It's no secret that the Metal Gear Solid timeline is a complicated quagmire of names, dates, and secret organizations, and with the last entry in the long-running series arriving in less than two weeks, we'll finally get the missing pieces to a story that has been decades in the making. Metal Gear has always revelled in gleeful impenetrability, straddling the line between serious melodrama and over-the-top ridiculousness. It's endearing in a way, as following Metal Gear's labyrinthine narrative is usually worth the effort needed to understand it, but if you're new to the series, or not willing to sift through pages of wiki articles, keeping track of its myriad characters can be a nightmare.

Metal Gear's characters are perhaps the most fluid of any video game franchise out there, as their allegiances (and even names) can change drastically from entry to entry. That's why I've compiled a list of the major players in Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain, their role in the overall franchise, as well as any other information we might possibly know about them. If you're wondering why Revolver Ocelot is working for Big Boss, or why young Eli seems to be so important, this article will give you a crash course in who's who in The Phantom Pain.

A quick note: This article assumes basic knowledge of the overall plot to the Metal Gear Solid franchise. I try to summarize where I can, but if you're completely new or want a refresher, be sure to check out .

Big Boss began his role in the Metal Gear series as its greatest villain, but thanks to decades of sequels, prequels, and retroactive continuity, his role in the timeline has become far more complex. Metal Gear Solid 3 introduces a Big Boss before he received his intimidating title, back when he was known by the callsign Naked Snake. Snake receives the title of Big Boss after saving the day by killing his closest friend and mentor, but then leaves the military and wanders from skirmish to skirmish, eventually forming a secret organization called The Patriots with Major Zero and Revolver Ocelot. Things seem hunky-dory until Zero decides to clone Big Boss without his consent, which doesn't really sit well with him. Big Boss leaves the Patriots, and eventually meets Kazuhira Miller, forming the Militaires Sans Frontieres (MSF), a private military company built for a new age of war.

Which leads us to Ground Zeroes, a brief mission that shows us the destruction of MSF by unknown forces and a helicopter crash that seems to place Big Boss in a nine-year-long coma. Up to this point, Big Boss hasn't exactly gone full-on evil yet. Morally gray and willing to build a massive organization of mercenaries, sure, but he's not finding war orphans, raising them as soldiers, and using them to create more war orphans, perpetuating the cycle of violence ad infinitum like he was in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake. So how does Big Boss get to that point? The Phantom Pain should shed some light on exactly how Big Boss will avenge his fallen comrades - and considering his new callsign is Punished/Venom Snake, it's probably not going to be pretty.

First revealed in , Ishmael is probably The Phantom Pain's most enigmatic character - and that's saying something when you compare him to the mysterious rogue's gallery already revealed.

Ishmael is a fellow hospital mate of Big Boss who claimed to be watching over him while he was in a coma for nine years. His face is completely bandaged, and he sounds like he's voiced by Kiefer Sutherland - which, coincidentally, is the same actor who voices Big Boss. Who is Ishmael? Is he another person, or merely a figment of our imagination? Whoever he is, he seems like he holds the key to The Phantom Pain's biggest secrets.

The first thing you'll probably notice about Quiet is her clothing - or, more accurately, her lack of clothing. The reason behind her manner of dress is apparently under as much lock and key as the reason why she's unwilling - or unable - to talk, but based on the , it would appear that your crew isn't exactly thrilled to bring her aboard.

What we do know about Quiet is that, at some point in the story, she meets up with Big Boss and joins forces, offering up her crack-shot sniping skills in the field. She'll post up on a cliff face or some form of high elevation, keeping watch for you through her sniper scope, marking enemies, and sending a bullet through their unfortunate faces at your command.

Skull Face doesn't seem like a very nice guy, if the cassette tapes found in Ground Zeroes are any indication. He holed up at Camp Omega for a while, taking time to torture both Chico and Paz, as well as a variety of other POWs and political prisoners. At the beginning of Ground Zeroes, he's seen taking off in a helicopter moments before Big Boss shows up, his face scarred beyond recognition.

Like many of the newly-revealed characters, not much is known of Skull Face, though the does shed some light on his origin. At a young age, Skull Face lost his nation, as well as the language of his native tongue, to foreign soldiers. Because of this, Skull Face wants to rid the world of language, uniting the world under "the chain of retaliation". The events of Ground Zeroes make it seem like he was the one who ordered the bomb to be placed inside Paz, causing the explosion that sent Big Boss into a coma, but then he's seen palling around with Big Boss at the end of that E3 trailer so… what the hell is going on?

This guy seems to get a new name with every single game he's in. Referred to as Master McDonnell Miller in Metal Gear Solid, then Kazuhira Miller in Peace Walker, now he's Benedict Miller. He was second-in-command of MSF during Peace Walker, and after its annihilation at the end of Ground Zeroes, he rejoins Big Boss to pick up the pieces, forming a new private military corporation called Diamond Dogs nine years later. Obsessed with revenge, Miller and Big Boss aim to take down Cipher once and for all in The Phantom Pain.

But here's the thing - eventually, Miller and Big Boss go their separate ways, as Master Miller ends up training soldiers for FOXHOUND, including one Solid Snake, while Big Boss secretly heads up Outer Heaven. Miller even serves as one of Solid Snake's contacts during Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, going so far as to call Big Boss a "monster" in the final encounter. Miller dies shortly before the events of Metal Gear Solid, as his body is found murdered in his Alaskan home during the Shadow Moses Incident. What caused the schism between the two comrades-in-arms? Or will this bit of information be retconned out of the series' timeline? Hopefully The Phantom Pain will provide some answers.

Introduced in Metal Gear Solid as a bitter rival to Solid Snake, future games in the series would paint him in a far more sympathetic light. He first met Big Boss during Operation Snake Eater, where Ocelot worked as a Russian GRU operative and secret Philosopher spy. After the events of Snake Eater, Ocelot and Big Boss would go on to form the Patriots, along with Major Zero. When Big Boss left, Ocelot remained with the Patriots, though he despised their policies. In the 1980s, he left the Patriots and rejoined Big Boss to help build the Diamond Dogs.

Despite playing villain to Solid Snake throughout his adventures, MGS4 informed us that Ocelot's loyalty always remained with Big Boss. Everything that happened in MGS 1, 2, and 4 - from siding with Liquid and Solidus Snake, to grafting his hand with Liquid's arm and allowing it to take control of his body - was all done to help Big Boss combat the Patriots. He dies at the end of MGS4, thanks to the FOXDIE virus inside Solid Snake's body.

The Emmerich family has a long history with building machines of war. Huey's father was one of the scientists that worked on the Manhattan Project, designing the atomic bombs that would decimate Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Huey would go on to work as a mechanical engineer, perfecting research discovered in Operation Snake Eater that would give way to the bipedal technology found on Metal Gear. He also designed Peace Walker in 1974, believing that it would provide the ultimate form of nuclear deterrence. His son, Hal (or Otacon, as he's also known), would go on to develop Metal Gear REX in Metal Gear Solid - but let's back up a bit.

Big Boss rescues Huey Emmerich during the events of Peace Walker and brings him into MSF to design Metal Gear ZEKE, a nuclear-equipped walking battlemech. Before the events of Ground Zeroes, government organizations are catching wind of MSF and rumors that they may be hiding nukes. Big Boss and Kazuhira Miller dismiss these allegations and deny their requests for an inspection, but Huey sends another message allowing them to go ahead with the investigation, with the team wrapping up as Big Boss returns from his rescue mission at Camp Omega. The investigation was likely a ruse, however, as Big Boss returned to find MSF under attack from an unknown force. Was Huey the reason MSF was invaded, or is he merely a patsy to a larger double-cross?

Eli's only been shown in a few trailers, and only in a brief handful of scenes, but he is most likely one of the clones created during the Les Enfants Terribles project. More specifically, he's probably Liquid Snake, the villain of Metal Gear Solid. First off, Eli is the right age to be Liquid, considering The Phantom Pain takes place in 1984, and the Les Enfants Terribles project began in the early 1970's. He's blond, he does the same fist-pump-then-hop-into-Metal-Gear bit that Liquid does in MGS, and the back of his jacket has a series of Japanese characters that loosely translate to "liquid man". Oh, and at , the camera hovers over him and another kid who looks exactly like him, while Big Boss says, "'Les Enfants Terribles', Zero called it." Yeah, the kid has to be Liquid Snake.

Anyway, according to Metal Gear Solid, Liquid Snake and his father Big Boss don't exactly have the best relationship. Liquid feels slighted because he ended up with all of the recessive genes while Solid ended up with the dominant genes, even though Liquid doesn't know that the reverse is actually true. His ultimate wish is to surpass his father and his genetic destiny, and his attempt to do this comes during the Shadow Moses Incident. He ultimately fails, falling victim to the FOXDIE virus harbored inside Solid Snake's body.

Not much is known about Code Talker, but the mentions that language is the one thing that can bring multiple cultures and nationalities together.

This is where The Phantom Pain gets a little weird. We've seen that shows a young child wearing a gas mask while floating in the air, along with the appearance of a menacing man engulfed in flames (possibly Colonel Volgin, the villain from Metal Gear Solid 3). Is the child Psycho Mantis, the master psychic introduced in Metal Gear Solid? Does that make the man on fire a psychokinetic apparition, or his he real, too? Or is something else going on here?

Paz originally called upon Big Boss at the beginning of Peace Walker to help rid her country of a mysterious invading force, but was, in actuality, a double-agent working for Cipher. Her job was to keep tabs on Big Boss, MSF, and the development of Metal Gear ZEKE. When her cover was blown, she tried to make off with ZEKE, attempting to kill Big Boss in the process. Big Boss foiled her plans, and Paz is flung into the ocean in an explosion.

Big Boss learns that Paz survived the blast and is being held prisoner at Camp Omega, a US black site on Cuban soil. Because she knows of MSF's and, subsequently, Metal Gear ZEKE's existence, Big Boss infiltrates the camp to rescue her. After exfiltrating Paz via helicopter, he discovers a bomb planted inside her abdomen, but misses a second bomb - the one that supposedly destroys the helicopter and places Big Boss into a nine-year-long coma. Paz should surely be dead, right? Well, shows a Paz who looks very much alive, and who hasn't aged a day since the incident in 1975.

Big Boss meets Chico during the Peace Walker Incident during a rescue mission. Chico's older sister, Amanda, was a comandante for the Sandinista National Liberation Front, and urges Big Boss to rescue her brother from the enemy's clutches. Big Boss finds the young boy weeping, having sold out the location of his comrades. Big Boss takes pity on him, recruiting him to fight alongside him with the rest of MSF. It's there that Chico befriends and develops a crush on Paz.

Fast forward to Ground Zeroes. Chico learns that Paz is being held at Camp Omega, and so he leaves on his own to find and rescue her, inevitably getting captured as a result. Big Boss rescues Chico along with Paz, and exfiltrates via chopper. He witnesses the destruction of MSF along with Big Boss, Paz, and Kazuhira Miller, and is inside the helicopter when the bomb hidden inside Paz goes off. Chico's fate is currently unknown.

Major Zero was a British SAS officer and MI6 operative before joining the CIA and heading up the FOX Unit, a black ops squad specializing in infiltration, along with The Boss. He was Naked Snake's commanding officer during the events of Metal Gear Solid 3, and would go on to form The Patriots after Revolver Ocelot recovered the Philosophers' Legacy.

While Major Zero and Big Boss were allies for a time, Zero's Les Enfants Terribles cloning project created a schism between the two, causing them to become bitter rivals. Zero renamed The Patriots to Cipher and went into hiding, using proxies to relay orders to his operatives. Cipher and Big Boss would spend the next several decades fighting with one another, beginning with the Peace Walker Incident in 1974. Their conflict would eventually come to a head in 2014, as Big Boss finally ends Major Zero's life, putting a stop to The Patriots and Cipher once and for all.

While there's no word on whether Major Zero will actually make an appearance in The Phantom Pain, Skull Face and Paz make several references to Cipher throughout various cassette tapes in Ground Zeroes. Major Zero may never show his face, but it's likely that Cipher's shadow will hang over the proceedings like a storm cloud, and it's there's a good chance that , describing how he's found a way to make "the Boss' vision a reality".

Today/tonight (depending on your timezone), Bungie is taking to Twitch for a proper, in-depth reveal of : year two. Kickstarted by the mammoth Taken King expansion on September 15, this is going to be less a continuation, more a reboot. The old levelling system has gone. Many of your old weapons have gone. We're getting new enemies, new missions, new spins on old missions, and even whole new types of mission, alongside a whole bunch of new ways to play in the Crucible. But while we know what The Taken King is going to do in general terms, we don't know the details. Or at least we didn't, until now.

You see Bungie has released a trailer for the reveal (the stream happens live at 11am PST / 7pm BST), and although short, it's packed with details. In fact, there's so much going on, presented in all manner of suspiciously specific ways, that we can't help but suspect that Bungie is pre-revealing its reveal in condensed form for the most eagle-eyed of Destiny players to decipher. In fact we're sure that's what's going on. Because we are those players. And we've worked out loads of stuff. Click on.

Righty, here’s the overall gist of how the new levelling system works then. We already knew that the Light-focused system – whereby you can only progress past level 20 by accumulating a high enough total of Light attached to your armour – is going, to be replaced by a far less complicated, and far less grindy, traditional XP system. But now we know how equipment is going to play into that.

It seems that Light on gear ratings still exist, only now, rather than defining your level, they factor into your overall attack and defense ratings, your XP level dictating the quality of gear you can equip at any given time. In all, it’s not too different from any traditional RPG. You level up, you equip better stuff, you get stronger and more dangerous as a result of equipping that stuff. The only difference is that your ultimate attack and defense ratings will be decided by an average of your Light tally, not a total. Presumably this means an additional, ambient buff to existing attack and defense, rather the complete dissolution of traditional gear stats, but we’ll find out soon.

This is very interesting. ‘Exotic Blueprints’? Seems we’re getting our first look at how Exotic levelling will carry through from year one to year two, You might remember that Bungie has already revealed that year one Legendary weapons won’t be upgraded to year two standard, but the studio has remained resolutely quiet about the big yellow monsters. Well it looks like – while it’s still not 100% clear – we might have something to work with now.

First up, that division of the inventory into ‘Year 1’ and ‘Year 2’ is intriguing, particularly when you consider that there are duplicates between the two sections. Notice Monte Carlo and The Last Word, present in both the year one and year two sections? They’re slightly redesigned for year two, but it’s definitely them. This probably isn’t a historical collection we’re looking at here. It looks like you’ll be able to acquire a year two specced version of your existing Exotics, as well as discovering new ones. The physical redesign of the weapons - and use of the word 'blueprints' -certainly hints that we might be looking at new, Exotic 2.0 models rather than straight upgrades. Though whether all year one Exotics will make it through to year two remains to be seen. Our guess would be ‘no’. *cough*Gjallarhorn*cough*

Legendary Marks seem to be Destiny’s new currency for the majority of its gear. We’re highly hopeful they’re being used to unify the world’s economy under one denomination. Because let’s face it, Destiny’s various currencies started out relatively complex, and only got worse as around a thousand more were added over the course of year one’s updates and patches.

