enemy-exclusive abilities that are randomly assigned to grunts and bosses alike. These include Luna+ (all attacks halve your defense), Pavise+ (all your attacks deal half damage), and several others. Early on, this can make fights flat-out impossible, forcing you to constantly reload the same battle over and over in the hopes you get a more favorable distribution of skills on the enemy team. Don't expect Frederick to bail you out of this one.

F-Zero GX is one of the unsung greats from the Nintendo GameCube. It offers an incredible sense of speed on par with the best in the racing genre while keeping the F-Zero basics of vehicular combat and track memorization intact. It's an edge-of-your-seat racer that demands a lot of its players, and is easily one of the most challenging racing games ever created.

This game gives you very little, and demands everything in return. Learning the layouts of each track is required. Learning the nuances of each racer is required. Practicing races over and over again is RE-FREAKING-QUIRED. It's not for everyone - which is surprising for a Nintendo release - but putting the time in will reward you with a genuine challenge that feels difficult because it's actually taxing your skills as a player, not because it's hitting you with blue shells moments before you cross the finish line.

Video games often make complicated tasks look easy, whether it's piloting a spaceship or simply firing a gun. The Guitar Hero series does this as well, simplifying the strumming of a guitar down to a few colorful buttons and a plastic switch. That is, until you round the bend with Legends of Rock on expert mode. All of a sudden, playing a pretend guitar becomes, arguably, more difficult than playing the same song on an actual guitar.

When you watch someone play a song like The Devil Went Down To Georgia on expert it looks like a friggin' Lite-Brite threw up all over the screen. There are so many colorful little circles flying all over the place you basically need to have the song memorized. If you try and keep up running on instinct alone the quick tempo will leave you in the dust. Oh, and just in case expert isn't tough enough, turn on "precision mode", which makes the window for hitting a note even tighter. The only things getting shredded here are your fingers.

Grenades. Grenades everywhere. Call of Duty: World at War, when played on Veteran difficulty, presents a fantastical version of World War II in which every soldier was given a dozen grenades per mission and expected to use them all, at risk of court martial. And every one of them is going to land right at your feet at the most inopportune time which is basically ALL the time because this game is crazy hard.

You want to talk about making meaningful choices in video games: how about choosing between getting blown up by a grenade or being cut down by machine gun fire? It's meaningful because it's the only choice you ever get to make and both options are wrong. You spend more time running away from the fight, in an attempt to avoid all the grenades, than you do breaching doors and doing the standard Call of Duty stuff. But then the game just spawns more dudes in your absence, creating a vicious cycle where you're constantly fighting without making any real progress. And then a grenade kills you.

Ninja Gaiden has built a dynasty upon the broken controllers and mournful cries of its followers. Dating back to 1988 with Ninja Gaiden on the Nintendo Entertainment System, this series has been renowned for its brutal difficulty that really puts the screws to you as soon as you press start. Master Ninja mode in Ninja Gaiden 2 is by far one of the series' greatest challenges, without relying on cheap tricks. It's simply a fast-paced game that demands players use the entirety of Ryu Hayabusa's arsenal, make snap judgements, and watch out for exploding turtles.

To give this some context, most action games - such as God of War or Devil May Cry - get "solved" within a few months to a year of their release. This means someone has posted a video of them beating the game with "100% completion, no damage, one arm tied behind their back!!" Ninja Gaiden 2 has one of these , the only difference being it took the internet SIX YEARS to pull it off. This is especially surprising given that there hasn't been another good Ninja Gaiden game released in that time to distract diehards.

So there you have it, the hardest hard modes in gaming. How many of these bad boys have you bested over the years? Are there any that you think were even harder? Tell your story in the comments, and share your victories and defeats with fellow readers.

And for even more GR+ excitement, you know you gotta' check out .

Move through this gallery to see characters from some of your favorite franchises, like League of Legends, Street Fighter, and everything in between [note to editor - these will change depending on what I actually photograph]. Maybe you'll be inspired to don your own gaming garb...

For more great games of dress-up, check out the .

Move through this gallery to see characters from some of your favorite franchises, like League of Legends, Street Fighter, and everything in between [note to editor - these will change depending on what I actually photograph]. Maybe you'll be inspired to don your own gaming garb...

For more great games of dress-up, check out the .

Move through this gallery to see characters from some of your favorite franchises, like League of Legends, Street Fighter, and everything in between [note to editor - these will change depending on what I actually photograph]. Maybe you'll be inspired to don your own gaming garb...

For more great games of dress-up, check out the .

Hear ye, hear ye! Fans of take heed: if you're looking for more cooperative role-playing to tackle with your buddies - and I'm assuming you've already put 900 hours into Divinity: Original Sin - then take a five-foot step towards Sword Coast Legends. Based off of Dungeons Dragons' 5th Edition ruleset, this game has similar stylish designs as DA:O - and the same pause-and-go combat to boot - complete with all the genre staples you've come to expect.

