Now that the seems great, and Monster Hunter Ultimate 4 is definitely more Monster Hunter, but what else are you going to do with this hunk of faster-processing plastic after you're done with Xenoblade Chronicles 3D? Fortunately for all of us, Nintendo doesn't have to go back to the drawing board to find ideas that would be perfect for its handheld system.

Tons of existing properties from Nintendo and beyond could make great use of the improved 3D effects and bolstered control scheme - not to mention a good number that would've been absolutely fine on the old 3DS as well. Nintendo execs, if you're reading, consider this our official wish list of awesome games to get working on post-haste for your shiny new console revision.

Metroid Prime Trilogy has been a no-brainer port ever since 3DS hit the scene, but the upgraded specs and controls of New 3DS make it all the more obvious. Since Metroid Prime's combat uses a lock-on system, you wouldn't have to worry about being overly precise with the little C-Stick nub, and you'd have another set of shoulder buttons to work with so you'd rarely need to shift your grip. It could also offer a touchscreen-driven view option, for all those poor souls who are still hoping for Metroid Prime Hunters 2, as well as visor-swapping and map management.

Much like Xenoblade Chronicles, the Metroid Prime Trilogy would probably need to lose a little bit of texture resolution to function on 3DS, but rolling around in morph ball and dodging space pirates in buttery smooth 3D sounds like a fine trade-off. It would also be a great way for Retro Studios to get back into the groove of making Metroid games. Just saying.

Minecraft has released just about everywhere besides Nintendo 3DS at this point, which is a bit puzzling. Yeah, memory constraints would almost certainly make for less-expansive worlds than you see on its PC and console cousins, but that hasn't kept people from going gaga over the Pocket Edition on iOS and Android devices. And besides, why stick with just a Vita version when the 3DS could give you such an awesome new way to interact with the world?

Seriously, just imagine how cool it would feel to navigate around a mysterious cavern in full 3D - suddenly you hear a familiar hiss, and there's a creeper popping out of your screen. And as a step up from Vita, the top screen could be reserved for watching the game world, with inventory and crafting concerns neatly relegated to the touchscreen. Unfortunately, now that Microsoft owns Minecraft, it's not likely to release on any more non-Microsoft platforms than it already has. But still, we can dream.

Pikmin is one of Nintendo's most under-appreciated franchises, and you know if creator Shigeru Miyamoto wasn't so keen on the idea of little plant people marching around gigantic gardens it wouldn't have gotten this far. It's just been a little too niche to become one of Nintendo's flagship series, but porting the first game over to 3DS could introduce Pikmin to an entirely new generation of fans - fans who will then hopefully buy a Wii U and Pikmin 3.

The control scheme is just about sorted already - simply drop in the same touchscreen setup which was patched into Pikmin 3. And while the lush graphics wouldn't look quite so crisp on 3DS, the 3D effect could give you players a much better sense of the game world's mind-melting scale. It would also be a good chance for Nintendo to refine the strict time limits which made the original GameCube version too stressful for some - much the same way that sanding off a few rough edges in Majora's Mask 3D makes for a less stressful but equally intense experience.

Did you know that Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch was first released as a DS game? The Level-5/Studio Ghibli collaboration shipped on the handheld system in December 2010 exclusively in Japan. You're likely more familiar with the PS3 version, which released in Japan a little over a year later and throughout the rest of the world in early 2013, but issues with the game's physical Wizard's Companion book held the DS version back from international release.

Ni no Kuni didn't make much of a splash when it released overseas, but it's become abundantly clear that handhelds are now the last great refuge for JRPGs. So it makes almost too much sense to release an enhanced version of the original DS game on 3DS. Just imagine peering into that vibrant, Ghibli-blessed world on the 3D screen - you'd have to pick your jaw up before you could start playing. And yes, the resolution boost over DS should allow for a digital Wizard's Companion to work just fine.

Somehow Sega passed over Nintendo 3DS when it released its HD remake of Jet Set Radio, the cult classic Dreamcast roller skating game. No matter, though - all will be forgiven if it rectifies that mistake posthaste. Seriously, Jet Set Radio would be a perfect fit for 3DS - timed challenges are great for on-the-go play, and it could definitely handle the processing load. But why would you play it over the already great Vita version?