Looks like things might be getting a lot better and a lot more straightforward now though – a recurring theme in The Taken King. Legendary Marks are acquired from Daily activities and by dismantling Legendary gear (seeming to directly replace the now redundant Ascendant Energy and Ascendant Shards in that respect, both of which were used only in Destiny’s old, now defunct gear-upgrade system). Previously we had to use Crucible Marks or Vanguard Marks to purchase gear from vendors, depending on the respective shop’s allegiance, but you’ll notice that the video – probably very deliberately – shows Legendaries being used at the Crucible store. The next clip (starting at 0:23) very specifically shows 10 LMs being dropped at the end of a mission, so expect them to be relatively abundant, but not guaranteed.

If there’s one thing that Destiny’s PvE activities need in order to shake things up, it’s more Quests. When we’ve seen them in brief flashes – appearing as chains of mini-objectives in the two add-ons so far – they’ve been great, but all-too brief. Threading such smaller stories through the main ‘campaign’ line, independent from the core missions, has added a much more organic feel to Destiny’s story and world, but alas this stuff has always been over far too soon.

But now it seems that Quests will be a continual, always-present element of the game, 32 able to be open at any given time. And a quick skim of the currently shown Quests’ titles and descriptions is very interesting. They seem to act as background and side-stories to the main plot-line, which is highly intriguing, with plenty of original, unrelated tales to flesh things out too.

It seems that faction vendor loyalty is getting a rather shiny shake-up. Where currently, you can level up your reputation with the Future War Cult, Dead Orbit or New Monarchy by equipping their special class items to replace Vanguard and Crucible Point accrual with faction favour (in exchange for the ability to buy their specific, higher-level gear), it looks like loyalty will now be a slightly more formal, but far more cool-looking affair.

Cementing an allegiance in year two seems a simple case of saying ‘Yes’ to the vendor in question, with your ability to switch allegiances now limited to once-a-week frequency. The pay-off, though? It looks like you’ll be able to collect faction reputation at the same time as Vanguard or Crucible Points, and rather than looking like any other gear you might find, faction-specific merchandise is branded up in all kinds of cool ways. Take a look at the next slide to see how natty it looks.

It’s not 100% clear whether these designs are inherent to faction gear, or applied via faction-exclusive shaders, but either way, holy crap.

For those serious about building up their XP stash – and now that XP is the core means of levelling up, that should be everyone – this is a very big deal. We’ve all bemoaned our inability to pick up every Bounty we want to on a particular day, and this should solve that in one big hit.

Plus, you know, without increased Bounty access, year two’s levelling system basically would just not work. So, er, good job on making it work, Bungie.

We knew that new Ghost skins were coming, but now we can (sort of) see them. The whole purple-and-gold colour scheme looks rather classy indeed. No idea what they do yet, mind.

The trailer is topped and tailed with his appearances. Nolan North’s new Ghost aside, he’ll be the new main voice in your ear, a la Eris, Petra Venj and Variks. Given his affable nature and long-suffered pining for his adventuring glory days, he should be a hell of a lot of fun to have around. Oh, and did we mention that he's secretly Nathan Fillion under that mask? Yes. That.

We know that Artifacts are a new equippable item in year two. And we reckon this is one. You can also see differently coloured versions in the screens depicting the Crucible shop. We’re not 100% sure what they do yet, but given that they appear on your Guardian screen below your class items, we strongly suspect that they’ll imbue passive buffs. Think of them as Destiny’s equivalent of Final Fantasy’s relics or accessories, until we hear any different.

Another vague one, but it’s a good bet that these will be an evolved version of the current game’s emblems.

We really have no idea. Guesses?

When used responsibly and approached in good faith, DLC can add a lot to a game, building on an already stellar experience until it feels . But, at the other end of the spectrum, DLC can be all about the baubles, where you throw down cash for digital costumes alone. They don't actually affect the game in any measureable way, but seriously, doesn't Hitomi look fierce in that ninja getup? And while a few digital outfits here and there won't a money-suck make, some games take it too far. Way too far. "You could have put a down payment on a new car with the money you just spent on digital outfits" too far.

Recently I've fostered a morbid fascination with the shamelessness of DLC cosmetics, and the desire to find out just how much you can spend on imaginary clothes has been burning inside my heart like an overlarge pile of money. In my search for the game with the most expensive cosmetic DLC, I have made some fascinating and terrible discoveries, and here I present them to you. Horse armor's got nothing on these boudoirs.

Total cost: $45/£30/43€

I can already feel you giving me a weird look, readers, and it's true that you can't dress Dom up as Princess Peach or buy Marcus a festive Christmas hat. But there is a cosmetic feature you can shell out way too much money for in Gears of War 3 to show off your creative fashion sense: weapon skins. The comprehensive Weapon Skin Launch Collection pack comes with 22 different skins to make any weapon in the multiplayer look like a .

You're going to pay a shocking price for that sweet weapon wardrobe though, because the Launch Collection costs more than the actual game regardless of what region you're in. And don't go thinking you'll save some cash by buying separately: grabbing the four weapon-specific packs will run you $60 (£40/57€), and going through the Xbox Marketplace buying each skin individually is an assault on sanity that no living being should have to face.

Total cost: $62/£53/64€

Dynasty Warriors is all about being big and brassy, whether in combat or the cost of its warriors' wear. However, one region gets a better deal: though the US PlayStation Store boasts three costume packs totaling up to $62 worth of virtual outfits, the PAL region only gets the DW8XLCE - DW7 Original Costume Pack Sets 1 and 2 (really rolls off the tongue), and the four DW8XLCE - Original Costume Packs separately, which adds up to a slightly higher price tag. Not sure who made that call, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was whoever decided only Americans would ever buy a $10 wallpaper pack, too.

Granted, the price tag at least gets you a decent amount of digital cloth, since you can snag a full 207 different costumes across armies no matter where you live. That's 30¢ per costume, or 26p / 0,31€. That's way cheaper than the cost of real clothes, so that kind of makes it worth it, right?

Total cost: $78/£50/70€

It's not exactly shocking to see Hatsune Miku on this list, as much of what the Vocaloid diva does while you're playing the game is dance in the background and look cute. Why not throw in some adorable costumes to make her job easier? Surprisingly, Hatsune Miku Project Diva F didn't do much of that, offering only six DLC costumes for fashion-hungry players to purchase. Diva F 2nd makes up for that obvious error in judgment, with $78 worth of costume content to Diva F's $6.00. Quite the wardrobe upgrade.

All told, that nets you 45 different outfits in the Costume Club pack, which will run you a cool $70 from the get-go. But oddly enough, that isn't a complete collection of all the game's costumes, so you have to purchase the Extra Characters Extended Pack and the Americana module by themselves to get the full set. Hopefully that extra $8 doesn't break the bank.

Total cost: $90/£58.50/85.50€

In an effort to prove that it's more than a cheesecake game that also has some wrestling in it (or maybe reinforce the idea?), Rumble Roses XX beefed up its costume closet with an extra 90 outfits between 15 of the fighters to add on an extra dress up element. Which, of course, you have to pay for. Dearly. For the same price as , you can purchase every Rumble Roses XX for a cool $1 per.

That might still sound reasonable to some super fans, but keep in mind that many of those costumes are just basic recolors, like the egregious example shown above. Plus, any outfit with SS attached to the title (a full 36 of the 90) isn't new, but a version of that character's outfit that can be worn by any of the other girls. Seems like a rip-off, but if you subscribe to the school of fashion, it might be worth the money.

Total cost: $142/£109/135€

Poor Evolve. After a strong showing leading up to the game's release and plenty of kind words on launch day, its player count has since dwindled significantly after only a few months. While its dogpile-style gameplay , it's hard to ignore how DLC played a part, with a lot of content being walled off until players coughed up the cash for new monsters and hunters. One of the most egregious examples is Evolve's hunter and monster skin sets. They're separate from any other packs, so you really are just buying skins, and you're set to spend three times the cost of the game itself if you want to poach them all.

Individual skins have at least been grouped together into sets based on theme, so for instance, any pack labeled 'Medic' will work for any base-game Medic character you want to want toting a cooler-looking weapon. Unfortunately, that means each set offers only one costume per character, and oddly, they don't work for any DLC comrades or beasts you want to bring online. So if you only intend to play as Lennox or don the flesh of the Behemoth, save your money. These grounds are fallow.

Total cost: $162/£124/161€

In a bid to get DLC-happy fans interested in the second Xillia game, Namco made sure all the downloadable costumes for Xillia 1 would also be accessible in Xillia 2, and vice versa. In the US, the combined price tag for both Xillia costume sets will push you into shop-a-holic territory, with $160 worth of outfits available between the two. But in the UK and the rest of Europe, the first Xillia only has a single costume pack to its name, so the combined price is… even more somehow?

That gets even more confusing when you get into a discussion of packs: in the US you have to buy each outfit individually, and while there are packs available in the UK and Europe, you'll still have to buy the majority individually if you want the full set. Wherever you live, that should give you plenty of time to consider your life choices as you go. Of course, if the announcement of is anything to go by, Namco is betting you won't.

Total cost: $279/£222/90€

Talk about sticker shock. When fans first learned that Last Round would feature two launch day costume packs coming in at $93 (£74/90€) a piece, the idea wasn't exactly met with enthusiasm, and that was before a third pack was announced in the months that followed. But, while fan reaction can be summed up in a narrow-eyed stare, the Last Round costume situation actually could be worse. No, really. Total up the individual cost of the costumes in just one of those packs, and the resulting price tag lands in the $750 range.

That isn't to say that any of these bundles are a good deal (those $93 real dollars will get you as little as 78 costumes if you look at Season Pass 1), just that it's collectively cheaper to buy them than compile every costume piecemeal. If you're really into DoA, you might benefit from the , which features all 237 DLC costumes available for DoA 5 pre-Last Round. But the two season passes, which feature significantly fewer outfits and mock you with one exclusive costume each, seem tantamount to highway robbery. Plus, if you really like DoA you've probably already bought most of those old costumes, in which case I am so, so sorry.

Total cost: $470+/£350+/367€+

This is where things start getting hard to parse, as games replete with costume options throw out mini-packs and individual outfits in lieu of all-encompassing bundles, so its hard to tell whether you really got everything. Case in point is LittlebigPlanet 3, which combines the offerings of every LBP into its inventory and organizes them about as neatly as a tornado. There are thankfully comprehensive packs for different franchises, so you can at least be assured you're getting every BioShock Infinite or Muppets costume if you buy the associated pack. But if you desperately want every single outfit available, get ready to pay $470 for the packs alone, plus extra for any individuals that slip through the cracks.

Credit where credit is due, this setup at least gives you options if you only want one or two costumes, so you don't have to buy the entire Frozen collection just to get that adorable moose ensemble. But the absence of bundles for each LBP game makes gathering them all a rough job for any collector, especially when it gets into those individual items. If you're seriously planning on taking the plunge, at least let someone know your plans. At some point you might need a rescue party.

Total cost: $950/£609/858€

IdolM@ster 2, a "raising sim" where you raise up teen idols to become superstars, is notoriously difficult to navigate outside its country of origin, and you'll have to scramble through quite a few technical loopholes to be able to download its DLC idol outfits on anything but a Japanese system. But it can be done, and many who get that far go the distance when it comes to collecting DLC costumes, to the tune of almost a grand.

Costumes aren't the only thing you can download from IdolM@ster's DLC collection, or even the most ridiculous - you can also pay real money to download emails from the idols, because the developers are clearly screwing with people at this point. But the vast majority of what's available are costumes of different types, from cutesy to "luxury", and they just keep stacking up. In a way, the fact that it's so hard for many to get ahold of these outfits is a blessing in disguise: it makes it that much harder for you to do this to yourself. A built-in intervention, in a way.

Total cost: $3195/£2324/2577€

Between the 126 champions it has on the roster, League has tossed out over 500 different skins at different price points, so just tallying them is a behemoth task. Thankfully reddit user Perezthe1st and got a result that will make any collector queasy: buying every League skin at full price will run you upwards of $3000.

Now, there's a case to be made that no one will actually drop that much cash on character attire. But keep in mind that this is LOL, where players are known to spend . It may not be common, but Riot put those skins out there, and now the temptation is real. Someone, somewhere has them all.

Total cost: $3315/£2127/2992€

"I didn't choose the train life," murmurs a diehard Train Simulator fan as they buy ten new locomotive skins, a tear sliding down their cheek, heavy with the weight of their eternal burden. That's how I imagine it would go anyway, because I know I'd be holding back tears if I committed to buying every DLC for Train Simulator, or even just the train skins. Of the $5322.55 worth of downloadable content that Train Simulator is hauling, a gut-wrenching $3315.17 is exclusively for what I can best sum up as "train clothes" for your fleet of iron horses.

Part of the reason the price is so high is because you have to pay out the nose for each individual pack, which contain about two skins each and cost an average of $20. With nearly 200 packs on the market right now and more constantly on the way - like a surging river of DLC that will crush our feeble mortal bodies beneath its mighty swell - the price is set to keep climbing into perpetuity. And according to developers themselves? Someone out there probably . The train life chose them.

It hasn’t even opened to the public yet, and the Black Ops 3 Beta is already an intimidating place to be. I’ve already played against folk who are in excess of level 20, so they’ve been going at the game hard and already know the layout of the three maps currently available. They’ve been getting used to the new movement system too, which does take a little acclimatising to. However, there’s plenty of room for newcomers too, and even raw recruits have a chance to nail the killstreaks and top the leaderboards. With that in mind, here is some advice if you’re joining up for the first time.

Click through for more, and check out our exclusive Beta footage below.

It was a well-known console franchise - Super Monkey Ball - that first showcased the iPhone's gaming capabilities, back in 2007. But the iPhone certainly didn't become the home of console conversions. After several early attempts tried (and mostly failed) to emulate the console experience on mobile, the two platforms went their separate ways.

The touch-screen controls, lack of a universal (and cheap) controller and totally different attitude towards purchases have proven... 'problematic'. But even so, I sincerely believe the following console games would nonetheless be even better on iPhone. Yes, I do feel OK, thank you - why do you ask?

It's almost as though Animal Crossing was designed for a mobile phone. The hardware has a consistent clock for real-world calendar functionality. It's always connected so friends can visit easily. It is intended to be played every day when you have a few minutes, and opens and closes easily.