At GDC 2015, I had the chance to check out an extended demo of the game, complete with a party of four distinct heroes, loot and player customization, undead hordes, and plenty of witty banter. But what really got me jazzed was the game's dungeon master mode. That's right, without needing any sort of special modding know-how, you can whip up a fully customizable adventure for your friends (or strangers online). Click ahead to learn the tools of the trade.

Just like your typical Dungeons Dragons campaign, it's the job of the dungeon master to create a fun and exciting adventure for players to enjoy. Sword Coast gives you all the tools you need to make a single dungeon - or an entire campaign - with no need for extended charts and graph paper. In the demo I saw, the developers showed off some of the tools at their disposal when working with a single dungeon, including traps and ambushes.

The ambush in question involved a lone, totally-innocent-looking Drow standing on a bridge, just waiting to get beaten up for juicy loot and experience points. When the players approached the Drow, however, that triggered the ambush, which automatically spawned a whole mess of giant spiders on both sides of the bridge. The dungeon master set all this up in real time, moments before the players entered the room. He also went ahead and locked the door leading further into the dungeon, just to be a jerk.

It's interesting to note that, to the players, the dungeon master's icon appears as a soft ball of white light, which the developers described as a "magical wisp." If you happen to see the wisp flying around in the area you're currently exploring, chances are a nasty surprise is not far behind.

While dungeon masters are omniscient, their powers aren't limitless. Just as a mage requires mana, the dungeon master relies on 'threat'. You start out with a lot of it, but nearly everything the DM does requires some, from spawning enemies to setting traps. A good dungeon master will earn more threat by providing a suitable challenge for players, one that pushes them to the edge without resulting in a string of party wipes.

As a matter of fact, if a dungeon master does decide to go all "rocks fall, everyone dies" on the players, that dungeon master actually starts to lose treat. And once the threat is all gone, the dungeon master's reign of terror (and rocks) is over. The developers emphasized that designing the role of the dungeon master is a balancing act. On the one hand, they want the DM to be lethal and encourage adversarial play, but on the other they don't want the DM to just create a string of impossible challenges (which they could easily do if left unchecked).

Naturally, as the players explore and kill monsters, they are rewarded with sweet, sweet loot. And so is the dungeon master. This loot takes the form of new tricks to play on the players. In the demo I saw, the GM stumbled across a special amulet that let him summon a zombie hoard on command - which was a type of monster he didn't otherwise have access to.

As I mentioned earlier, the dungeon master's powers are not limitless. In addition to requiring threat to harass - I mean, challenge - the players, the dungeon master also cannot award specific pieces of loot to those players. That's right, no handing out free Vorpal swords to every would-be tomb raider that crosses your path. As the developers noted, the potential for game-breaking exploits is obvious.

This wouldn't be so much of an issue if games were confined to just you and your friends - because if it's just you and your buddies, then who cares, right? But Sword Coast wants players to take their DMing skills online as well, and create quests for players who don't have a DM of their own. And they don't want every dungeon to be "The Dark Caverns of Free Vorpal Swords."

Clearly, I'm excited for the DM features in . Designing encounters seemed quick, easy, and intuitive - and for an added bit of hilarity, the DM can also assume direct control of powerful boss monsters, should they feel the need to command this personally. Of course, the developers also noted that, if you wanted, you could ignore all the DM stuff and just play the entire campaign with the AI. You know, if you can't take the pressure. BAAWK BAAWK BAAAAWK!!

Excuse us, that was brash. If you're looking for more great GR+ stories, then be sure to look up .

When you put a ton of smart, creative people in the same space, good things are bound to happen. That's the idea behind the Game Developers Conference, the annual week-long gathering that invites people from all walks of game industry life to sync up and share ideas. As of today, GDC 2015 is wrapping up, and after five days of attending panels, playing indie gems, and getting a closer look at the VR tech that may very well determine gaming's future, we're feeling thoroughly enriched.

But if you couldn't make it out to San Francisco this year, don't fret. We picked up tons of interesting factoids and behind-the-scenes stories at GDC '15 - the kinds of tidbits that can get overlooked amidst all the news and previews. So here, in one convenient location, is a collection of the most downright interesting things we learned at GDC. Get ready to feel enlightened... or at the very least, feel like you've got a cool new anecdote to share with a friend.

It's probably no surprise to learn that triple-A game developers use a lot of data and focus groups to fine tune their games. Bungie was no different when it came to developing the missions and systems of its open-world shooter, . The dev team used lots of pre-release testers to play early builds of the game and let the creators know which parts of the game were fun and which sucked.