The most obvious reason is that it would just be super cool to blaze through Tokyo-to at high speed on a 3D display. Imagine getting a downhill grind on a nice long straightaway, watching the city soar from the horizon into your periphery as pedestrians scramble out of the way But beyond that, it would control great on a Circle Pad, and you could even use the touch-screen for a much more precise take on those notoriously tough graffiti challenges. Just say it out loud: 'Jet Set Radio 3D'. Doesn't it sound right?

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Kid Icarus: Uprising is already a 3DS title! Isn't it kind of obvious to say that a 3DS game could, in fact, make a great 3DS game? Fair point. But it would make an even better New 3DS game. And it's largely because of one small, nubby, pencil-eraser-shaped addition: the C-Stick. Kid Icarus: Uprising was plenty well-received when it released in 2012, but it suffered from one nearly universal complaint: trying to control the high-speed shooting/brawling action with a Circle Pad and touchscreen was awkward at best, and carpal-tunnel inducing at worst.

Patching in a new control scheme that uses the C-Stick instead of the lower screen could change all that. Yes, Nintendo could've used the Circle Pad Pro all along instead of just making it an option for left-handed players. But now that tons of players natively have a second analog input to play with (and a 3D display they might actually leave turned on), it's time to go back and make Uprising's controls live up to the concept.

Almost by happenstance, Wario has grown from a one-off caricature of Nintendo's mascot into the star of his own subseries of games.Wario Land is his oldest solo franchise, and the flatulent one's most animated adventures is in Wario Land: Shake It. The colorful, dynamic world has a great look on the Wii, so it's a shame many missed out on its odd sense of humor while favoring the more mainstream New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

But perhaps Shake It is underrated because the Wii game was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Wario Land series had only been on portables up to that release, so the franchise might have been hurt by the transition, meaning it could reclaim its place as a handheld gem via some port work. The New 3DS should have no trouble making the intricate line art pop, meaning all the long hard hours of the animators won't have been wasted on a small percentage of the Wii's audience.

After some early ports of Street Fighter and Tekken, the 3DS's fighting landscape has become a barren wasteland. However, the release of reminds fans that the handheld can still be home to addictively fun melees, particularly if it takes advantage of a fan-service heavy crossover. That sets the stage for an anime-heavy tussle that needs to hop over from the Wii, Tatsunoko vs. Capcom.

The crossover was originally planned as a Japan-only release--given that most of Tatsunoko's characters are virtual unknowns in the west--but Capcom localized the game following vocal demands from fans. Tatsunoko vs. Capcom wasn't a on Wii, but maybe it was just aimed at the wrong audience. That hardcore fighting fans on 3DS are energized post Smash, and the New 3DS should be able to handle the fast-paced action. This fighter deserves to be played by more than the small cross section of hardcore fighting fans that are also Wii owners.

WayForward is a developer that often toils away in obscurity, making 2D throwbacks that are neck deep in affection for the 8- and 16-bit era of gaming. The team has gained some notoriety working on Capcom's DuckTales remake along with some other licensed games that are far better than they deserve to be, but those can't hold a candle to WayForward's sterling work on the Wii. Nintendo's waggle-heavy console is home to the team's remake of NES classic A Boy And His Blob, which deserves to be reborn once again on the 3DS.

In an age of polygons and purposefully retro pixels, A Boy And His Blob sidestepped both, instead going with hand-drawn visuals that support the overall warmth of the minimalist adventure. The platforming action demands logic and quick reflexes, tasking players with finding different combinations of the blob's abilities to get them to the end of the stage. It's an adorable game that would make a smart addition to the 3DS eShop, giving handheld players a chance to make a squishy new friend.

At this moment, I'm imagining you're thinking, "Ok, GamesRadar, this is all in good fun, but you've gone too far with this one. Who in the hell wants a fishing game for 3DS?" Would you warm to the idea if I told you Fishing Resort comes from the mind of Sonic co-creator Yuji Naka and his development team called Prope? Yes, at one time any type of game seemed like the next Wii Sports, even a breeze lifestyle sim based around catching trout. It didn't catch on then, but the 3DS might have been the right home for it all along.

Fishing Resort clearly takes inspiration from Animal Crossing, except it focuses on the fishing gameplay. The huge number of unlockables and wide variety of fish to catch scratches the same collectors itch as Animal Crossing, and with a similar relaxed vibe. Thanks to the huge global sales of Animal Crossing: New Leaf (and to a lesser extent, Tomodachi Life), there might finally be an audience primed for Naka's vision of digital angling. Plus, Prope already has experience with the 3DS after making Monster Manor, the addicting Mii Plaza game.