The game's cute, colourful graphics would perfectly suit iPhone. The multi-touch interface would be even better than 3DS' stylus control for inventory management, minigames and rearranging furniture. DLC could be provided automatically, there could be cross-save functionality with an iPad edition (which would also be fantastic)… basically this is an iPhone game ON THE WRONG PLATFORM.

Back in the halcyon days of 1997, I tried playing Wipeout 2097 with my Sega Saturn's Arcade Racer steering wheel. The wheel has no pedals, and no rumble, let alone Force Feedback. But you know what? It felt amazing with Wipeout. That sensation of not being in contact with anything that made Sega Rally Championship feel so detached was instantly a bonus. It felt like I was piloting an anti-gravity machine.

So the floaty, gyroscopic control of an iPhone would surely feel amazing with Wipeout. You could dive or pull the nose up through subtle tilting, and this ease of motion would leave your thumbs free for braking and firing your weapons. AG Drive has proven that iPhone can handle beautiful anti-gravity race tracks, but Wipeout is a volved and driveable experience. iPhone would feel better than analogue sticks in this instance, I'm sure of it.

Flying games don't always feel as good as perhaps they should on the iPhone, but Pilotwings' more nuanced, deliberate controls would suits gentle titling far better than coaxing your glider through the skies using a thumbstick or circle pad.

The beauty of the environments would benefit massively from the retina display, too, and the pick-up-and-play nature of its short challenges would also be perfect for those 'I've got six more minutes until the past's cooked' moments.

This may sound like an odd choice, but it's actually very similar to several iOS concepts that worked well. Prope Discoverer and Epic Citadel that focused on creating a beautiful, explorable environment that pushed the platform's graphical capabilities while providing a slow-paced, interaction-light experience. Even so, they were fascinating.

Those concepts share many features with Everybody's Gone to the Rapture. Recreating The Cinese Room's beautiful and startlingly naturalistic visuals on mobile would be a tricky task, but iPhone 6 is certainly capable of giving it a good go. And the slow-paced, observation-heavy gameplay is perfect for the touch screen's interface. A gyroscopic 'look' function would also add to the experience.

OK, so this isn't even out yet, but the premise arguably suits a multitouch display better than Wii U's single-touch input. Sure, the iPhone's screen is small, but imagine using the pinch to zoom in and out of your created level, then drag blocks and enemies onto the scene. It would work so smoothly.

And if you're concerned about the controls of actually playing the game being imprecise, don't forget there are game pads available for iPhones. You could enjoy the pixel-perfect 2D platforming experience anywhere, make levels anywhere and upload them for your friends to enjoy – you guessed it – anywhere.

OK, this isn't even a thing on consoles any more, let alone iPhone. But imagine the terror if using an iPhone's gyroscoping motion sensing control to look around the hallway and bathroom in real-time. You literally wouldn't want to turn around for fear of Lisa waiting to scream at you.

Imagine doing that in the dark, with headphones on. Seeing as the game was always free anyway, acting as a teaser for the now-never-to-be-release Silent Hills, that would have been the cheapest laxative available. Such a pity it'll never happen.

UPDATE for August 17: 13 more superstars were revealed today - again, a bit sooner than planned, by way of some ingenious internet detective work on the - including the debuting Hideo Itami, and two wrestlers returning to the series after missing out in 2K15: Zack Ryder and Heath Slater. Also, even more NXT, which is just great. That takes the number of confirmed wrestlers to 56 – you can see the full list at the end of this gallery.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE: While Yuke's' official WWE series has garnered mixed reviews in recent years, one area it’s always strong in is attention to detail outside of the ring, specifically arenas, wrestler entrances, and t-shirts worn by members of the crowd. In fact that latter apparel-based matter has become a flawless, ambient tie-up with each game's roster over the years. Simply, if a WWE superstar or diva is in the game, so too is their official merchandise, and vice versa. As a result, 2K’s recent of Finn Balor and Seth Rollins’ entrances inadvertently blows a good deal more future reveals, unveiling - at least to eagle-eyed fans - another 22 roster members in WWE 2K16 who haven’t yet been ‘officially’ announced.

With more than 120 wrestlers featured in the upcoming edition, there’s been a clamour for stars both old and new to join current-era combatants like John Cena and Randy Orton. And on this evidence, 2K and Yuke’s have delivered. Stalwarts The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and The Rock are joined by the returning Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart, while NXT standouts Baron Corbin, Enzo Amore and Charlotte are among this year’s debutants. For all 22 in-game characters unveiled in this way, and an updated list of every guy and gal revealed so far, read on…

Well, duh. Like the great one was going to miss out on a WWE game for the first time in forever. Rocky’s inclusion rounds out the names revealed so far to 56, just over one-third of the final line-up. That makes the full, current list (*deep breath*)…

Adam Rose, Bad News Barrett, Baron Corbin, Bo Dallas, Booker T, Bray Wyatt, Bret Hart, Brie Bella, Brock Lesnar, Cesaro, Charlotte, Col Mustafa, Colin Cassady, Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Emma, Enzo Amore, Eva Marie, Finn Balor, General Adnan, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jey Uso, John Cena, Jimmy Uso, Kalisto, Kane, Kevin Owens, Lord Steven Regal, The Miz, Natalya, Neville, Nikki Bella, Paige, Ric Flair, The Rock, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, Shawn Michaels, Sin Cara, Stardust, Sting, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Summer Rae, Tamina, The Terminator, Triple H, Tyler Breeze, Tyson Kidd, Ultimate Warrior, The Undertaker, Zack Ryder.

It's impossible to deny the epic scale of religious histories. That may help to explain why so many video games take such inspiration in their theologies (here's looking at you multiple Jesus-clone messiah protagonists). In essence, they're a ready-made source of rich and detailed adventures with profound resonance, their enduring popularity and name-recognition long-since assured. What publisher wouldn't want that?

Of course, the other side of the equation looks a little less rosy. The odds of offending large swathes of your potential player base only increase when tapping into existing religions, meaning most developers using them play around with their presentation to a greater or lesser degree. The following seven games all opted to take that risk, representing complex belief systems via the interactive medium. Some edged closer to the sacred scripture than others, but all shall be judged of their worthiness. Do any of these games offer a worthwhile introduction to the great gamut of the gods? Let's find out.

Developer Silicon Knights envisaged Too Human as an attempt to rationalise complex Norse theology via futuristic technology. Here the gods of the pantheon are not born, but made, granted their astounding powers through advanced cybernetic augmentation. In place of the nine realms of existence, Too Human supposes a singular planet, broken up into numerous distinct sectors, such as the human city of Midgard. Their implacable opposition - the giant folk of Jötnar, are now sentient machines, while the likes of Beowulf's Grendel and the menacing Dark Elves become simple boss and enemy types.

As for the game's hero, Baldur - god of light, joy, purity and presumably also lollypops - Too Human opts to introduce us to a much gruffer deity. Expanding upon the most famous of all Baldur stories - his untimely death (as orchestrated by the mischievous half-god Loki), Too Human takes both this and other existing legends as the basis for an entirely new saga, one based upon rebirth and ultimately revenge. As an introduction to Norse theology, Too Human represents a strong and surprisingly accurate start, familiarising players with the names, relationships and dwelling places of these Germanic-Scandinavian gods. If you can ignore the sci-fi trimmings, shoddy gameplay and freshly expanded lore, then Too Human is a good a way as any to begin your ongoing course in Norse.

See Also - Age of Mythology, Jotun (2016), Viking: Battle for Asgard

Strange as it may sound, the single most inaccurate element of the entire God of War franchise is the game's ongoing depiction of central character Kratos. Indeed, far from being the frenzied father-stabber that he appears in the games, the theological Kratos is instead counted among the most zealously loyal of Zeus' retinue. He's also considered the God of Strength, as opposed to the demi-god and later God of War he's portrayed as in the games. That being the case, it seems highly likely that Sony Santa Monica chose the name Kratos as an ironic nod to the original character, inverting not only his loyalties but also on occasion his actions. Case in point, the scene in which a virtual Kratos frees the heroic titan Prometheus, having done just the opposite according to the original Greek narrative.

Like many of the games on this list, the God of War franchise positively excels in taking existing theological legends and using them to create new and exciting adventures. One such example is the renewed Titan vs. God war, the big round two of an event that dominates much of the ancient theology. While Kratos' actions may not bear much relation to the stories upon which his world is based, God of War remains a fine foreword to the rest of ancient Greek mythology. After all, what better way to become accustomed to the characters, places and epic tales than by cutting a bloody swathe right through them?

See Also - Age of Mythology, Disney's Hercules, NyxQuest: Kindred Spirits, Spartan: Total Warrior, Titan Quest

Despite some rather obvious parallels Okami's exact relationship to the Shinto theology remains somewhat difficult to define. That's because the team at Clover Studios has always tended towards a vague and imprecise language when discussing that facet of the project. Game director Hideki Kamiya argues that Okami's characters, in particular Amaterasu, are not necessarily the same as those found in the Shinto faith, though they do share a great deal in common. It's possible that this tack was taken simply to avoid offending believers, though it could also indicate an intentional level of ambiguity.

Familiarities (and differences) include the aforementioned Amaterasu, goddess of the sun in both Shinto tradition and in Okami. Interestingly however, no mention of wolves or wolf-form is ever made in reference to the Shinto deity, while the virtual version is neither strictly male nor female, at least not in the Japanese version of the game (translation difficulties forced the team to pick an English pronoun i.e. he or she, thereby confusing the issue). As for the game's celestial brush gods, none appear to correspond directly with Shinto deities, but are instead based upon the Far Eastern Zodiac signs. Susano meanwhile appears somewhat similar to the Shinto hero Susano-o - both of whom are famous for slaying (or helping to slay) an 8-headed serpent named Orochi. As a guide to Shinto deities, Okami is hardly authoritative, not would the game's designers have you believe that it is. All told, those wishing to learn more about Shinto via the game should probably support their playthrough with the odd spot of research.

See Also - Okamiden

Basing a game on the tenets of an active religion is always going to prove tricky. Basing a game on two even more so. Asura's Wrath manages to monkey around with details of both the Hindu and Buddhist faiths (the two groups share a number of common legends, including those drawn from the Indian epic The Rigveda). That's not to say that either side became too irate about it, most just balking at the perceived inaccuracies. So what exactly did the game get right, and more importantly, what did it get wrong? Well for starters, the game - much like Too Human - opts to take the sci-fi reinvention route, trading in powerful demi-gods for massively upgraded cyber soldiers.

Speaking of demi-gods, the term Asura actually applies to all beings of this type, not just to any one individual. The game also leaves out the more benevolent set of deities known as the Devas, although the game's final boss Chakravartin may be considered as such. While religious tradition holds that the two sets of gods waged war upon each other, Asura's Wrath finds these so-called 'Guardian Generals' (i.e. the Asura) battling it out against the Gohma, a race of hideous monsters led by Vlitra, a planet-devouring serpent similar to Vritra, an evil demigod from Hindu Vedic tradition. The Gohma, meanwhile, appear to have little to no basis in religious texts. All things considered the game does present a solid introduction to the Asura deities, not individually perhaps but rather as a group, nailing their look, temperament and abilities as recounted in various religious texts. The rest, however remains somewhat less authentic.

You might expect that there'd be a litany of titles covering the ancient Egyptian pantheon, and you'd be right, though precious few of those exist outside of the god game and RTS genres. Consider Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy a rare exception to that rule, dealing as it does with the likes of Ra, Set, Osiris and co. through the format of an action-platformer. The game stars Sphinx, an upright, decidedly more human take on the beastly man-lion hybrids that guard many an Egyptian temple. Truth be told, this incarnation is little more than a teenager with a tail, though other ancient icons ring truer. Horus has his falcon head, Anubis is a jackal and Tutankhamen is covered from head to tow in bandages. Likewise, King Tut's mummification also results in the storage of four sacred organs, just as it would have in ancient days.

Interestingly however, the game also chooses to shift around several well-established relationships. Tutankhamen's mother and father become his lover and brother, respectively, head honcho Ra is created via the union of Osiris and Set - as opposed to being his own independent deity - and Osiris' son Horus is now working for Set, instead of actively trying to murder him. These elements aside, Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy does an entertaining job of familiarising fans with the unique iconography - think ankhs, amulets and sarcophagi - as well as many of the major players of the ancient Egyptian tradition.

See Also - Age of Mythology, Pharaoh, Ankh: Battle of the Gods

Alright, first things first - Dante Alighieri's Inferno isn't exactly considered canon by the Christian church. However the epic poem does make use of, and even helped to inform, certain elements of popular Christian theology. Suffice to say, this blood and guts actioner shouldn't be taken as a literal guide to Christian tradition, but rather as the retelling of an influential Christian myth. So, how does it fare? Well, much like the gameplay itself, largely hit and miss. Alighieri's epic poem stars none other than the author himself, indulging in a brisk walking tour of the nine levels of Hell. Digital Dante, meanwhile finds himself recast as a fighting knight of the third Crusade, wading through the underworld so as to free his beleaguered lover from Satan's icy grip.

The game does get a lot right, including the presence of Roman poet Virgil, who acts as guide to both iterations of Dante. Likewise, many of the levels of Hell, and the punishments performed therein, reflect those originally envisaged by the writer. Other translations prove less authentic, with the knife-wielding babies of the purgatory level proving particularly false. So too the use of Cleopatra as a willing servant of Satan, as opposed to the simple prisoner she appears in the poem. Strangest of all however, is the inclusion of an absolve/punish mechanic for beaten enemies. Somehow it seems difficult to believe that the Church would sign off on an admitted sinner forgiving other offenders their sins. All in all then, a decent visual trip through quasi-Christian tradition, chock full of crosses, demons and holy iconography. Just take it with a massive pinch of salt.

See Also - Super Noah's Ark 3D?

A surprisingly popular tradition, at least where video game settings are concerned, the world of Celtic theology entirely informs the 2007 RPG Folklore. The title takes place in a small country village that just so happens to act as a functioning gateway to a bizarre realm of the dead. In keeping with Celtic tradition, this fissure only appears once every year - on the night of Samhain, to be precise, a major inspiration for modern Hallowe'en - leading the spirits of the dead to revisit our world, as adventurous peoples head off in the other direction. Folklore's depiction of this netherworld is largely in keeping with that of the ancient Celts, drawn an underground paradise - known alternatively as Mag Mell or Tír na nÓg - made up of strange and fantastical creatures.

These inhabitants, or 'folk' will occasionally attempt to kill the player (somewhat less authentic, though as the game explains, other adventurers have previously 'broken' the paradise) and are largely modelled after fabled Celtic creatures. Taken as a whole, the game provides a strong overview of ancient Celtic theology, though crucially it does gloss over the role of the actual gods, including Balor, Crom and Morrigan. As such, it might better be described as a game of mythology, or as the title itself states, folklore.