Typically, pause buttons are used to take a break from a game and collect feedback from the test participants, but because pausing isn't possible in an online-only game like Destiny, the developers had to think of some other way to get that precious data. The solution: give players instant access to button combinations that would tell the developers when they felt confused, lost, frustrated, or when something awesome happened. From there, the developers were able to create heatmaps of the awesome spots (as well as the not-so-great areas) and fill out the lame spots with extra awesome stuff. Awesome, right?

At the more technically focused talk titled ‘ Motion Capture Pipeline,’ Naughty Dog’s Damon Shelton talked about what happens with motion-capture data after the actors are done. Basically it takes a lot of programs and developmental elbow grease to craft the people of that dystopian future, including test footage using two of the only complete character models. So, to map out the involved animation of Ellie battling a Clicker, Naughty Dog had to make a ton of test footage featuring Joel’s model attacking the last person you’d expect him to.

Obviously this footage of Joel attacking Ellie would never be used in the game, Naughty Dog dropped the proper models in when all the assets were complete. Still, it must have been odd during development to cycle through hours and hours of footage of Joel attempting to bite Ellie’s face off. Shelton also revealed that Joel’s actor, Troy Baker, is actually a few inches taller than Joel, so they had to shrink the actor down to fit the finalized character model.

Back when first came out, a lot of people were shocked to discover how good it was. Meanwhile, the folks at Telltale Games were just shocked (and incredibly relieved) that so many people liked it. "We were sweating bullets when Walking Dead went out, because it was so weird," Telltale CEO Kevin Bruner said during a panel on the company's narrative approach to gameplay. Specifically, the game was an odd entry in the adventure game genre, since it had very few puzzles and focused almost entirely on player choice and dialogue. Given that standards for the genre were set by the likes of Grim Fandango and The Secret of Monkey Island, The Walking Dead looked like a bit of an odd bird, and no one was really sure how it was going to pan out.

Thankfully, things worked in the game's favor, but that hasn't made the Telltale team less anxious. "Every time something comes out, we are terrified [about] how it's going to be received," Bruner noted, pointing to the skeptical reactions the studio received received after announcing Tales from the Borderlands. Still, the goal remains the same as it did in The Walking Dead's development: "I don't think we were trying to build… the world's greatest anything. We just wanted to build something that we thought was good."

Danganronpa and its sequel got a lot of critical buzz last year, but still stayed under the radar for many mainstream gamers. Those who played it loved the characters and densely written plot, but perhaps the series potential is limited by its platform. The Vita isn’t known for big sales, and Danganronpa's creator wishes things were different.

While clarifying that he wasn’t being paid in any way by Sony, Kazutaka Kodaka began and ended his presentation with funny slides that exclaimed, 'why won’t people buy a Vita!' He didn’t elaborate on those frustrations too much, as he soon dove into the nuts and bolts of writing a game’s story, but the situation is understandable. Kodaka and his fellow developers are certainly invested in the handheld, even if the sales are dwindling worldwide. It's tough to maintain a system on niche titles like Danganronpa, even if they do tell some of the best stories in games.

Much like his most famous games, Japanese developer Hidetaka 'Swery65' Suehiro is so quirky and unassuming that you just can't help but love him. While hosting a panel about the development of the Xbox One episodic mystery D4, Swery hinted that . But that's not all - he also shared a whopping 65 tips pulled from his very own development process, including this valuable bit of wisdom to game makers: don't play the game you're creating every day.

"By leaving a little bit of room [between playtests], it allows for you to not get stale and have the same [recurring] opinions," he said. To ensure that he doesn't miss the forest for the game-development trees, Swery onlys plays the games he's making once a week - on Thursday, to be exact. Some other fun facts about Swery: whenever something bad happens at the office, his solution is to simply hug it out. When developing the characters for his games, he likes to map out a timeline for each of their fictional lives. Also, he owns four Power Gloves.

Stop me if this has happened to you: you're on a prisoner transfer ship, and all of sudden, the ship is attacked. You, the crew, and all the prisoners are rushed onto escape pods and jettisoned down to a mysterious planet. You find yourselves lost in an underground dungeon, and must work together to get out. It's so awkward, right? I hate it when that happens.

Dungeon of the Endless is a little bit dungeon crawler and a little bit tower defense. You explore randomly generated dungeons room by room, collecting new items and leveling up your characters in solo or co-op play. You also earn currency used to build fortifications in the rooms you've visited, in case hordes of enemies spawn when you enter the next area. Once you finally reach an exit, the finale involves running back to your starting point, picking up a special item, and slowly carrying it to the exit, all the while fending off an endless stream of enemies pouring in from all sides. Hope your fortifications are up to snuff in time for this PC-to-Xbox One port.