Thanks in no small part to the lack of western developed games for the 3DS, the handheld has become a treasure trove for Japanese games that would've been seen as too niche in the past. Titles like Bravely Default and Fire Emblem: Awakening are pulling in bigger sales than their genre counterparts on consoles, signaling that just about any obscure titles has a chance on Nintendo's handheld. And if the New 3DS opens the door to more Wii ports, why not give one of Japan's most obscure franchises another shot at western success by porting Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love?

Sakura Wars earned a following in Japan by mixing hardcore strategy elements with dating sim mechanics and a steampunk ethos, becoming one of the best-selling franchises on the Sega Saturn. After a dozen Sakura games went unlocalized, non-Japanese players finally got their first taste of the series on Wii, but the peculiar mix of robot battles and dating Broadway actresses was lost on system owners (crazy, right?). Now that the New 3DS has Wii level power, and a niche audience that's grown accustomed to weird things from Japan, maybe Sakura Wars will get a second chance to make a first impression.

Platinum Games' blood-soaked brawler didn't have nearly enough fanfare on the Wii. Its pulpy, black-and-white visuals were a stark departure from the rest of the Wii library, and the hyperviolent executions Jack doled out to his foes were more than worthy of an M rating. As captivating as the Sin City-style aesthetic was, there were times when the backdrop would blend into a monochromatic blur. You know what would change all that? Depth perception.

The gory insanity of the DeathWatch gameshow would leap off the screen in 3D, making Jefferson Island's gritty streets as visually mesmerizing as the over-the-top character designs. Plus, watching Jack plunge his chainsaw into a baddie's midsection as viscera splatters against the screen would kick the already-absurd levels of bloodshed up a notch. As long as you could ignore the horrified expressions of onlookers on the train/plane/bus, MadWorld 3DS would make for one hell of a handheld beat-'em-up.

The PSOne era moved away from cute mascots and sidescrollers, and Namco’s Klonoa was guilty of being both. The odd blue rabitty thing’s undeniable adorability might have turned off some PlayStation gamers, but the melancholy platformer earned a cult fan base. And Namco felt that the game deserved a full-fledged remake on the Wii, where it was likely even more overlooked the second time around.

Both the original and the remake of Klonoa had 2D gameplay in a 3D world that was mostly just suggested through camera angles and simple polygons. Klonoa’s 2.5D world would be much livelier in stereoscopic 3D, and classic platformers are already thriving on the 3DS. At some point Klonoa is going to run out of second chances, but we hope Namco gives the little guy one more shot at stardom.

Nintendo took a real risk on green-lighting Sin and Punishment: Star Successor, let alone localizing it in the west. Created by underrated developer Treasure, it was a sequel to an N64 game that didn’t leave Japan until it came to Wii’s Virtual Console in 2009. On top of that, it was the type of auto-scrolling shooter that Wii’s grandmotherly audience can’t be that enticed by. But Treasure still delivered a great game to the few players that noticed.

The Sin and Punishment series has always had more than a little in common with the Star Fox series, and SP would likely profit from a 3D conversion like the one Star Fox 64 enjoyed. And SP’s controls could be adjusted to work with the little-used second analogue stick, or it could replicate the input of Kid Icarus: Uprising. We’d miss seeing the action on our TV, but the fast pace of the action is better for a handheld anyway.

As the NES and SNES iterations of Punch-Out!! proved, waggle controls are not at all necessary to craft a fantastic boxing game. Less about actual punches and more about your adaptation to a set of patterns, the Punch-Out!! reboot on the Wii showed that Little Mac clearly had some fight left in him. Why not let him go a few rounds in the portable ring? Better yet, why not give King Hippo and Bear Hugger some three-dimensional girth that really pops off the screen?

Colorful visuals have a way of keeping their appeal even when shrunken down, and Punch-Out's cartoony style would likely follow the trend. The behind-the-back camera perspective would look nifty in 3D, and the sensation of seeing a punch actually coming at you would make it that much more apparent that it's time to dodge. A sideways Wii Remote was our preferred method of control for the original--a control scheme that would transition effortlessly to the 3DS. Simply put, we're shocked this port doesn't exist yet. Maybe Doc Louis has a thing against handhelds.

This combat-centric sidescroller is already one of the most beautiful games ever made, depicting the demons and ogres of Japanese myth with the fluid, painterly style that only Vanillaware can create. But close your eyes and try to imagine what these already-gorgeous visuals would look like after a trip through the 3D machine. The parallax layers of the background, mixed with the striking character designs, would make Muramasa look like an exquisitely detailed diorama come to life.