See Also - Bloodforge (much greater focus on the Gods - terrible, terrible game), Hellblade (2016), Sorcery

Sometimes it's the simple things in life that make the greatest difference. Consider the minigame: a bite-sized experience nestled within a larger video game. We all know some terrible examples - ones that force you to complete arbitrary nonsense so mind-bogglingly boring, you'd rather watch your theoretical future son be left at the theoretical future altar by his theoretical future spouse then finish one more hacking puzzle.

But every now and again, a minigame comes along that cuts through this bleak miasma of mediocrity with the shining rays of clever game design. Like a fine wine or exquisite, European cheese, this minigame is the perfect blend of complexity and accessibility. It's ingenious systems keep you coming back time and again, sometimes siphoning hours from the main storyline; or in extreme cases, eclipsing it completely. What follows are the creme de la creme; peerless minigames that will deliver your son from his theoretical, future heartache.

Video games have a rich history of card game sidequests (some of which are included later in this list). The Witcher 3's Gwent is certainly among the best, even without the . It's a trading card game built around speed and efficiency. You can tailor your deck to fit a certain playstyle. You can fake out your opponent with different tricks and strategies during a match. But the most refreshing thing about Gwent is that it will end - no matter what - in three rounds or less.

The limited play time adds gravitas to each card placed on the table. Strategies must be decided upon quickly, and their results are felt almost instantly. A bad call in the first round could easily lead to an early defeat in the second. Unless that first round was a feint; a ploy to lure your opponent into wasting their best cards. Gwent, like all great TCGs, is a game of calculated risks. What's nice is that it doesn't take another 45 minutes to see if your bet paid off.

This unassuming casino game hides an interesting mix of Minesweeper and Sudoku. Just like in Minesweeper, you want to reveal all the panels on the grid that do not contain mines (or, in this case, Voltorbs). Revealing one of those is an instant Game Over. Avoiding the Voltorbs is where the Sudoku aspect comes into play. With a bit of mathematical reasoning - and luck - you can deduce which tiles are most likely to contain Voltorbs based on the clues provided and which tiles you've already flipped over.

For example, look at the screenshot above. You see the red box in the bottom left-hand corner? The '02' means the numbers in the column add up to two, while the '3' next to angry-face Voltorb means three of the tiles are Voltorbs. Each row and column is labeled like this, and by comparing them all against each other, you can puzzle out where the Voltorbs are hiding. It's basically one big logic puzzle, and clearing a really challenging board feels like you've achieved Holmesian-levels of deductive reasoning.

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Winning at Command Board feels just like winning at Monopoly. While you're swimming in an ocean of cash, your opponents are stuck paddling around the board bleeding money at every turn. It's a . But the Monopoly comparisons don't stop there. You earn your fortunes by buying up colored spaces on the board and - stop me if you've heard this before - improving those spaces so that their rent increases. And you better believe that owning all the spaces of an identical color nets you a hefty rent multiplier. The only thing missing is a diminutive old chap with a cane and tophat.

A well-executed game of Command Board is really a thing of beauty. When you exploit the board to its fullest, snag the high-traffic sections you want, and exploit those territories for all they're worth, it makes victory taste that much sweeter. To help speed the game along, each player can also spend cards for special abilities - such as rolling three dice instead of one - to tilt the odds in their favor. The only real drawback is the braindead AI, which can only stumble blindly into victory when the stars align and Lady Luck has completely abandoned you.

used to invoke images of Fallout 3's word search or BioShock's rip-off of Pipe Dreams. But Deus Ex: Human Revolution puts them all to shame. Its hacking challenges require you to think fast, act faster, and juggle about a half-dozen tasks all at once. Your objective is clear: bypass a series a nodes until you reach the one controlling whatever it is you're hacking. Along the way, there are various bonus nodes you can hack for extra credits or items, but doing so will almost always trigger the security AI. And once that's done, your hack becomes a mad dash for the virtual finish line.

The security AI is basically doing the opposite of what you're doing, only with the efficiency of a machine. It wants to reach you, you want to reach the final node. You can slow down the AI by reinforcing nodes you've already captured, or by using special programs you've collected to disable it temporarily. This is where the juggling act starts, as you jump between reinforcing some nodes, capturing others, using programs to maintain control, and more. It's a fun minigame that throws just enough techno-jargon at you to make you feel like a hacker.

thanks to its wonderfully challenging platforming, quirky personality, and a little soccer distraction called Kung Foot.

At first, you won't even notice this totally optional minigame because it's unassumingly tucked away in the main menu. But once you hop into it for the first time with a friend or two in tow, it's nigh impossible to escape its addictive grasp. It's so simple: You just run around trying to kick a soccer ball into the opponent's goal by using the platforming and physics established by Legends' campaign. Hours turn into days, days into months, and before you know it you'll have missed the birth of your child - a heinous crime that has only one remedy: more Kung Foot (and maybe a nice bottle of Gulden Draak).

You're familiar with Rapunzel, right? That gleefully light-hearted story about the little girl who's kidnapped and confined against her will in a tall tower in the middle of a wooded glen, whose captor climbs her hair like a rope because ladders make way too much sense? In , you can enjoy that delightful children's tale as a puzzle minigame found in Vincent's favorite watering hole, the Stray Sheep bar.

The gameplay here mimics the block-based puzzle stages of Catherine's (somehow more bizarre) main story. As the fabled prince smitten by Rapunzel's beautiful voice and physical appearance, you have a limited number of moves to manipulate a series of blocks and scale them to your objective. Every few stages, a new bit of the minigame's narrative is unveiled via a series of rhymes <(a href="http://catherinethegame.wikia.com/wiki/Rapunzel_Story_Transcript" target="new">full transcript here), eventually uncovering a tale that's almost as tragic as Vincent's own life.

When it comes to Final Fantasy minigames, two of the most loved are both grid-based trading card games: Final Fantasy VIII's Triple Triad, and FFIX's Tetra Master. In both games, the goal is to control as many of the cards on the playing field as possible (think Tic-Tac-Toe, but far more complex) by the time its grid has been filled out. Here's the kicker: you can gain control of the opponent's cards. In Triple Triad, this was super basic: If the card you played had a higher value assigned to it than the opponent's adjacent card, you'd win.

But in Tetra Master, each card had its own HP, damage, and defensive stats, and could potentially attack any adjacent cards or diagonal ones. This added a shiz-ton more strategy to the game, even allowing for combo attacks that could sweep the entire board at once (thus explaining those seemingly random situations in which an your opponent would suddenly flip every card you had and win the game). Compared to Triple Triad, Tetra Master offered a far deeper layer of strategy, even though its systems were woefully ill-explained.

In hindsight, it's pretty wild to think that one of the Xbox 360's first successful downloadables started life as a minigame in Project Gotham Racing 2. Geometry Wars, a twin-stick arcade shooter, can be found within the in-game garage between races. What began as a neat side attraction eventually became the primary reason for booting the game back up long after we'd scratched our racing itch.

Its ruleset is brilliantly simple: controlling a claw-shaped ship, you have to blow up as many enemies as you can before getting destroyed yourself. It wasn't long before bragging about record PGR lap times gave way to bragging about high scores in Geometry Wars. And because of its popularity, it eventually led to the creation of Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2--one of the .

The World Ends With You is one of the most memorable JRPGs in the Nintendo DS catalog thanks to its story, neat battle system, carpal tunnel-inducing control scheme, and, of course, Tin Pin Slammer. The goal of this minigame? To slide your pins around the board in an attempt to knock your opponent's pins out of bounds. Basically, it's 1971's Milton Bradley board game , except the DS stylus replaces the plastic guns and little metal pellets. Crossfiiiiiuuur!

Trying to outmaneuver your opponent made the game addictive enough on its own, but the addition of "whammies," or special moves, made things a bit teresting. You could, for instance, summon a giant mallet from out of nowhere, which would spin in a circle and send every pin it made contact with flying. You'll get caught up in the Crossfiiiiiuuur! Of course, that's not to mention the stage variations, which add handicaps to change the rules on-the-fly, or the fact that you can collect hundreds of pins, each with unique stats and properties. And when you finally overcome a particularly grueling match-up, victory will have never tasted so sweet. Crossfiiiiiuuur!

In the world of Might and Magic VII: For Blood and Honor, peasants and adventurers alike gambled in taverns by way of Arcomage - a tabletop game not unlike Magic: The Gathering (freakin' nerds). Each player has a deck of cards, a tower (which acts as an HP counter), and a defensive wall (think MTG's creatures) that protect said tower. Each turn, you generate resources that can be spent to play cards that either fortify your wall, replenish your tower's hit points, or attack your opponent's tower, creating a delicate balancing act of knowing when to strike and when to play it safe.

In its earliest forms, Arcomage was a mere minigame in a single-player RPG, meaning you'd only ever get to play against AI opponents. It became popular enough, though, that The 3DO Company eventually released a standalone version that could be played with others via LAN or an Internet connection. These days, enhanced variations of it, such as the Android game , are readily available and surprisingly popular.

Few things in life are as exciting as recounting tales of the good ol' days, back when Windows ME was the hot new OS (that everyone quickly grew to hate) and people had to sit through this before they could connect to the World Wide Web. It was during this now-ancient time period that we lost many a night to Mephisto farms, Diablo grinds, and, eventually, Taco Baal Runs in Blizzard's beloved hack-and-slash RPG, Diablo II. But there's another aspect to the game that dungeon crawler veterans will recall with ease: playing .

Now, it may not have been immediately apparent at the time, but everyone soon picked up on the joke: trying to rearrange your inventory just so you could pick up that rare hunting knife meant moving items around just so, dropping them on the ground to swap others in, then out, then back again. And just when you started to think that the Horadric Cube was a space-saving godsend, you discovered that it only complicated the sadistic game of inventory Tetris by increasing the number of windows you had to manage in order to maximize your rearrangement efficiency. Ah yes, the good ol' days, indeed.

An action RPG is perhaps one of the last places you'd expect to find a highly customizable rail shooter, but Kingdom Hearts II's Gummi shooting segments were surprisingly enjoyable. On the surface, Gummi ships were just a neat way to open up the next world for Sora and his crew to explore. But if you were willing to spend a bit of time poking through everything Gummis had to offer, it was easy to get hooked.

We've spent hours unlocking new Gummi pieces just so we could build new ship designs from scratch. The sheer variety of vessels you could create was downright impressive, ranging from basic starships to freakishly inventive designs . Best of all, the on-rails shooting was enjoyable all its own, complete with operators Chip Dale, who sounded an awful lot like Slippy from Star Fox 64.

In the mid- to late-'90s, digital pets were all the rage. Anyone who was anyone had a Tamagotchi or a Nano Baby; ownership of one of these was mandatory to get any kind of street cred on the middle school playground. But this craze also made its way into a staggering number of console games, including 1998's Sonic Adventure, in which you could hatch and raise living, breathing plant-people called Chao.

Though you couldn't really do much with the Chao in the first Sonic Adventure, its sequel allowed you to affect the baby Chao's alignment to good or evil. If you were playing as, say, Sonic, cooing to the baby and patting its delicate head would make it a good Chao. The process for making an evil Chao? Step one: Bash a Chao egg into into sharp rocks over and over, forcing it to hatch prematurely. Step 2: Kick / slap the baby Chao until it cries out in utter, heartbreaking despair. Step 3: Respond to those cries with complete indifference.

Christ.

Seeing Blitzball appear in a list of awesome minigames will cause you to react in one of two ways: either you'll agree, or you'll tell the writer of this very article to please go cartwheel into highway traffic. Still, many came to fall in love with Blitzball. It's basically underwater rugby, where two opposing teams - such as Tidus and Wakka's own Besaid Aurochs and the damnable Al Bhed Psyches - try to drop kick a medicine ball through the other's goal.

Matches are frustrating early on, seeing as the RPG stats of your player roster matters just as much as (if not more than) your skill. But once you scout out some free agents, level up your team, and win a few games, it's easy to to play for hours on en - just kidding, we all know Blitzball is fu***** terrible.

I don't know about you, but I used to think anything that went up on the internet would stay there for eternity. Sadly, that's not the case. Servers get switched off, domain names expire, companies go under… even technology becomes obsolete. But sometimes, old official websites for video games slip through the cracks and remain live for years after their useful life.

The beauties you see now are like fossils, lurking below the bedrock of cat pictures and fertilising surface mulch of Oculus Rift Photoshops. And they aren't just cached or retrieved from WayBackMachine. These old video game websites are still live, right now (at the time of writing, at least), offering a perfect time capsule of what the net used to be like. So let's do this. Let's time travel!

The Gamecube's Animal Crossing website was designed to look like a newspaper - and feels exactly like reading an old paper, too. Excited prose explains how features like multiplayer work. You have to insert your friend's memory card into slot B, then you can visit their town. WHAT? You can trade items with friends, but Tom Nook has to give you a special code that you type into your game to redeem. DOUBLEWHAT? I'm suddenly incredibly grateful the last 10 years happened.

It's also amazing how much Animal Crossing itself has changed. I mean, considering it , just look at the malformed monstrosities that passed for cute animal residents back then. If anything makes me glad that New Leaf exists, it's this website. Still, nicely done, even if it does seem to be the first version of the site that was surely supposed to be updated. Why haven't the 'coming soon' boxes been filled up? Most odd.

Visit the site .

Sonic Adventure was THE most exciting video game in 1998. No, I'm serious. It was the first AAA quality title of the 128-bit generation. Look, OK, that might just have been me. But it has a website. It still has a website. In it, you'll find some still-great screenshots, lyrics for the cheese-tastic theme music and even the 2.6MB video that brought my college's net connection to a standstill in when it took an entire lunchtime to download.

Unfortunately for most people reading this, everything is in Japanese, with the occasional English word in CAPS for emphasis. But at least if you click through the links, it's pretty obvious what you're looking at. There are even some pre-release screens that show things that didn't make it into the final game. And look at the production values. They spent millions on the game, but about 100 Yen on the website, it would seem…

Visit the site .

This website won Macromedia Site of the Week AND Site of the Day on March 29, 2003, according to the banner proudly displayed on the landing page. This is gonna be good. And you know what? It really is! There's a first-person, pseudo-3D flash game to play, where you explore Tallon IV, uncovering suit and weapon upgrades, which play little video clips from the game itself, showing the features in action.

The video clips may be small, but they're of surprisingly decent quality considering the age of this site. And the fact that the game element still works (albeit with a slow-loading server at the other end) makes this worthy of a visit, if only to remember when Metroid Prime was the coolest thing in the world.

Visit the site .