Magicka 2, a game about mages mixing magic spells to defeat imposing hordes of enemies, . This is new territory for publisher Paradox Interactive, which is known for catering exclusively to the PC market - though apparently not for lack of trying on Sony's part. "Sony asked earlier if we would like to publish our games on PlayStation 3," Paradox studio manager Mattias Wiking noted during a demonstration of Magicka 2. "We said 'No, it's a bit too complicated for us. We need to do regular game updates that our fans are really demanding.' So, it wasn't really a good platform for us."

What happened to change Paradox's mind? The PS4, and serious efforts by Sony to simplify the process of developing for it. "One day Sony came and said, 'Now we have the PlayStation 4... we're gonna make it really easy for everyone to publish their games." Wiking explained. "And we were like, 'Yeah, this will work.'" As Sony and Microsoft vie for ever more exclusive content from third-party developers, it's interesting to hear straight from the creators about how these interactions go. If Paradox's example is any indication, Sony has genuinely upped its game for this generation, with a focus on making its system attractive to a wider range of game makers.

If you're a fan of the ship combat from , but wish there was a lot more to it (and it was set in space), Rebel Galaxy is your space sim. You own a spaceship, with which you can do whatever you want. There is a full, open-world galaxy for you to explore, tons of characters to meet, and plenty of opportunities to rake in the dolla' bills.

There are many ways to approach Rebel Galaxy. Those who are keen on a complex storyline can follow the main quest chain, help or exploit important characters, and make universe-altering decisions. Alternatively, you can just skip all of that and raid merchant ships for their valuable cargo, becoming an infamous space pirate. The choice is yours.

Ever wanted an asymmetrical online multiplayer game about being constantly freaked out? You absolutely need to try , which has a simple setup but horrifying results. Rounds start with everyone controlling one of the Flock: large, skeletal creatures living in the eternal darkness of ancient Earth. Somewhere on the map is the Light Artifact; if you're holding it, you're winning the game. Naturally, the other Flock will try and take it from you, but you can stop them by shining your light in their direction. Should a Flock move while exposed to the light, they'll instantly burn to a crisp.

Imagine it: you're running through a narrow, stone valley. It's completely dark, save for the dim beam emanating from the Light Artifact. All around you are clicks and scrapes from the Flock's talons as they encircle their prey, unseen. Suddenly, a crash! You spin around, coming face to face with one of the hunchbacked beasts, knowing that the moment you look away it will cut you down. But, from behind, you can hear the scratching drawing closer.

To announce that Unreal Engine 4 is now free to everyone, Epic Games showed off a mesmerizing cinematic trailer, which depicts a giant open world that could easily double as the next entry in the Elder Scrolls series. At a subsequent panel, Epic divulged the secrets to developing this stunningly convincing landscape - but the bottom line is that proper lighting plays a huge part in a world's believability.

Hundreds of reference photos of cliffs, plains, and moss-covered rocks were taken to create a scene reminiscent of the Isle of Skye in Scotland for the . But even with high-res textures covering the landscape, the scene still needs to react properly to incoming light sources, or the illusion is shattered when shadows don't line up with their environment. Luckily, Unreal Engine 4 can handle some absurdly complex lighting jobs, able to compute the amount of sunlight that should bounce off the ground onto other objects, or the way light scatters on human skin.

Outside of the meeting rooms and show floor, there were a number of displays in the halls and foyers of the Moscone Center. One of the most interesting had to be the Videogame Museum’s display near the North Hall. The Texas-based organization brought some of its most valuable artifacts from gaming history for all to see.. This display was dedicated exclusively to the history of Atari, the first truly mainstream console maker in the US, and the showing wasn’t limited to mere games.

There were pristine game boxes, countless promotional materials that were kept in very good condition, and working models of every system setup. And the mood was perfectly set by '80s pop hits playing in the background. Check out our for a first-hand look at the loving tribute to a huge part of gaming history - and make it complete by listening to Boy George while you do it.

Are you annoyed at how rare interactive toys like amiibo can get? Do you wish Nintendo would just make a few more? Well, it’s not all that easy, as GDC’s Disney Infinity 2.0 panel attested. The second release in Disney Interactive’s toys-to-life series added a ton of new figures to the world, many from Marvel Comics, and the production took 10 long months.

The amount of pre-planning for figures even afford the Disney Infinity team the lead time to help inspire the comics themselves - the current look of Venom in the comics is informed by his Infinity design. The developers also dodged any questions about Star Wars figures being added to the mix... but if that’s happening in time for December’s new film, then the toys are likely being made at this very moment, right? Unless they somehow shortened the production time since 2014.

Was this look behind the scenes engrossing? Do you want to ask the folks that attended GDC some more questions? Tell us all about it in the comments!

Want to get even more GDC trivia? Check out .