We already know that the game can work on a handheld system--Muramasa Rebirth is already available on the PlayStation Vita. So why not spend a little extra moolah and give the 3DS its own version? The more people who experience the journey of Kisuke and Momohime, the better. If Vanillaware was feeling extra generous, they could tweak Musou mode to be even more accessible, akin to the beginner-friendly nature of Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D's New Mode.

You don’t need to imagine some fantasy world or sci-fi future to find a great setting for a game. You just have to think small and watch a few nature documentaries. There you’ll find a world of insects that is as brutal and stark as anything in God of War, and Deadly Creatures dropped players into such a world with a common spider and scorpion as the main characters. It was an incredibly unique game that no one played.

But its creative approach to third person action isn’t the only reason it deserves a new start on the 3DS. The world of insects was composed of underground tunnels, and the nooks and crannies of mundane homes. The levels were designed to feel alien. The look of those areas would only get stronger with the inclusion of a third dimension of depth. We just need to find who ended up with the rights after THQ closed, add a handful of touch controls, and we’re good to go.

Given that Link's adventures are pretty much a free money machine for Nintendo, there's really no reason not to make his darker escapade go portable. Unlike Skyward Sword, Twilight Princess would do just fine without motion controls (see: the GameCube version). The darker hues of its ethereal realm would look stunning in 3D, and the thought of seeing bristling fur on Link's wolf form fills us with a geeky glee. We'd also be able to fulfill our lifelong dream of carrying around Midna in our pockets.

Like Xenoblade Chronicles, this one might be trickier to pull off given the space capabilities of a cart versus a disk. But even if the textures were slightly downgraded, that's a price we'd gladly play to relive Twilight Princess in a new dimension. At this point, we're looking for any excuse to play through this majestic, multi-dimensional quest one more time.

One of the last games released by Hudson before the developer disappeared into Konami, Lost in Shadow had a simplistically novel approach to platforming. Platforms were constructed out of the shadows cast by structures in a derelict structure, and you explore that world as a boy reduced to a silhouette. It took 2D sidescrolling in a clever direction, but now the 3DS seems like it would have been the better venue for the game.

Lost in Shadow is all about the foreground and background elements working together to form a stage, but the flat standard definition of the Wii didn’t communicate it as well as stereoscopic 3D could. It saddened us that the game flopped on the Wii, but Konami could give this shadow a new lease on life as a high profile eShop download.

The 3DS already has one Paper Mario game (and approximately 30 games starring the mustachioed plumber), but hear us out. Super Paper Mario was originally planned as one of the final GameCube games, but Nintendo shrewdly moved it to the Wii early in that system’s lifespan. While it was a great experience, the controls were a little weaker in the transition, so pushing it to the 3DS would give the title the analogue controls it was designed to have.

Additionally, Paper Mario: Sticker Star proved that the flat variation on Mario’s world looks great on the 3DS, and the gameplay conceit of Super Paper Mario would enhance it further. The visual effect of continually flipping between 2D and 3D worlds would benefit from the extra heft that stereoscopic visuals would give the title. Early Wii adopters got to enjoy the smart gameplay and even cleverer writing of this platformer, but every 3DS owner deserves the same exciting adventure.

Some Silent Hill fans might think the series has been in the crapper since developer Team Silent was dismissed after the fourth game, but Climax Studios did their best to renew the franchise. Climax returned to the original, kept it creepy, but made the proceedings even ternal and personally torturous. The city of Silent Hill has always externalized the inner torment of the protagonist, but Shattered Memories did it in an impressively human way.

Outside of the emotional tale it tells, Shattered Memories also succeeds in creating a disturbing, dimly lit Silent Hill that’s worth exploring. Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon already proved that the 3DS is great at creating atmosphere with shadows and a flashlight, so just imagine how that would work with flesh-eating, shrieking monsters. Also, a 3DS port could correct the mistakes of previous handheld port that came to the PSP.

The title of this touching JRPG might've been a self-fulfilling prophecy: As one of the last original Wii exclusives, hardly anybody noticed when it arrived stateside in 2012 amidst a wave of Wii U hype. That's a damn shame, because The Last Story is an enchanting tale of warring nations and the band of mercenaries stuck between them, set against the backdrop of a unique, apocalyptic landscape.

This is essentially a Final Fantasy entry in everything but name--not all that surprising, given that the game's director, Hironobu Sakaguchi, was involved in the production of nearly every Final Fantasy ever made. A 3DS version would give The Last Story a new lease on life, welcoming in a new legion of fans with open arms.