Yes, it's Ridge Racer. I know. But we have to stop saying it one of these days. Besides, there's something more important to say here: Please be warned that while the site still works just fine (and that even includes the Shockwave-powered animations), minutes after I'd visited this page, Windows stopped working on my PC. Twice. Coincidence? Windows doesn't normally crash on me. So maybe it's best if you take my word for it that this one still works, rather than check it out.

But it really does still work. Look at those little tiles of joy. There's even a short loop of music from the game, which keeps playing forever. This site must have looked sensational back in 1998. Just like Ridge 4 itself did. Aww, man - I love that game. I'm gonna totally add this site to my web ring.

Visit the site .

Clearly nobody was expected to have any screen resolutions larger than a postage stamp in 2001, because this is tiny. But what a treasure trove. For starters, it's brilliant fun reading promotional words trying to explain a game you now know everything about. "Ico is a very different game. It's an adventure game but it has a look and feel that's worlds away from many other adventure titles." No kidding.

But this website actually has a Flash game built into it. It's a bit like Chu Chu Rocket in that you have to guide an automatically-running character by changing the environment – in this case moving blocks. As you do so, Yorda's cage gets closer to being within reach. That game doesn't work in every modern browser, but Chrome seems to run it just fine. Is it anything like Ico's gameplay? Hell no. But still, it's a curio and it's amazing it still works.

Visit the site .

Well that's one way of handling screen resolution. This is actually a remarkably slick website, allowing you to choose your favourite character pairing from four options at the start, which customises the colour scheme of the site accordingly. So Web 2.0, it hurts.

Sadly, the music loops waaaay too quickly. You can turn it off, but wait! There's also the option to change it, shifting between 50cc music, 100cc music and 150cc music. All dire, but also better than music. Yes, you're welcome. But even more sadly, there used to be some kind of Flash game called 'Racing Challenge'... but I can't get it to load. Probably no great loss.

Visit the site .

This early PS2 title may just be a brawler starring a guy who but it deserves better than to be lost to the mists of time. Square-Enix must think so too, because its original website is still live. It's actually not half bad. But it is 'half a screen' these days.

It's actually a multimedia fest with a Flash animation, complete with raucous music… and even a Flash game. That part doesn't work on my machine… apparently you'll need Shockwave ver 7.0.2 to make it work. I don't think anybody's had that since colonial times. Similarly, there are videos (using what must have been massive file sizes at the time), but they use Quicktime 4. And an ancient version of RealVideo. I feel so old.

Visit the site .

I was a little disappointed that I couldn't find a website for the original Ape Escape, but the totally-forgotten PS2 sequel is still cocooned in the world wide web, unable to break from its sticky prison, preserved exactly as it was in 2003.

The site appears to be rather basic at first, but it has its moments. The spinning monkey head that transitions between sections of the site is the dictionary definition of 'zany', there's a secret section of artwork if you get a password from doing well in the game itself (clever) and even two 'delectable' recipes for banana-based smoothies. Show me a modern site that does THAT. In fact, I'm off to make one. I'll probably post a pic of it on LiveJournal.

Visit the site .

While Yuke's' official WWE series has garnered mixed reviews in recent years, one area it’s always strong in is attention to detail outside of the ring, specifically arenas, wrestler entrances, and t-shirts worn by members of the crowd. In fact that latter apparel-based matter has become a flawless, ambient tie-up with each game's roster over the years. Simply, if a WWE superstar or diva is in the game, so too is their official merchandise, and vice versa. As a result, 2K’s recent of Finn Balor and Seth Rollins’ entrances inadvertently blows a good deal more future reveals, unveiling - at least to eagle-eyed fans - another 22 roster members in WWE 2K16 who haven’t yet been ‘officially’ announced.

With more than 120 wrestlers featured in the upcoming edition, there’s been a clamour for stars both old and new to join current-era combatants like John Cena and Randy Orton. And on this evidence, 2K and Yuke’s have delivered. Stalwarts The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and The Rock are joined by the returning Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart, while NXT standouts Baron Corbin, Enzo Amore and Charlotte are among this year’s debutants. For all 22 in-game characters unveiled in this way, and an updated list of every guy and gal revealed so far, read on…

Well, duh. Like the great one was going to miss out on a WWE game for the first time in forever. Rocky’s inclusion rounds out the names revealed so far to 42, roughly one-third of the final line-up. That makes the full, current list (*deep breath*)…

Bad News Barrett, Baron Corbin, Booker T, Bray Wyatt, Bret Hart, Brock Lesnar, Cesaro, Charlotte, Col Mustafa, Colin Cassady, Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Emma, Enzo Amore, Eva Marie, Finn Balor, General Adnan, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Kalisto, Kane, Kevin Owens, Lord Steven Regal, The Miz, Natalya, Paige, The Rock, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, Shawn Michaels, Sin Cara, Stardust, Sting, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Summer Rae, Tamina, The Terminator, Triple H, Tyson Kidd, The Undertaker.

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain is almost upon us, and with it comes closure to a decades-spanning saga. While the series has amassed a huge following over the years, for many people, The Phantom Pain will be their first exposure to a convoluted world filled with walking battlemechs and genetically-enhanced supersoldiers. It's not exactly the easiest story to keep track of, as characters and organizations often go by multiple names and are usually double- or triple-crossing one another. To make matters worse, the story is told out of sequence, so there are plenty of instances where series creator Hideo Kojima has retconned important events from past games in order to fit into the current, overarching plot.

But you don't need to fret, because I've compiled a timeline detailing the series' most important events. There's even a glossary at the bottom in case you get your Snakes mixed up (it happens to the best of us). If you're hopping into Big Boss' shoes for the first time (or simply need a refresher), and you don't want to watch hours upon hours of cutscenes to get the big picture, this will get you properly up to speed. The events of the Metal Gear saga cover over a century of world history, so strap in and enjoy the ride. Oh, and if anything doesn't make sense to you, just remember: nanomachines probably did it.

Big thanks to the and the Metal Gear Solid 4 Database on PS3 for helping me keep my dates and names straight while I wrote this.

Metal Gear's story truly begins in the aftermath of World War 1, as the wealthiest and most influential members of the US, the Soviet Union, and China form a secret organization known as the Philosophers. With their vast reach and near limitless resources, the Philosophers aim to influence world events so we never have to experience another global conflict on the scale of WW1. As its members die off, the group begins to splinter, and by the 1930s, the true purpose of the organization had distorted from its original ideals, eventually giving way to the Cold War, an era of nuclear tension that began thanks to the infighting between members of the Philosophers.

Before their nasty break-up, the Philosophers pooled together vast sums of money to stop World War 2 in its tracks, gathering over $100 billion (or over $1.6 trillion, in 2014 dollars) to develop nuclear weapons and genetically-enhanced supersoldiers. The money-laundering records needed to store this amount of cash were kept on microfilm - called the Philosophers' Legacy - along with the names of all of the organization's members. The Cold War started because each of the world's three major superpowers fought over this massive chunk of change, until a Soviet commander and Philosopher agent named Boris Volgin stole the microfilm and passed it on to his son after his death.

The Philosophers may have lost their slush fund and they may be fractured, but they haven't lost their teeth. Before the events of Metal Gear Solid 3, President John F. Kennedy goes against the will of the Philosophers during the Bay of Pigs invasion and is subsequently assassinated - such is the power of this shady organization.

A Soviet rocket scientist by the name of Nikolai Sokolov wants to defect to the US, so the government calls upon FOX, a CIA covert operations unit formed by Major Zero (a British SAS officer) and The Boss (head of Cobra Unit, a legendary squadron of soldiers who fought numerous battles in WW2). John (code name: Naked Snake), an ex-Green Beret and the first-ever FOX operative, is sent into the Soviet jungles to retrieve Sokolov, but is stopped when The Boss, Snake's mentor and mother figure, double-crosses him. The Boss recaptures Sokolov and joins up with members of Cobra Unit and Commander Volgin (son of Boris Volgin), who steals the Shagohod, a nuclear-equipped tank and Metal Gear progenitor, and launches a Davy Crockett nuke at his homeland, ensuring the US gets blamed for its illegal presence in the Soviet Union.

In order to prevent retaliation and mutually-assured destruction, Naked Snake must return to Volgin's command center, destroy the Shagohod, and kill The Boss. Along the way, he receives help from EVA, an ex-NSA agent/actual Philosopher agent and Snake's sole contact in the Soviet Union. He also meets Russian GRU officer Adamska (code name: Revolver Ocelot), forming a special warrior's bond with him despite their opposing allegiances. With their help, Snake defeats each of the members of Cobra Unit, destroys the Shagohod, takes down Volgin, and faces off against The Boss. Before Snake deals the final blow, The Boss hands over half of the microfilm containing the location of the Philosophers' Legacy.

Snake returns to the States a hero, and receives the title of Big Boss, but he also learns the horrible truth of his mission. The Boss was secretly working for the US from the inside to recover the Legacy, but thanks to Volgin's nuke, the parameters of her mission changed: she had to die by Snake's hands, forever known as a traitor. While Snake succeeded in his mission, he grew disillusioned with the government who betrayed him, renounced the title of Big Boss, and quit FOX.

FOX has gone rogue, and is now being led by Gene, a super-soldier the Philosophers used as a subject for genetic experiments. Gene wants the Philosophers' Legacy to create his own empire, so he captures a base on the San Hieronymo Peninsula and kidnaps and tortures Naked Snake, since he's the last person to know its whereabouts. Snake promptly escapes from the facility, along with Green Beret Roy Campbell. After meeting up with Major Zero, he learns that the government has classified him as persona non grata, thinking he is the cause of the FOX revolt. In order to clear his name, Snake forms the beginnings of FOXHOUND along with Zero, Ocelot, and Frank Jaeger, a war orphan Snake rescued a few years prior.

Snake recruits a variety of soldiers and finally defeats Gene, who recognizes him as the true successor to The Boss, and bequests FOX to him, as well as the plans to a soldier's paradise called 'Army's Heaven'. Of course, this wouldn't be a Metal Gear game without some kind of twist: the entire rebellion was actually staged by Ocelot and Major Zero as an attempt to lure the CIA director out of hiding and grab his half of the Legacy. Ocelot kills the director, snags the Legacy, and forms a new, even more shadowy secret organization called the Patriots with Major Zero and Naked Snake.

Snake, Major Zero, and Revolver Ocelot originally formed The Patriots to honor The Boss' dream of a perfect world. Zero interpreted this to mean creating a 'World Without Borders', effectively uniting the nations of the world under one rule. So Zero exaggerated and distorted the legend of Big Boss, using it as a means of control. Snake isn't too happy about being a puppet for Zero, believing that Zero is skewing The Boss' vision for his own gains.

The final straw was Zero’s creation of the Les Enfants Terribles project without Snake's knowledge or consent. The project aimed to take Snake's DNA and use it to clone a series of enhanced supersoldiers. From the project came three 'Sons of Big Boss': Solid, Liquid, and Solidus, each one representing the best parts of Big Boss' DNA, with some accelerated aging thrown in to prevent the enemy from copying the clones' genetic code. Snake finds out about this and is understandably pissed off. He leaves The Patriots and FOXHOUND, drifting from skirmish to skirmish, until he meets Kazuhira Miller and forms the Militaires Sans Frontieres. Sometime after Snake's departure, Major Zero and the Patriots take on the code name 'Cipher'.

Snake is asked by Costa Rican agents Paz Andrade and Ramon Galvez Mena for assistance regarding a mysterious army that's holed itself up in the Latin American nation. He only agrees when he hears a recording of The Boss' voice, seemingly alive and well. That voice actually belongs to an AI program attached to Peace Walker, a nuclear-equipped weapon created to ensure that mutually-assured destruction could never come to pass… by guaranteeing mutually-assured destruction would occur if anyone ever launched a nuke. It's best if you don't think about that too much.

Anyway, Snake and Miller set up Mother Base off the Costa Rican coastline and design it to resemble an offshore oil rig. Snake wanders the jungles, recruiting soldiers for his army, researching new tech, rescuing Dr. Huey Emmerich (the scientist responsible for Peace Walker's design), and building his own nuclear deterrent, a walking battlemech called Metal Gear ZEKE. Snake discovers that Galvez is a KGB agent who wanted Peace Walker for himself, but Snake puts a stop to him and once again prevents a nuclear holocaust, finally adopting the title Big Boss as his own.

Oh, it's not over yet. Paz is also a double agent, who actually works for Cipher (aka Major Zero). She attempts to steal ZEKE and frame MSF for launching a nuke should Snake decide not to join Cipher. Snake quickly defeats ZEKE, and Paz is flung into the ocean from the resulting explosion. Miller was also apparently a business partner with Cipher and knew all about Paz's plot, using his connections to build MSF into a driving force of the Cold War economy. Snake is apparently cool with this, and the two continue to operate MSF together, growing Mother Base into massive mercenary operation.

On the eve of a nuclear inspection (brought about by Huey's insistence that MSF proves to the world that it's running a squeaky clean operation), Miller and Snake receive word that Paz had survived their encounter, and is currently being held at Camp Omega, a US black site in Cuba. To make matters worse, one of Snake's recruits, a young teen named Chico, went off to rescue her and got himself captured. Both Paz and Chico know of the existence of Metal Gear ZEKE, so Snake needs to rescue them before they reveal any information to their captors.

Snake infiltrates the facility and rescues them, but returns to find Mother Base under attack by operatives of a mysterious new organization, XOF, led by their equally enigmatic CO, Skullface. Snake finds Miller and the two escape via chopper, only to be thwarted by a bomb planted inside Paz's body by XOF. She leaps from the helicopter in an attempt to save Snake, but the blast causes their helicopter to crash, putting Snake into a coma which lasts for nine whole years.

Snake awakens from his coma to discover that his left arm is missing and… Well, we don't know what's going to happen in this game since it's not out yet, but the final chapter of the Metal Gear saga aims to close the loop on Big Boss'/Naked Snake's history, showing his descent into villainy as he rebuilds Mother Base and gets his revenge on Cipher. Hopefully, we'll also find out how he gets back into the US government's good graces well enough to take control of FOXHOUND again, which will lead into...

The US learns of a secret weapon of mass destruction in a South African facility known as Outer Heaven, and calls on Big Boss and his FOXHOUND unit to take care of the situation. One problem: the US doesn't know that Outer Heaven belongs to Big Boss, and thanks to retroactive continuity, he's using it as a staging ground to build another Metal Gear and take down the Patriots. He sends in his son, Solid Snake (who doesn't know Big Boss is his dad at this point), as a way to stall the operation so Big Boss can complete his plans.

Big Boss feeds Solid Snake faulty intel, leading him into a series of traps, all of which Snake overcomes. He rescues Gray Fox (aka Frank Jager), destroys the Metal Gear, and defeats Big Boss before NATO carpet bombs the place into oblivion. Big Boss survives the explosion, and gathers the survivors together, returning even stronger a few years later.