I may not have any experience making games, but I've been involved with them as a fan and as a professional long enough to know that game development is some seriously difficult business. There are so many things that can go wrong, whether engine licenses expire, publishers change hands, or high-ranking developers leave everyone high and dry. Even when things go right, ambitious titles can take years of development before they ever see the light of day.

In many cases, the games that enter what we call 'development hell' don't turn out so hot - a quick Google search for Duke Nukem Forever and Daikatana will tell you as much. But sometimes, magically, everything comes up sunshine and rainbows, and that game you've been reading about since grade school finally arrives and turns out to be pretty great. These games prove that, even if you take over a decade, all will be forgiven if the experience turns out to be worthwhile. OK, most of it will be forgiven.

Number of years in development: 6

Coming hot off the success of Max Payne 2 in 2003, Remedy Entertainment decided to shift gears a bit, leaving the fate of the previously-constipated noir hero in the hands of Rockstar Games. Its next project would be a bit darker, a bit more horrific, and a hell of a lot more forested. At E3 2005, Remedy announced the arrival of Alan Wake, a new breed of psychological horror game, that would make its way to Xbox 360 and PC. Despite this early reveal, we wouldn't get a chance to play it until 2010.

Alan Wake was originally supposed to be an open-world game, where time would pass in a realistic fashion, people would go about their daily lives, and you'd have to interrogate suspects and investigate clues to solve the bigger mystery. The PC version was dropped to focus on Xbox 360 (but eventually saw release in 2012), and its scale was cut back from its original plans significantly. It would have been interesting to explore an open world set in the spooooky Pacific Northwest, but the linear constraints placed a much tighter focus on the narrative, amplifying the scare factor considerably. Plus, its episodic nature makes it feel like you're playing through a television mini-series, which is actually pretty cool.

Years in development: 5

Gran Turismo has always been known for its realistic driving physics and jazzy soundtrack, and after two successful outings on the PlayStation 2, racing fans were looking forward to the gorgeous looking cars that only the next-generation of hardware could render. But that kind of slavish attention to detail takes time, and the arrival of Sony's flagship racing series wouldn't arrive on the PlayStation 3 until 2010.

The first concept footage of what Gran Turismo could be on PlayStation 3 arrived at E3 2005, even though the console wouldn't release in stores for another year. Development continued plugging along, with the occasional bit of news/confirmation of existence peeking out every few months. In that span of time, developer Polyphony Digital released Gran Turismo HD Concept (a free demo designed to show off what Gran Turismo 5 would be capable of) and Gran Turismo 5 Prologue (a paid expanded 'demo', designed to show off what Gran Turismo 5 would be capable of). When Gran Turismo 5 finally finished development in 2010, it was met with widespread acclaim. And even better, the developers learned learned the value of picking up the goddamned pace, releasing Gran Turismo 6 a mere three years later.

Number of years in development: 7

Ambition is admirable, and L.A. Noire is nothing if not ambitious. After developing the uniquely cinematic actioner The Getaway, Brendan McNamara formed Team Bondi to work on a 1940s neo-noir detective game called L.A. Noire. Development started in 2004, with publishing duties originally handled by Sony. L.A. Noire would be a showcase for the PlayStation 3, featuring realistically modeled digital actors, complete with realistic emotional cues and facial tics that would truly sell the team's vision of 1940s Los Angeles.

Ambition can also be deadly, as L.A. Noire missed numerous deadlines. The publishing duties were transferred to Rockstar Games in 2006, and it was supposed to hit in 2008. And then came the delays, eventually getting pushed back to 2010, and once again to 2011, where it finally saw release to a mixed reception. Its narrative isn't perfect, and its tech doesn't so much as creep past the uncanny valley so much as it pours gasoline over its head, lights a match, and elbow drops all the way down. Not to mention that pressing that 'doubt' button sends Detective Phelps on some pretty volatile mood swings. Even so, it's a solid detective story, and there's still nothing else quite like it.

Years in development: 6

Before Fallout 3 filled our heads with visions of fully explorable irradiated wastelands, there was STALKER (written here without all of the individual periods between letters because I value your sanity). It was announced in 2001, with an original release date of 2003. But since this game is on a list of games that entered development hell, it (obviously) missed that date by a mile.

I remember reading about it in magazines like PC Gamer, where each update seemed to remind us that yes, this game does in fact still exist, and yes, we will believe it when we see it. When it finally released in 2007, its stability can best be described as ranging between 'working' and 'on fire'. But when it did work, its open-world… was really something special, plopping us into a hellscape filled with opportunistic bandits and mutated beasts. Many of its issues have since been smoothed out, and fans have even created mods that up the graphical quality significantly.

Years in development: 5

BioShock Infinite states that there's always a man, a lighthouse, and a city, but even that seemed uncertain at the onset. During the first few months of development, the team at Irrational came up with several possible locations for the sequel, including revisiting Rapture and even setting it during the Renaissance, though the reveal of Assassin's Creed 2 stopped that idea in its tracks. Eventually, the team settled on the skybound city of Columbia, which allowed for the natural implementation of the sky-hook.