So, have we teased your imagination with the prospect of these would-be 3DS greats? Original IPs are always welcome, of course - but sometimes, it's a joyous experience to play something familiar in a whole new way. Did we miss any major candidates? Let us know in the comments!

And if you're looking for more, check out .

Modern gaming is pretty decent; we have some of the most beautiful looking games of all time and plenty of experimental experiences thanks to the explosion of indie games. However, while the grass is a vibrant shade of green, it’s hard not to notice one or two weeds starting to push their way through this heavy-handed metaphor. You see, games are great and all, but are we really making the most out of them? No.

This is where we get to Trophies. With Sony's virtual silverware now displaying how many people have earned each specific accolade, we can tell not just which individuals have played what, but exactly how the gaming populace as a whole conducts itself. And when we really start sifting through those challenge completion percentages, frankly, it all starts to get a bit bleak. Here are all the grimmest truths bits I’ve gathered while scrabbling through the Trophy gold mines.*

*Due to the ever shifting nature of said mines, some of these stats may have changed since the time of writing. Hopefully for the better.

When is a game “finished”? Is it when you’ve got a 100% sign flashing away on the save file? Or just once you hit the dreaded hour long credits sequence that accompanies most games? Well, it’s none of the above. It’s apparently finished when you put the game down and forget it ever existed, or hurl it into the dreaded pre-owned black hole of your nearest game shop for maybe a few quid, if Alien: Isolation is be anything to go by.

Isolation might have been our 3rd best game of the year, but only 15.7% of PS4 Isolation owners can proudly display the virtual icon telling them they’ve finished the game. Sure, that means 82.3% won’t be having Xenomorph related nightmares anytime in the near future, but they’ve also missed out on the pant-ruining terror that is a Working Joe who wants to explore the inside of your noggin. Also, the last few hours are insanely good. Fire it back up again, you fools!

But why let finishing a game be a problem when you don’t even have to properly start it? Telltale’s The Walking Dead is a fantastic game… although it’s also one that doesn’t require a great deal of actual playing. You hit buttons, but far less often than in other games, and the demands on your arcade skills are almost non-existent. In fact, to get the first Trophy you only need to spend 15 minutes playing. Should be a solid 100% collection rate for that one, right?

Nope; 93.2% of narrative zombie fans completed the arduous task of actually starting a game they spent real money on, according to the Trophy stats. That leaves an astounding 6.8% of players who maybe just saw a dog outside the window and forgot what they were doing. Who has an attention span like that? Wait, before I answer that, is that a French Bulldog..?

We all know the score by now, Tomb Raider is a pretty cool survival-action game where Lara Croft is both the victim and the monster. It’s not all about the queasy thrill of realigning the facial muscles of some poor goons on a deserted island though. There are also some tombs to have a poke around in as well. Hey, considering that the game has ‘Tomb’ in its name, you would think that would be a pretty big deal, to be fair. Let’s get raiding then?

Nope, turns out us gamers really just crave the violence. For instance, only 20.4% bothered to get all the optional tombs explored, whereas 68% of gamers mistook this for archery practice and ensured 50 enemies croaked it at the end of Lara’s bow. Add on the 62.8% of sneaky assassins who ended the lives of 25 unaware guards, and it seems we’ll forsake shelter in any old weather as long as there’s something to kill out there.

Who plays Call of Duty for the single player, ’eh? Isn’t the series now just an online playground for people without filters to vent their frustrations while blasting seven shades of pixels out of each other? Well, sort of. On PS4 CoD: Ghosts, 57% of people own the Trophy for completing the first mission. That’s 56.9% more than I was expecting, admittedly. But still, the first mission.

CoD 4: Modern Warfare still stands as one of the best FPS campaigns of the last generation, but since then, the series multiplayer offerings - both competitive and co-operative - have become increasingly dominant. This Trophy stat really hammers home the possibility that a good proportion of people have now stopped buying the series for it’s story. To look at what CoD campaigns have become - Kevin Spacey parachuted in to paper over the linearly scripted cracks and all - is a sad reminder that its single player has basically become a six hour tutorial for all the new toys in the online death grounds.

Life is full of contrasts. Some trophies, for instance, demand a commitment usually reserved for monks in a brothel. Others only require that you understand how to move your thumbs. In Burnout Paradise, your first task after turning on the game is to bundle your wheeled wreck through an Auto Repair shop, or else find yourself stuck in a death defying junkmobile for the rest of all eternity. You would expect in a game based purely around the concept of driving really fast, getting your car into an acceptable state would be a priority.