The world is rapidly running out of oil, and Dr. Kio Marv has the perfect solution: OILIX, a synthetic fuel source that could solve a potential global crisis. So of course he gets kidnapped by a military force in Zanzibar Land. Roy Campbell, now head of FOXHOUND (y'know, after Big Boss proved to be, ahem, less than reliable), brings Solid Snake out of retirement to rescue the doctor.

Snake finds a hell of a lot more than that in Zanzibar Land: Gray Fox is now his enemy, Big Boss is alive, and - you guessed it - there's another Metal Gear. Dr. Marv is tortured and killed, and the OILIX formula ends up in Gray Fox's hands. Snake is able to defeat both Fox and Big Boss before the day is through, but not before learning that Big Boss is his father in a grand Empire Strikes Back moment. Snake leaves Big Boss for dead and retires to the Alaskan wilderness. The Patriots pick up Big Boss' body and place him into a nanomachine-induced coma, where he will remain for the next 15 years as a sentimental prize of Zero's. Oh, and his genes are once again stolen from him, this time to create the Genome Soldiers used in...

Keeping FOXHOUND around seems like a hell of a lot more trouble than it's worth. Liquid Snake, Solid's twin brother/clone, is now commanding officer, and - I sound like a broken record here - has gone rogue, using the newly-created Genome Soldiers to take over Shadow Moses Island, a nuclear weapon storage facility and home of Metal Gear REX. Liquid, Revolver Ocelot, and friends plan on launching a nuke unless the government hands over the remains of Big Boss and $1 billion.

Roy Campbell drags Solid Snake out of retirement once again to rescue a few VIPs, all of whom die of mysterious heart attacks thanks to the FOXDIE virus Dr. Naomi Hunter secretly injected into Snake's body before the mission. After a battle against Revolver Ocelot, Snake learns that Gray Fox isn't just alive, he's been turned into a cyborg ninja - who promptly slices off Ocelot's hand with his katana. Snake then meets up with Campbell's daughter Meryl Silverburgh, as well as REX designer Hal Emmerich (Huey's son), both of whom help Snake make his way through the facility.

After a variety of trials and tribulations, Solid Snake finds himself face-to-face against his brother Liquid and Metal Gear REX. Gray Fox steps in to sacrifice himself, giving Solid Snake enough time to destroy REX. Liquid then gives Solid a long-winded speech about his origin as a clone of Big Boss. The two do battle on top of the destroyed mech, Solid Snake wins (because of course he does), and escapes the facility alongside Meryl. Liquid continues his dogged pursuit, ultimately dying at the hands of the FOXDIE virus. Revolver Ocelot escapes (sans one hand), and in the game's closing moments, we learn that Solidus (aka George Sears and the perfect clone of Big Boss) is currently President of the United States and was essentially in on the whole thing.

Prior to MGS2's events, Revolver Ocelot grafts Liquid Snake's hand onto his arm and begins selling Metal Gear REX's schematics to the highest bidders. Oh, and Liquid's hand starts taking over Ocelot's mind, affecting his speech and thought patterns (more on that later).

On a tip from Hal's sister Emma (an AI programmer who is also working on a type of Metal Gear), Solid Snake infiltrates an oil tanker off the coast of Manhattan. He arrives just in time to see the ship being taken over by Russian soldiers, but Snake doesn't care too much about that - he just wants to find Metal Gear RAY and expose its existence to the world. After wending his way into the belly of the tanker, he finds and photographs RAY and uploads the images for Hal. Just in time, too, because Ocelot/Liquid shows up, betrays his Russian comrades, steals RAY and blows up the tanker, leaving Snake for dead. Snake is framed for the destruction by the Patriots, as tons of oil allegedly seep into the New York coastline. It's enough to greenlight the construction of Big Shell, an offshore facility designed to clean up the 'oil leak'. But nothing is ever so simple in this universe, as the facility is actually a front, housing the construction site of the greatest weapon of them all: Arsenal Gear.

Big Shell is taken over by the Sons of Liberty, a terrorist group made up of members of Dead Cell, an (ironically) anti-terrorist organization that has - say it with me now - gone rogue. They're led by Solidus Snake (aka ex-president George Sears), and they've taken the current US president hostage and have demanded $30 billion in ransom. Of course, that's not why they're really there - Solidus wants access to Arsenal Gear and GW, the AI program inside of it.

Raiden, a rookie operative trained by VR (and the player character for the rest of MGS2), is sent to Big Shell to stop the terrorists at all costs. He finds a poorly disguised Solid Snake, who helps him infiltrate and navigate the facility. As Raiden closes in on Solidus, he finds a cyborg ninja, everyone he's supposed to save mysteriously dies of a heart attack, and his ultimate goal is to find the GW AI and upload a virus that mimics FOXDIE. If a lot of the events of MGS2 sound familiar, it's because the Big Shell incident was an attempt to recreate the events of Shadow Moses in order to train a soldier on par with Solid Snake.

Or… not. The Big Shell incident was actually part of a Patriot plot to prove the effectiveness of the GW AI's ability to control and distort information and manipulate individuals through this distortion. The Colonel Campbell giving Raiden orders throughout MGS2 was actually this AI, and thanks to Raiden's unquestioning devotion to the mission, the program was a smashing success. An out-of-control Arsenal Gear smashes into the Manhattan coastline, and Raiden and Solidus are forced to do battle atop Federal Hall. Raiden emerges the victor, completing his role as the Patriots' pawn. Ocelot/Liquid once again escapes, this time with RAY in tow. Ocelot uses RAY, as well as the remnants of the GW AI found in Arsenal Gear, to quickly build an army of private military corporations, forming the basis of a newly-created war economy.

A rapidly aging Solid Snake is brought out of retirement (once again) by Roy Campbell. His final mission: to assassinate Liquid Ocelot (yeah, he's basically Liquid at this point) and stop the never-ending proxy battles fought by his PMC organizations. This wouldn't be so difficult if it weren't for the fact that everyone is loaded up with nanomachines, and Liquid controls the AI program that governs them, causing soldiers to convulse wildly at the push of a button. Snake fails to capture him in the Middle East, but tracks his assistant, Dr. Naomi Hunter, to South America and rescues her - with a little help from Raiden, who's gone full cyborg ninja by this point.

Snake then makes his way to Europe, searching for Big Mama (aka EVA, from Snake Eater), and the remains of Big Boss. Ocelot finds Snake and uses the remains of Big Boss to unlock the final key in the Patriots' AI program, giving him control of virtually every army on the planet. Things are looking grim: EVA is dead, Snake is wounded, and Ocelot escapes to Shadow Moses, where he plans on stealing REX's nuke (because it's one of the only ones freely available that isn't controlled by the Patriots) to use it to destroy the Patriots' global AI network. Snake gives chase, reliving old memories in the derelict facility, but ultimately fails to stop Liquid from stealing the nuke.

In a last ditch effort, Snake and his crew storm Liquid Ocelot's base of operations, Outer Haven (*nudge*), where he uploads a virus of Dr. Hunter's design called FOXALIVE (*nudge nudge*) and defeats Liquid one last time. With the world saved and free from the Patriots' influence, Snake visits The Boss' grave for one final goodbye... and discovers a Big Boss who is very much alive. It was Solidus' body that actually burned back in Europe, and when the Patriots' AI went offline, Big Boss was awoken from his years-long coma. Big Boss explains how Ocelot used nanomachines and psychotherapy to make himself believe his body had been taken over by Liquid's hand in order to trick the Patriots into granting him access. He then suffocates a geriatric Zero and shares a final tender moment with his son before succumbing to the FOXDIE virus still mucking around in Snake's body. With their deaths, the Patriots are effectively destroyed, and Snake can finally retire - for good, this time.

's third (and massive) expansion is coming on September 15, and with it Bungie is taking the opportunity to completely change some of the systems the open-world shooter has had in place for the past year. Leveling is going to be different, the weapons will change, the lore is being handled in a new way - there's a lot going on here.

Bungie has dropped a megaton of information on The Taken King expansion. This week's reveal of the cover story and our hands-on time with Destiny at Gamescom 2015 brings to light many of the new features Bungie has been hiding behind the curtain for the last few months. In order to keep you in the know, we've collected all of the information revealed about the third expansion so far. So without further ado, this is the new Destiny.

The Taken King expansion is jam packed with content. The new, high-level activities take place on Mars' moon Phobos, Mercury, and within a massive Hive Dreadnaught full of great halls to explore. The Dreadnaught acts as a new planet, giving Guardians more difficult Patrol challenges, environmental puzzles to solve, and hidden treasure tucked away in the nooks and crannies. There will be four Strikes on PlayStation, (three on Xbox), a massive raid mission, and a story campaign that has a greater emphasis on cinematic storytelling and character development.

You won't be fighting the same Vex, Fallen, Cabal, and Hive enemies. Instead, you'll face the Taken: an army of the old enemy species, only they've been mutated and transformed by the Taken King, who’s given them ethereal qualities and remixed abilities. For example, the Taken version of the Hive Wizard can spawn groups of thrall-like minions to overwhelm your fireteam, forcing you to take it out as quickly as possible. There are also plenty of bosses to encounter, but don't count on them waiting for you at the end of a Strike; some of the game’s tougher enemies will appear in Patrols as well.

Grinding and grinding and grinding for that one piece of gear needed to hit max level is a thing of the past. At least, we hope. Until the Taken King, after you hit the max level of 20, you'd have to get better and better armor pieces by completing the game's more difficult challenges, raids, and strikes in order to increase your light level - which led to lots of grinding and even more frustration for some players. In The Taken King, players will progress from level one to 40 by gaining experience points, much like you would in any MMO or RPG. So, you could be a level 40 Titan wearing all rare class armor if you wanted to, but you'd definitely be much weaker without the superior stats of legendary or exotic equipment.

We have some fond memories of our time with our legendary hand cannon Fatebringer that we farmed out of the Vault of Glass, but the vanilla Dark Below and House of Wolves legendaries can not be ascended in The Taken King. It seems it's time for some new weapons to lead the pack. But, before you start going through your vault and disassembling your guns, Bungie has teased that the old gear will have some sort of purpose in the expansion. If you're worried about your Exotics, there's been no mention of holding those pieces of equipment back, so we're guessing they're likely to have stats boosts available come the expansion.

Part of the reason legendary equipment will not be buffed up to the new level cap is that you'll be hunting down more powerful weapons and armor. Those of us who have been collecting the purple legendaries and yellow exotics over the past year will once again wear the rare blues, uncommon greens, and (dare I say) basic white items. They'll be higher level equipment with stats that will make you shed your old purples. Light values will still have a part to play in your equipment, but Bungie is still keeping those details under wraps.

All of the missions in Destiny will be receiving a "quest" treatment and exotic bounties will be even more elaborate. Part of the change includes a new progress screen that allows you to track your bounties and quests from the Ghost nav. Another interesting bit is that the subclasses (new and old) will require that you complete quests to earn the new powers. There are unique questlines to acquire the Sunbreaker, Stormcaller, and Nightstalker abilities for their respective classes, which will have you hunting for mysterious nomads, joining rogue Titan clans, and engaging in shamanistic rituals.

With all this much content being added in The Taken King, you’d better believe there's going to be a truckload of new weapons to go with it. In the expansion, some guns will be categorized by manufacturer, or what the game calls Weapon Foundries. Guns in the same Weapon Foundry share common traits and visual style. Suros weapons have extra perk customization options, Hakke weapons are all-around weapons for any situation, and Omolon guns lean more on the experimental, energy projection side of weapon creation.

Poor Dinklebot didn't get the warmest reception in vanilla Destiny and it's been a while since we've heard our little Ghost say anything new. But good news, the Ghost is going to be volved in the story than ever...just with an entirely new voice. Bungie is replacing all of the Ghost's old dialogue with the voice talents of Nolan North, the actor behind iconic video game characters like Nathan Drake. North hopes to bring plenty of life to the character and help it evolve over the life of Destiny. And with Destiny's ten-year plan, we have plenty of time to get reacquainted with our little light.

You'll no longer be constrained to only waving, pointing, dancing, and sitting. New emotes can be found and equipped, giving you even more ways to express yourself. And, that's all there really is to say about that. Moving on.

Not only is the Gunsmith getting his own reputation system that allows you to take on challenges with prototype weapons, Bungie is also giving Guardians a reason to visit the gravel-voiced Exo on a weekly basis. Once you level up to a specific Gunsmith faction rank, you unlock Armsday, which gives you the option to spend glimmer on legendary weapons (after completing a set of said challenges) which will arrive on Wednesdays with random perks.

The crowded vault issue is a big problem in Destiny right now. Vaults of players with multiple characters are bursting at the seams with weapons, armor, and items. In The Taken King, it seems Bungie is tweaking some systems to give us a bit more space in our inventories. Emblems and shaders will now be assigned to an interactive console in the Tower, removing those icons that are taking up space in your inventory and vault. It’s a step in the right direction, but we're still crossing our fingers for a much more spacious vault.

For the past year, the to read through the grimoire cards you've collected, which is not ideal. Now it seems your Ghost will fill you in on any additional information about Destiny's worlds and characters with the press of a button, giving you instant access to the grimoire from within the game.

The random number generator-based loot system (which the community has dubbed RNGesus) has been the bane of many a Guardian's sanity. Much of Destiny's higher-evel gear can only be acquired through random drops from the various raids, Strikes, and Crucible modes, and the grinding is sure to continue in The Taken King. But Bungie has made improvements to how we will be awarded our random loot. The system will take into account the items you already own, so there is less of a chance to get repeat drops.

PvP is a huge part of Destiny, and Bungie isn't shying away from adding more competitive modes and features to let you blast your fellow Guardians. The Taken King will be adding eight new Crucible maps and three modes called Mayhem, Rift, and Zone Control. There will be Crucible quests that are meant to help newcomers ease into Destiny's competitive side, and a new system will give players legendary or exotic equipment upon completion of a set of weekly bounties. On the technical side, the Crucible matchmaking will now take skill and connection into account when gathering Guardians, and a "Mercy Rule" system will cut off dramatically mismatched games early to help preserve players' records.

Thousands upon thousands of video game characters have been invented, so it's inevitable that some of them will look similar. But this lot... well, let's just say it would have been quicker but just as effective to hit Ctrl+C then Ctrl+V and have done with it.

The saddest thing is, while the older examples have rather innocent explanations, the newer examples are almost certainly indicative of a more sinister trend in the industry. They're faces that the target demographic will relate to, or aspire to be. Makes me sick. So let's have a look at the offending couples and hope they never meet each other. The space/time continuum may just implode if they do.