Even with the setting solidified, the game itself shifted constantly, even from its explosive reveal in 2010 to its eventual release in 2013. Drinkable Nostrums (think a passive version of Vigors) gave way to equippable gear, multiplayer plans were developed and ultimately shelved, and several high-profile members of the team left years before finishing. Epic Games' Rod Fergusson was brought in late in development as a closer, intent on getting this game shipped. While what we got was certainly a far cry from the initial demo revealed in 2010, BioShock Infinite was still a highly-entertaining shooter filled with the sort of big ideas you don't often see in mainstream games.

Years in development: 6

When Freelancer launched in 2003, it seemed almost miraculous, such was the development hell famed Wing Commander dev Chris Roberts found himself in. Initially conceived in 1997, Roberts and his team at Digital Anvil wanted it to be a massive, virtual galaxy, full of possibilities. Two years later, Freelancer was revealed to the public, with a scheduled release of fall 2000.

Chris Roberts left development after Microsoft bought out Digital Anvil and forced the team to scale back many of the ambitious plans Roberts desired. Automated flight maneuvers, multiple dialog options, and multiplayer capable of supporting thousands of concurrent players were either reduced significantly from their initial goals or abandoned completely. While the final product was a mere fraction of the game originally promised, Freelancer still turned out to be a fun, light-hearted take on the sprawling space-sim, though much of that was done without its original creator at the helm. Now that Chris Roberts is sitting on a pile of Scrooge McDuck money thanks to the crowd-funded success of Star Citizen, maybe that original dream will finally become a reality.

Years in development: 5

While a certain capper to the Half-Life saga may eventually end up on this list at some point (if the damn thing is even in the works), Half-Life 2 went through its own tumultuous road to release. It began development in 1999 (mere months after the first Half-Life) and finally saw the light of day in 2004. Five years may seem like a long wait when we live in a world where three Five Nights at Freddy's games have come out in less than eight months, but compared to many others on this list, it was downright speedy. That doesn't mean the wait was any less agonizing, though.

Developed in secrecy until its unveiling at E3 in 2003, Half-Life 2 was slated for release later that year, and the path even to that point was fraught with the perils brought on by new and untested technology. Unfortunately, a leak of its source code, maps, assets, and other data (along with the typical concerns of a big project) caused a year-long delay, pushing its release to November 2004. How did it turn out? I mean… Though five years is nothing compared to…

Years in development: 8

There's this joke that Valve Time operates on a different plane of existence than what we mere mortals are used to. If Valve says something will come out in September 2003, they really mean November 2004, as was the case with Half-Life 2. If Team Fortress 2 is any indication, you don't want to hear the word 'soon' escape anyone's lips, because you'll have to wait eight goddamn years.

Team Fortress Classic released in 1999, and was beloved by all who got their hands on this instant multiplayer, well, classic. But that wasn't enough for its developers, who instantly began work on Team Fortress 2. First shown off at E3 1999, Team Fortress 2 sported a modern military aesthetic, a command hierarchy, and even allowed for parachute drops. After several years of silence, Team Fortress 2 reemerged with a much more lively, cartoony look inspired by Cold War spy fiction. Its release as part of The Orange Box (along with Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Portal) virtually guaranteed its success, and its constant updates (including those coveted hats) have kept it relevant eight years after its release. Now, if we could only get an update on another highly-anticipated Valve game. Preferably in real time.

Years in development: 11

Prey went through numerous false starts and stops on the road to its eventual release in 2006. First conceived in 1995, Prey was imagined as the start of a long-running series that would be the showpiece for 3D Realms' in-house engines. Unfortunately, numerous technical issues and the departure of Tom Hall (who left to form Ion Storm with John Romero) caused the project to come to a screeching halt in 1999.

But it wasn't quite dead, as 3D Realms picked up development of the title again in 2001, bringing on Human Head Studios to help out. Even with this new lease on life, the new Prey wasn't officially confirmed until 2005, and even then, Prey still had another year left before it saw release on PC and Xbox 360. While 11 years of development may not have given us the greatest video game ever conceived, Prey was still a very highly entertaining sci-fi romp, filled with mind-bending portals and one of the .

Sure, delaying a game sucks, but if it means making a troubled game better, then it's probably worth doing. Unless it's Duke Nukem Forever. Some games deserve to be buried. What are some of your favorite, horribly delayed games? Let me know in the comments.

Looking for more? Check out these .

Fans of classic point-and-click adventures know the name by heart, with its open exploration, cheeky humor, and ever-present threat of comical death. Sierra's influential series is making a comeback courtesy of indie developer The Odd Gentlemen, and it looks like this new King's Quest has all the right stuff to keep up with adventure game contemporaries while still delighting old-school fans.