It takes some cars longer to get to 0-60 than it does to earn this Trophy and yet only 87.7% of gamers managed it. The only plausible theory is some Dark Souls level of self-imposed challenge. I refuse to believe 12.3% of players loaded up one of the best racers ever assembled and thought it “sod it” before they had even begun.

Back in the days of the PS2, Pro Evolution Soccer was the critical darling to FIFA’s mainstream, sales machine, and its genius was built on the Master League. You created your own team, inherited a squad of players and dragged them all the way to victory. It’s basically football’s version of XCOM, just without the crushing moments of defeat when all your best squad members are brutalized into a coma.

This year’s Master League brings back exactly what you want; bizarrely named players to get far too emotionally attached to. Unfortunately, the PES buying public have seemed to move on, with only 32.1% registering one singular win in Master League. The last-last-gen version of the mode has become nostalgia fuel for plenty of gamers from that golden era, but its latest incarnation will be lucky if people even remember it by the time the next edition rolls around.

Poor Ivory Tower. Years had been spent fine tuning its next-gen debut, an ambitious MMO for petrol heads where the entirety of the US is the play area. It’s online-only, to convince people to team up and form some sort of gang when they race. A crew, if you will. See, it’s such a big part of the game, it’s actually the name of it.

So it must be soul crushing to find that only 52.8% of it’s racers have bothered to have raced in a Crew. I even got my Trophy when I accidentally accepted to join someone’s game. Not everyone wants to have other people spoil their fun, anyone who has ever played online will attest to that. Still, it’s a bit rough for only half your audience buying into the game’s concept.

I can’t really think of any reasons why anybody would not want to play every inch of Rayman: Legends. Personally, I love the game so much that I find it disconcerting that not every Trophy is 100% done. But I get it. It’s pretty much impossible to Platinum the game unless you play its challenges every day for about fifty days. It’s almost understandable that the big P Trophy is hovering around the 2% mark, even if a day with Rayman is ALWAYS better than a day without him.

But it’s the other trophies that make me want to weep for the gaming community. Only 50% have got the Trophy for completing the sublime Castle Rock musical level, where your actions sync up to a cover of Black Betty. If you don’t automatically think that sounds like a good use of your time, then it might be worth reconsidering your outlook on life. Like, really, really hard.

Early on in Wolfenstein’s Nazi-robo-dog slaughtering adventure, the game makes you to decide which one of your allies is going to be dissected by a mad Nazi General. And thanks to Trophy statistics, you can see that everybody made the correct choice in who to save in this scenario. Wait, hang on a minute. Something’s wrong here. You mean isn’t it 100% for Wyatt? You beasts!

Wyatt might have been a naive urchin who was lucky not be sucking down lead every minute of Wolfenstein’s prologue, but who could resist his plucky optimism? 62% of Wolfenstein’s cold hearted, dead-eyed players, that’s who. Fergus had a few things going in his favour - he was first on screen, you shared a life-or-death incident on a plane right at the start of the game, he probably likes the same things you like and smells really good - but it’s still not enough to condemn poor Wyatt to a brain removal. Those are a boy’s hopes and dreams you’re scooping out there.

Singstar might not be a game you particularly want to save for a marathon session, but round up a few people, add in some drinks, and it’s karaoke without the usual full quotient of humiliation. Or at least with a vague semblance of gamification to distract you from the humiliation. But, according to the darkest recesses of the Trophy list, you can also rap on Singstar. Why would Singstar do that?

I’ll gladly partake when nobody’s looking, but unless you are certified, actually-good-at-it rapper, that should be the only time any of us should attempt to spit some bars. We all make mistakes, and in the drunken haze of 2:45am, I could see how showing off your flow to something as innocuous as Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) could seem like a good idea. But to unlock “That’s A Rap”, just like 4.6% of real people did, you need to complete an actual rap song five times. A horror that great should not be allowed to exist.

Kittens! Mario! A nice brew on a Sunday morning! Feel better? Good. That particular tour of the depressing state of modern gaming could have turned most of us into Morrissey. Are there any gaming behaviours that send you into a spiral of despair? Or better yet, which ones have brought a wry smile to your face?

Looking for more features to consume, you rabid over-achiever? Check out , for there are prizes to be had!*

*There are totally no prizes.