This is pretty funny, really, but understandable considering they were designed by the same person, namely Square-Enix and Final Fantasy legend Tetsuya Nomura. Sora from may as well be a younger version of Sion from The Bouncer. Same penchant for dangly chains and zippers everywhere, same hair, similar clothes... if you'd never played The Bouncer before, you could be forgiven for wondering why everyone's calling Sora 'Sion'.

Sora's wardrobe design was apparently intended to echo Mickey Mouse's, as a tribute to the Disney legend in this incredible Square/Disney collaboration. White gloves, red shorts and big, yellow shoes (oh yes, NOW his feet make sense)... I can see that. But still, you could also see Sora as Sion in unconvincing Mickey Mouse cosplay. Awkward.

The new on the side. Seriously, these are the exact same guy. Look at them! Same age bracket, same colour hair, same hairline, same scar above the right eyebrow, same facial hair...

(house style dictates I have to put a paragraph break here but I'm still going) ...same shape of flattish nose, same thin lips and mouth length, same piercing eyes - although he's clearly wearing blue contact lenses on the left - same angle of brow... the only difference is that 'Rico' Max has bent his eyebrows somewhere, presumably where they got melted in an explosion or something.

This one is particularly well-documented, not least because the character model for Ellie in was altered prior to release, which some say was to make her look less like Ellen Page, who didn't lend her likeness to the game and got a bit upset at ostensibly being in it. Ironically, I actually think the revised Ellie looks even more like Ellen. Different colour eyes, though. Yep. Those virtual contact lens people must be making a killing.

Of course, Ms Page DID lend her likeness to , which means we have an in-game render of Ellen Page to compare with an in-game render of not-Ellen Page. The result? Ellen Page. If anything, Page is probably happier with Naughty Dog than Quantic Dream right now. At least Naughty Dog didn't include a fully anatomically-correct naked version of their leading lady in the game. One step forward for gaming, two steps back...

Come on, own up. Who stuck a bicycle pump up Kirby's bum? Pokemon's Jigglypuff looks suspiciously like an uncomfortably-inflated Kirby. Ears and wisp of hair (ice cream?) aside, it's all the same. Pink. Spherical. Rounded protrusions instead of limbs. Visible tongues. Same shaped, small, smiling mouth. Large eyes. Dilated pupils. Exaggerated, manga-style reflections in eyes. Rounded feet. Rounded everything. Kirby and Jigglypuff might as well be brother and sister. Or married. But not both, obviously.

It's stock game journo fact #237, but Kirby was created as a placeholder, while the real hero was decided upon. But the endearing nature of the character (and therefore characters) is that both fit the 'infant proportions' archetype. Large, round face, big eyes, small mouth - it's instinct buried within your DNA that says these things are cute. YOUR BRAIN THINKS THEY MIGHT BE YOUR OFFSPRING.

There aren't that many male video game protagonists with a slightly receding hairline who wear glasses. In fact, I can only think of two. And because there's only one other notable character in that bracket who existed before Alex Taylor of , perhaps it would have been wise to make sure Alex didn't look exactly like him.

But no, it's time to get the Picard facepalm pic out. Half-Life's Gordon Freeman appears to have started street racing. This is weird. Especially as this bespectacled scienti...I mean 'racer' talks. And when he talks, he sounds like Troy Baker. I suppose if Half-Life 3 ever gets made and Gordon does work out how his vocal chords work, assuming Nolan North is still busy recording new Destiny lines, you can bet Troy Baker would step up to voice him.

In these pictures - both taken from Knuckles Chaotix on 32X, Mighty the Armadillo arguably looks more like Sonic the Hedgehog than Sonic the Hedgehog does. Indeed, for a while, I was convinced Sonic's sprite was simply altered to take him out of the playable roster (as the would suggest he was intended to be in it), and this 'Mighty' chap was actually Sonic wearing fake ears and armadillo armour. Look at the picture - surely Mighty is Sonic, right?

Wrong. Mighty The Armadillo was in SegaSonic the Hedgehog - the arcade Sonic game that also starred Ray the Flying Squirrel. No, you're right, you haven't heard of him either. Seeing as that game predates Sonic 3, Mighty arguably has more right to be in the game than Knuckles. And therefore, that shell doesn't come off. Not without a lot of screaming.

On the left: 's hero Chris. On the right, Atari classic Adventure's unnamed hero. It's totally a young Chris. Slightly richer colour (newer, see?), but those right-angles are unmistakable. Mind = blown.

And on that bombshell, that's it. Thought of any more gaming lookalikes? Let us know in the comments and I will update this article. Either that, or one that looks just like it. Hahahaha*gunshot*.

And here we go! Gamescom, the games industry's other big expo, starts tomorrow in Cologne, Germany. We're going to have a bigger GR+ contingent than ever before out on the show floor, scrambling for demos and nodding sagely through press conferences, and even more of us covering the show from our respective offices all over the damn planet. It is, without doubt, going to be a big deal.

But enough about us. You know what's more important? The actual games. And oh boy, are there a lot of them this year. To help you stay focused, as Gamescom news starts hurtling into your face at a rate of knots over the next week, we've compiled this handy and delightful list, running down the biggest and best titles getting a fresh showing this year, alongside what we reckon we're specifically likely to see. So without further ado, click on to start with probably this year's biggest game of all, and then proceed to hype yourself silly over the following pages too.

Developer Bungie has a long history of sneaking secrets into their games, and their latest project they’d included, presumably to check they hadn’t slipped anything too naughty in there.

I’ve been scouring the planets in search of hidden details, and listed my findings over the following slides. Hopefully you’ll find some new information in here, to enhance your enjoyment of Destiny’s world(s)!

Want to read more on Destiny? Then pick up a copy of the GamesRadar+ Presents Bookazine .

Amazingly, the first Destiny Easter egg actually appeared in Halo 3: ODST, way back in 2009. An advertising board with the seemingly innocuous title “Destiny Awaits” could be found in that game, complete with a shot of the Earth... but wait, is that the Traveler hovering over it?

Bungie had suggested for some time that there was still a final secret to be discovered in Halo 3: ODST, and when eagle-eyed players noted this display after the first Destiny details were announced, series digital artist Vic Deleon confirmed it by tweeting “IT’S FINALLY BEEN FOUND!”

IT#39;S FINALLY BEEN FOUND!

In the game itself, the first Easter egg appears during the opening cinematic sequence, as a group of astronauts land on Mars and begin exploring the planet. Look closely at the spaceman’s boot as they descend from their craft, and you’ll notice what looks like the Destiny logo embedded in the tread. This can also be seen in the dusty footprint they leave behind as they set off across the planet’s surface towards the Traveler.

On your visits to the Tower you'll no doubt have noticed various ships buzzing around the place, and probably dismissed them as little more than background furniture. However, rather than just being randomly generated to make things look busy, these are the actual transport belonging to the guardians currently visiting this location.

To confirm this, as soon as you warp into the Tower Plaza, turn right and sprint into the Tower Hangar. Get inside quickly enough and you’ll spot your ship being flown in and docked, before it gets lowered into the subterranean parking lot.

A giant football first appeared in Halo 2, and made several appearances in subsequent games in the series. As a possible homage to this a football can be found in the Tower Plaza, which normally spawns on the left hand side under the stairs. By running or sliding into it you can kick it around, and perhaps get a little game going with your fellow guardians.

Also in the Tower Plaza is a large purple ball, which is much more lightweight and floaty than the football. This normally appears on top of the crates next to Bounty Tracker Xander 99-40, although it can also be found on the table by the Cryptarch’s tent. Knock it into the air, then see how long you can keep it up for... or, like me, spend an age trying to balance on top of it before some sod immediately kicks it away. Cheers, mate.

The trees in the Tower Plaza may help to brighten the place up, but the one near Gunsmith Banshee-44 can also be scaled to take in the view over the whole area. A few carefully placed jumps will get you most of the way up the trunk, then a final sprint jump will launch you into the branches. Have a little boogie up here and lord it over the guardians collecting their bounties below.

Here’s a secret feature of the Tower Plaza that requires at least two people to experience. On top of the Postmaster’s building is a large fan, and this rooftop can be accessed by sprint jumping from the nearby steps.

Once you’re on top of the fan, you need a second player to head up the steps at the side of the Plaza and onto the balcony overlooking the area. At the far end there are some panels on the floor, which provide an ‘Activate Fan’ prompt when stood on--hold down the button here and anyone stood on the fan will be launched high into the air. Get the timing right, and combined with a jump you can reach the top of the flagpoles or even the pillars above the Vault terminals.

While exploring the final planet Mars, fans of the Halo series may spot a building which bears more than a passing resemblance to a familiar character. This can be found in the Trenchworks area of the map used in several missions, though it can also be accessed during the Mars Patrol--head straight forwards from the start and follow the valley to the Scablands, go straight across it and through the next valley to Giants’ Pass and the Valley of the Kings, then down the tunnel at the far end until you reach the Trenchworks.

Here you’ll find this building, which thanks to its glowing golden window and central green banner looks an awful lot like the Master Chief himself. Purely coincidental, I’m sure...

Destiny’s developers have obviously been using their lunchtimes to play other games, and you can find a number of references to what’s been on the office machines hidden away in some of the armour descriptions. The first is a piece of Exotic chest armour called Heart of the Praxic Fire, which comes with the description, “In that last moment she seemed as wholly luminescent as the Sun, and I wished to be so brave.” Dark Souls players should pick up on the nod to the cheerful and powerful Knight ‘Solaire of Astora’ – who can be summoned to help players with many of the bosses in the game – but if they didn’t the ‘Praise the Sun’ perk carried by the armour should hammer home the reference.

And if you’re really looking to complete the Dark Souls look, try equipping the Ghost Angel Cloak for your Hunter. The tagline is, “We are an army of the chosen dead.” So get out there and round up some more recruits. By shooting ’em in the head.

As we’ve already seen, Bungie loves to leave subtle nods to other games in their creations. But the studio doesn’t stop there: books and TV shows have every chance of appearing in Bungie’s works. Head to the Cosmodrome on Earth, pick up some Patrol missions and you’ll eventually come across one called ‘Four Arms Good, Two Arms Better’. Aside from the Vandals you fight in Old Russia having four arms, this is a knowing reference to Animal Farm (ask your parents) where the pigs eventually used the maxim, “Four legs good, two legs better!” as they became more human.

Showing that they can also riff off modern pop-culture, Bungie also included a Bounty called ‘All in the Game’. Which is eerily similar to the words Omar Little says in the final scene of the first season of HBO’s The Wire, “It’s all in the game, yo. All in the game.” That on its own might not convince everyone, so consider this: the Bounty also has you killing Fallen enemies and pick up Wire Wraps. Not just a coincidence after all, then.

Cortana may now be known to most people as Microsoft’s answer to Siri, but she started out life as the AI in the Halo series. Bungie was obviously keen to hang on to their iconic blue guide in some way, and although she doesn’t appear in physical form in Destiny you can hear Jen Taylor, the voice of Cortana, talking over the PA system in the Tower.

Listen long enough and you can ever hear her quit during an announcement – tired of being everyone’s personal assistant, we presume.

This next Easter egg comes direct from the internet detectives on Reddit. Take a look at the Director map screen and, around the edges, you’ll see a series of numbers on the top right, bottom left and left hand side. These are HEX codes. Reddit user Arukemos took these digits and changed them into ASCII code, then soon discovered the bottom numbers translate to “Alright OK”. alrightok.com takes you to a page for a User Interface artist who worked on the game. The left hand side numbers mean ‘Be Dave’, which Dave Candland, Lead UI designer for Destiny, confirmed was correct by tweeting ‘Reddit finds my egg’ and adding there are currently 32 Daves working at Bungie. The top sequence? That says ‘mackay’ – another UI artist, MacKay Clark.

When the House of Wolves expansion was added to Destiny in May 2015, players got access to a host of new areas and challenges. One of these was a new social space called the Vestian Outpost. Head here and look right as soon as you arrive and you’ll see the Postmaster. Next to him is a lamp you can turn on and off to your heart’s content. Light goes on, light goes off, light goes on, light goes off, light goes on, light goes off… Did somebody order a disco?

You can find this little treat every time you go to the Tower. As soon as you spawn in, look down at your feet and you’ll see the phrase ATRIVM PROPVGNATORVM. Translated from Latin this becomes Hall of Champions. So the Tower isn’t just a nice place to hang out, it’s a memorial to every Guardian fighting against the Darkness.

So we all remember the song called Breaking Benjamins that was written for Halo 2, right? Good. In that case you’ll remember the first line of the chorus was ,“Only the strongest will survive,” which is something you’ll hear a lot as you start matches in the Crucible. Coincidence? Maybe, but probably not knowing Bungie.

While tackling the Will of Crota Strike on Earth – released as part of The Dark Below DLC – you’ll hear Eris Morn giving you instructions as you make your way towards Omnigul. However, if you’re the first player to reach the sealed door in the Jovian Complex and use your Ghost before Eris has finished telling you about Omnigul’s purpose, she’ll inform you that, “In its dying breath the Traveler released the Ghosts… to open doors.” Poor Dinklebot. Will he never catch a break?

Look closely around in certain areas of the Tower – on the Speaker’s desk or at the top of the tree near the Gunsmith, for instance – and you should see some coins. There are seven of these (of course there are) located around the Tower, and the first person to find them all and send photographic evidence to Bungie received a special player emblem only available from the developer for their troubles.

But don’t give up. Players have since discovered that the House of Wolves DLC also had some hidden coins in the new areas. Only two have been found to date, so there’s still time, Guardian. Who’s guessing there’ll be five more?

The Beatles’ Sir Paul McCartney wrote the song ‘Hope For the Future’ specifically for Destiny, and it doesn’t contain the phrase, “Hey Jude,” even once! Want to listen to it? You’ll need to select the credits from the Director map screen once you’ve finished the main story missions. The song was recorded at Abbey Road Studios in the UK by a 120 piece orchestra.

During any mission you’ll notice enemies coming out of doors which close again once everyone is safely though and walking into your bullets. They won’t open again if you walk up to them, but summon your Ghost and they’ll slide apart. Apart from the isolated Strike strategy cheese it’s a useless trick, but worth seeing at least once all the same.

As you’ve probably gathered by now Destiny is full of references to TV shows, games, and popular culture. For example, there’s a Patrol mission on the Moon called ‘Power Underwhelming’, which also happens to be the code for activating God mode in Starcraft. Then there’s the Legendary sniper rifle ‘Final Boss’, named after a MLG Halo 3 team. And finally, a Legendary shotgun called the Comedian is a nod towards the gun-toting Watchmen character of the same name. He loves shotguns, too.