Comparisons to are inevitable - and given that series' pedigree, that's not at all a bad thing. KQ employs a similarly picturesque, hand-drawn look - in this case, literally, as all the backdrop textures in the game were printed out, painted with watercolors by hand, and scanned back into the environment. In terms of animation, KQ has the edge; exaggerated movements and cartoony poses give life to whimsical characters like a small, conniving merchant or a stocky, jerkwad knight.

Like Telltale's games, KQ comes in five individually sold chapters, which all tell a unique story from King Graham's rich history of clever heroism. with that use a framing device similar to The Princess Bride; you're playing through the memories of King Graham's youthful days as he narrates to his granddaughter Gwendolyn. But unlike The Walking Dead, where all paths eventually lead to the same endpoint, the choices you make here can alter both the telling of your coming-of-age story and Gwendolyn's personality. Exactly how this will affect your ending is still unclear, though knowing would admittedly be a huge spoiler.

Graham may not be the land's fastest, strongest, or smartest would-be knight, but he's all about ingenuity and creative solutions. Puzzles use a familiar combination of inventory items and environmental interaction - and just like the original games, you can pretty much die at any time if you're not careful. Thankfully, this King's Quest will actually autosave instead of kicking you back to the main menu upon death. With amenities that new players expect - no backtracking puzzles or dead ends, smooth controls, and simplified inputs - and the qualities that fans of older adventures adore, this King's Quest looks to be the perfect mix of new and old.

Check out the following screenshots for fo!

If you've played games for any length of time, you've likely heard this at some point from your parents/significant other/teacher/driving instructor: "Put those games down! They'll rot your brain! And watch the road!" Yeah, sometimes that's true. I've collected enough doodads and saved enough worlds that they all start to blend together into a mindless mash of bullets and gruff space marines. But not all games are brainless. Some actually strive to teach you something.

Games aren't just an amazing entertainment medium. They're a powerful tool that can be used to teach countless skills in ways that are way more compelling than sitting through two-hour lectures or filling out a hundred workbook pages. Play these games and you might actually learn something, much to your parents' chagrin. Eat that, mom and dad! I mean, thank you for raising me, and I appreciate the birthday check you sent last month. Yes, I will call more.

The incessant clacking of plastic guitars may sound like nothing more than a cacophony of noise, but it's the first step down the road to music appreciation and developing actual rhythm. Games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band let you take apart individual sections of songs and focus on them, subtly teaching you how the bassline for, say, 'Reptilia' fits in with the rest of the song. But if you want to graduate to actual rocking, well, you're in luck.

Rock Band's drum controller is actually a pretty reasonable facsimile of the real thing, complete with four drum pads and a foot pedal. While it's missing a few items from a full kit (namely the hi-hat), if you're drumming on expert, you're probably ready to join a band. If you're looking to get good at playing guitar (or bass), Rock Band 3's pro controller will help teach you actual chord structure. Or, hell, just grab a real guitar and hook it up to Rocksmith, a game which actually teaches you how to play guitar by slowly increasing difficulty levels and throwing fun mini-games your way. With enough dedication, you could go from gamer to rock god in a few months.

Quick: What's the best way to travel around the globe in 80 days? If your answer has the words 'Travel Channel' anywhere in it, you're doing it wrong. It's 19th-century Steampunk London, and you're following in the footsteps of Jules Verne's classic Around the World in 80 Days, and if you don't know your way around a globe, this brilliant mobile game will teach you real fast.

Do you take a hot air balloon across the Middle East? Or do you hitch a ride on the Trans-Siberian Railway? Where does that train even start? (Answer: it's Moscow) 80 Days' maps may not be entirely up to date (considering how much has changed in the last decade, let alone century), but it'll provide a decent crash course in world geography, culture, and even teach you how to survive on as little money as possible. Who knows? Maybe it'll even inspire a bit of wanderlust of your own.

You've seen Apollo 13, right? Three people get shoved inside a tin can, shot into space, everything goes horribly wrong, and somehow they get back to Earth relatively unharmed? Yeah, outer space is hard, and it's probably best to get some hands-on rocket-building experience without sacrificing actual people to do it. That's where Kerbal Space Program comes in.

Learn how to send your lovable Kerbals into space, land them on the moon, or get them to orbit their home planet through loads of trial-and-error (mostly error). You'll need to take into account things like trajectory, gravity, weight, propulsion, fuel, rocket shape and more to launch your Kerbals out of the atmosphere (and build a subsequent rocket to rescue those Kerbals once the first mission inevitably goes south). It's a fantastic way to learn actual rocket science. Hell, even NASA has endorsed the game, providing additional add-on missions and digital rocket parts for the realistic space-sim. Just… don't think too much about the Kerbals you've sent to their doom. It's all in the name of science.

Back in my day (God, I'm so old), if you wanted to learn about science or engineering, you got a few wires, some clock pieces, a potato, and you went from there. Now? Well, we've got Minecraft, and it's not just good for punching trees and turning them into swords or whatever you kids do these days. Nope, now you can actually learn electrical engineering, thanks to an in-game mineral known as Redstone.

With Redstone, you can power all sorts of mechanical devices. But it's not as simple as just hooking it up to whatever. No, much like actual electricity, correctly using Redstone means having to wrap your brain around how its current moves, splits, and transforms based on the blocks you use. Throw in some different logic gates and if you're good enough, you can create something as complex as a . So yeah, if you figure out how to use Redstone, you could probably figure out how to properly wire an actual city block with energy. Or at least how to wire up a clock without using any potatoes.

If you're like me, you abandoned all good sense, advice, and market trends to pursue a career in online media. Don't be like me. Take some time to learn a programming language. As our society moves further into the digital age, learning how to code is becoming ever more important. Hell, they're even teaching it to grade schoolers along with reading and arithmetic; it's that big of a deal. And like any skill worth learning, there are a few games you can play that will teach you the basics.

If you want to learn the logic behind if/then statements and recursion (also known as loops), look no further than a shot, which incorporates actual Javascript into the gameplay. Enough practice and you could become a level 50 Zuckerberg.

Along with coding, quick and accurate typing is probably one of the most important skills you'll need in today's workplace. No one wants to wait for a report from the guy who hunts and pecks at keys with his index fingers. But games are all about shooting guns and clicking on bad guys. They can't teach you how to type. Or can they???

Spoilers: They totally can. Check out , a twisted gem of a game that trades light guns for keyboards. Instead of shooting at zombies with bullets, you'll need to type out the on-screen prompts as quickly and accurately as you can. With randomized word selection and multiple difficulties, Typing of the Dead will put even the most adept keyboardist through the grinder. It's as awesome as it sounds.

If your dance moves have a tendency to clear a floor or put anyone within elbow's reach in the emergency room, you need to do two things. First, quit cribbing from Saturday Night Fever. I know Travolta seems hip, but seriously, no one wants to see that finger pointing move any more. Second, maybe it's time to give Dance Central a shot.

It's a great way to learn some rhythm, get in shape, and master a few professionally choreographed dance moves in the process. And thanks to the Kinect, you'll get instant feedback on how awkward and clumsy you look, which you can use to fuel your own self-loathing and drive for improvement. Sure, you probably wouldn't want to bust a lot of these out on an actual dance floor, but the increased coordination will certainly help.

Staying in shape is hard work, especially when fast-food companies continue to to get me to shove grease and fat down my mouthhole. Thankfully, Nintendo is there to help me not only get in shape, but increase my awareness of how my body operates. Hint: fried Twinkies don't help.

Wii Fit U has something for everyone. Yoga newbies and aficionados alike can work on their poses and breathing exercises. A variety of minigames will get your heart pumping while you have some fun in the process. And Wii Fit U will track your activities as well as your progress with different graphs, giving you perspective on your weight loss over time. It's not perfect, but it'll do more to improve your health than pretty much every other game in existence.

Supply and demand. Buy low, sell high. These are things that people spend tens of thousands of dollars on business school to learn. Or, you can skip all that and pick up a copy of Recettear, which gives you your very own item shop. It's up to you to figure out how to make it profitable.

You'll learn valuable skills like customer service, inventory management, and haggling. Keeping your patrons happy is a surefire way to gain repeat customers as well as new ones. Plus, by placing high-value items in the shop window, you'll be able to draw in even more customers as they lust after your rare and unique wares. Now, don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure you can list Recettear on an application for a small-business loan. You probably won't need to kill off a bunch of monsters to secure inventory for your actual, real life store, though it doesn't hurt to be prepared.

If you want to pick up a new language, get ready to spend a lot of time doing a ton of boring memorization and verb conjugation. You didn't pick up English overnight, so don't expect to be parlez-vous français-ing without putting the time in. If only there was a way to learn a second language and make it fun, too...

Good thing you're reading this list, because there totally is. Games like Influent and the My Language Coach series break down vocabulary words, verbs, and sentence construction into easily digestible parts, and let you practice to your heart's content. Both games have tons of audio recordings of native speakers of each language, and they're filled with puzzles, minigames and other activities to keep things interesting. Just because you're managing your dangling participles doesn't mean you can't have fun while you do it.

While these games will help teach you some important real life skills, you only get out what you put in. So really, you should just play more games to get really smart. Have you learned how to become a culinary mastermind thanks to Cooking Mama? Let me know in the comments!

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