Win nine matches without a single loss in the Trials of Osiris and you’re granted access to the Lighthouse where you’ll find a chest full of goodies. But head to the left when you arrive and you’ll discover a secret room underground. It’s been suggested that this is Osiris’ room, and it looks like a bloody battle took place at some point – look around and you’ll find bullets and weapons on the ground, along with the bodies of those who didn’t make it through the fight.

So, those are the Destiny secrets we know about so far. But, as Bungie are the masters of Easter eggs, there’s undoubtedly still more to be discovered. Had you spotted any of them before, and are there any others you know of? Tell us in the comments below.

Hungry for more of the hidden stuff? Then why not check out .

July ran the gamut as far as game releases go, but the good far outweighs the bad. You can safely skip stinkers like are all going exceptionally strong. That just leaves our two nominees for this Game of the Month celebration... start writing down those guesses now.

At the end of each month, we look back at the standout games that demand your attention above the rest of the year's releases thus far. That way, you know what to prioritize before you're caught up by all the other amazing . So, without further ado, here's what you should be playing right now to tide you over until next month.

An entire realm being reborn is a tough act to follow, but aces the trial that is an MMO's first expansion. By expanding on just about every aspect you can think of - most notably, some gigantic zones and three intriguing Jobs - it feels as substantial and vibrant as the revamped version of the base game. Oh, and you can soar through the sky atop a flying mount, including a tubby Chocobo with tiny, adorable wings which you motivate with a slice of cake on a stick. For some, that fact alone will justify a renewed subscription.

Heavensward sweetens the deal with a wealth of engaging, plot-thickening quests (provided you've reached the end of A Realm Reborn's storyline), and the fresh abilities for each class make the journey to the new level cap a joy. For all you living room adventurers, FF14 continues to be the best console MMO on the market - but whether you're playing on a PC, PS4, or PS3, chit-chatting with Moogles, felling colossal Primals, and dancing some merry jigs in celebration is simply delightful.

is what happens when ‘the beautiful game’ is usurped by clusters of rocket-powered battle cars. It’s not quite as intricate or as Messi as football, but Rocket League is sincere in its sports presentation, right down to the chanting arena crowds and cheesy pop music in the menus. It also doesn’t feel derivative, coming to its own cartoonish crescendo when those somersaulting sports cars butt bumpers over an oversized, blinking ball. It takes a long time to master the bumps, the bounces, the jumps and the jukes, but Rocket League is brilliant right off the bat.

Even while you’re learning the right timing for a forward-flip, or when it’s ok to drive on the stadium ceiling (right now, actually), you’ll pull off some amazing stuff. It’ll be the perfect metallic maneuver: clipping the ball with your front left tire in a graceful somersault, sending it straight into the points pen where it explodes with a satisfying KABLOOSH. Wow. Just… wow. And nobody has to know you did that completely by accident. We’ll just keep that between us.

is an absolute marvel of storytelling, making ingenious use of out-of-order video clips to spin out its mystery. Despite the fact that the game’s unique structure means your path to the end won’t match anyone else’s, Her Story is complete and coherent, though its solution is open to interpretation. It’s a detective game that relies on your natural instinct to push its narrative forward, never nudging you in one direction or the other, letting you explore avenues of investigation as they come to you.

Watching FMV clips on a reproduction of a computer from the '90s certainly doesn’t sound terribly exciting, but you’ll be thinking about Her Story for days after you’ve tracked down that last video. You’ll find yourself rolling little details around in your head, mulling over their implications, deciding that you finally know the “truth,” only to realize that another detail makes your assumptions invalid. But then again, does it? One final bit of advice: go in knowing as little as possible, and don’t try to game the system. Be a true detective.

is another biff-pow display of Rocksteady’s exceptional craftsmanship in bringing a classic comic icon to life. Though combat and stealth are again refined and expanded within Batman’s beautifully rain-slick city, the game’s elegant design is reflected not in its individual components, but in how well they connect with one another, like nodes in a web.

Though the Batmobile’s roaring arrogance has made it a controversial addition to the Arkham series, there’s no question about how integral it is to Batman’s latest patrol. Conceptually, it’s meant to be a way to move quickly in a much wider slice of dour ol’ Gotham, and its visual appearance is, of course, inspired by Batman’s history of driving - as The Riddler calls them - rocket-powered hearses. But Rocksteady dives in fully and makes sure the vehicle connects to combat, stealth and every part of Batman. The overall game’s polish and continuity can be seen in one motion, with the Batmobile hurtling down an alley and launching Batman into full flight, right through a window and into a savage display of ne’er-do-well punishment. It’s one move, one world and one of the coolest moments of 2015. It’ll get you pumped to track down every last super criminal, including whoever masterminded the dreadful PC port.

In a sea of multiplayer shooters obsessed with grit, gore, or teabagging, stands out like a brightly colored squid catapulting through the air - which is actually a thing that happens regularly in this game. Nintendo's take on team deathmatch puts the focus on marking your squad's territory with a rainbow of ink rather than racking up kills, but it still delivers the thrilling blend of twitch shooting and coordinated tactics that define the genre.

Even if those human-squid hybrid Inklings are dripping with kid-friendly personality, this is the kind of joyous multiplayer experience that anyone of any age can enjoy. There's still weapon progression like you'd expect from Call of Duty or Battlefield, but with ink-filled Super Soaker facsimiles and colossal paint rollers. You won't hear anyone raging on voice-chat (because there isn't any), but the GamePad provides clear cues for what to do next. And while the selection of maps currently feels a bit sparse, the moment-to-moment gameplay is fresh, exciting, and - most importantly - good fun.

As open-world experiences go, takes high fantasy to new heights with its staggeringly massive world and rich, engaging storytelling. The grizzled Geralt of Rivia finds himself in landscapes that are as picturesque as they are treacherous, where otherworldly beasts and crazed cultists lurk in the wilderness. There are unforgettable side-quests and delightful supporting characters to distract you at every turn, but you best remember Geralt's primary goal: finding his adopted daughter (and witcher-in-training) Ciri before some supremely evil people get to her first.

That's not to say that you need to rush through the main story, because taking the time to stop and smell the eviscerated corpses is well worth it. The sword-and-spell-casting combat looks stunning on new-gen, and the deep upgrade system gives you plenty of options to slay your way. There are a few hitches - notably some framerate issues that can hopefully be patched out - but the sheer depth of the overall experience makes The Witcher 3 a triumph among action RPGs. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got to return to a rousing round of the in-game card battler Gwent.

It takes a lot to make a fighting game appeal to the masses. You need slick graphics, excellent presentation, and the kind of depth that'll ensnare those highly skilled players who people want to watch. has got all that, and more. While the Fatality finishers still pack in more gore than you can shake a disembodied limb at, MKX brings a lot of new, refreshing ideas to the table that really make this fighter stand out.

For starters, there's the variations mechanic: every combatant has three unique movesets to choose from before each fight, letting character loyalists mix things up and giving the roster a wildly diverse variety of playstyles. You'll also have a blast playing through the elaborate story mode, which introduces a swath of likeable newcomers while imbuing familiar faces with . The online play still has a few kinks that could be worked out, but fans of the Mortal Kombat series - or fighting games in general - will have one hell of a time with MKX.

Of all the re-releases that have come out this year, .

Xenoblade Chronicles 3D is massive, sporting one of the most interesting locales ever designed. Its sprawling swamps and rolling hills - all set on the backs of two titan-sized dead gods and filled with beasts both great and small - are practically begging to be conquered. While its lush, verdant landscapes lose a little luster and detail on the smaller screen, what you trade in graphical quality you gain back in portability. Being able to take an adventure of this magnificent scope with you wherever you go is a technical marvel. Don't miss it.

somehow manages to be diamond tough and lovingly tender at the same time, balancing out its demanding difficulty with a story that'll practically yank your heartstrings right out of your chest. Playing this open-world platformer puts you in a wondrous state of conflict: the tight controls inspire you to run free throughout the lush world, but the sheer depth of the beyond-gorgeous backdrop art makes you want to stand still and gaze at the environment for hours.

The protagonist Ori is such a cute li'l critter that it's hard to watch the fuzzball die again and again while you struggle to overcome the many deathtraps and spike pits in this treacherous forest. But you'll get over any bruises to your ego, so long as you remember that you're the one responsible for plunking down checkpoints before delving into the trickier bits. The degree of challenge here may rattle anyone without an affinity for hardcore 2D platformers, but Ori's dazzling presentation has a universal, heartfelt appeal.

You’ve probably heard that is really hard. You might've heard it’s really easy. The reality lies somewhere in between. Yes, it sends an army of writhing, fanged, flayed, terrible, tormented beasts your way, beasts only someone bragging about their perceived gamer cred would ever deem a pushover. But it teaches you how to deal with them expertly, their unique attacks and defenses and behaviors, building you up until you look and feel like a great gothic badass. And when you do, you'll have earned it.

In streamlining some of Dark Souls’ complexities (the weight system, magic attacks, a few character skills here and there), Bloodborne gains a rawer sense of immediacy, with vital combat that require relentless attacking sans the comfort blanket of a shield, and unpredictable bosses that force you to develop reflexes alongside your already honed skills of pattern memorization. Oh, and the world. That mystifying, atmospheric, intricately hewn world. Developed for PS4 from the ground-up, the enigmatic Yarnham looks like a beautiful waking nightmare.

If you've yet to succumb to monster hunting fever, you might wonder what all the fuss is about. Plenty of games let you battle vicious beasties and craft fancy gear - but few can develop the kind of player investment and cooperative dedication typical of Monster Hunter. For the uninitiated, is a great way to educate yourself on its gloriously addictive ways. Not just because it's the most beginner-friendly entry in Capcom's hit series - it's also the best Monster Hunter game yet.

Gathering materials and killing harmless herbivores is really just a build-up to something greater: downing fearsome creatures after incredibly demanding battles that require true mastery of your chosen weapon. Series vets are already familiar with MH's captivating gameplay loop of fighting and looting, but the new Charge Blade and Insect Glaive playstyles offer entirely unique ways to test your prowess. If you're looking to start or join a dedicated hunting party - preferably with an expert as your guide - Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate offers the kind of adventure that can hook you for hundreds of hours.

Majora's Mask is... well, it's a bit weird. Instead of following the familiar formula that Zelda games have stuck to for years, Majora's Mask asks that you play the same three days over and over again, trying to make the world a little bit brighter each time. It's certainly strange, and more than a little stressful - but taking the time to learn its rhythm opens up one of the most intriguing and creative Legend of Zelda games ever made. Perhaps that's why, 15 years and a 3DS port later, it feels even better than ever.

Much of that feeling is thanks to the improvements found in this portable version of the N64 classic. The updated Bomber's Notebook makes tracking numerous sidequests a painless process, boss design has been retooled to make things teresting, and additional save points help make portable adventuring much more palatable. Plus, New 3DS owners even have some improved camera control with the C-Stick. Whether this is your first time playing through those ominous 72 hours or your hundredth, is a master quest that stands the test of time.

Grim Fandango is, without a doubt, one of the most unique video games ever made. The quest of an undead travel agent as he attempts to atone for his sins is a love letter to film noir greats like Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon, but it also transcends its influences to be something truly original. And with , you'll finally get to play this lost classic on your PlayStation 4, complete with (some) updated graphics and a fantastic re-recording of the original score.

Grim Fandango is also one of the most uniquely frustrating games ever made, and the Remastered edition only serves to highlight its many game-ruining bugs. Whether it's glitching out a puzzle, clipping you through a wall, or just flat out crashing, Grim Fandango Remastered actually seems buggier now than it did 17 years ago. Make no mistake: Manny's journey is still definitely one worth revisiting - just remember to save your game. Often.

sounds kinda ridiculous at first - it's literally a remastered HD version of a rebuilt SD version of the original Resident Evil. Turns out the joke's on us, though, because that's all we really needed to enjoy the survival horror staple all over again: the HD Remake gives all the main characters and the Spencer Mansion an enticing facelift but keeps the little quirks that make Resident Evil awesome/a total headache/undeniably unique.

You'll still need to manage eight (at most) inventory slots, and you'll still need to keep your distance from downed zombies - or preferably burn them on the spot. The most major change is the new default control scheme, which makes it handle more like a modern fixed-camera game, but you're free to select the old 'tank' controls if you want. With modern conveniences where it needs them and good old weirdness where it doesn't, Resident Evil HD Remake is a near masterpiece… of unlocking.

Destiny’s lore is vast and complex, but you’ll only be exposed to it if you go looking for it. Why? Because much of it exists in the Grimoire cards – the out-of-game encyclopaedia you unlock as you play. If you actually go and read those small bits of text on bungie.net or the companion app you’ll find some fascinating stories about the characters, guns, enemies, and much more.

The best thing about it all? The stories are still incomplete. Players are still uncovering the mysteries of Destiny’s universe, piecing together weapon descriptions, Grimoire text and spoken dialogue to understand the overall picture. There is some truly amazing storytelling in Destiny and, while the hunt for Destiny’s tales is something every player must undertake themselves, here is just a small glimpse of the secret narrative threads woven deep into the game.

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Finishing Destiny's first raid was quite the team effort with it's winding paths, challenging bosses, and teamwork-focused trials. But all that cooperation would all be for naught if Kabr and his fellow guardians didn't explore the Vault first. See, there's a relic in the Vault of Glass that is essential to defeating the Templar and Atheon himself, and Kabr was the one who made it.

The Grimoire says that Kabr entered the Vault on his own, killed a Gorgon (a Vex that erases your existence from time), and crafted a light-infused shield for future guardians to use against the Vex. After he created the relic, Kabr was assimilated by the Vex and disappeared leaving only his armor to be found by other Titans.

If you've been playing Destiny, you've seen this guy's name all over item descriptions and bounties. Well, it turns out, he is a very important character. Toland is a Guardian, but not the heroic kind of Guardian. He's more of a mad scientist type. He studied the Hive, and was actually one of the Guardians in Eris Morn's (the creepy-eyed lady that shows up in the Tower with the Dark Below DLC) fireteam that attempted to destroy Crota before the rest of us got a crack at him.

Toland delved into the dark side. He studied the Darkness to such a degree that he was able to commune with it, resulting in him hearing voices, creating dark weapons like the exotic pulse rifle Bad Juju, and experiencing all sorts of unpleasant things. Because other guardians thought he'd gone too far, he was exiled from the city for his practices and considered him a madman, but some Guardians thought his knowledge invaluable. Toland definitely lives in a the grey area between good and evil. Hopefully we'll see him return in the future.

Who or what is the Traveler? Yeah, it's that floating moon thing hanging over the city and it somehow gives the Guardians their powers, but that's pretty much everything the in-game narrative tells you. In the Dreams of Alpha Lupi Grimoire cards, you get a little more detail on what the Traveler is through rather interesting poetic verse detailing visions of the solar system, the Traveler, and the Darkness.

There are a few details to pull from the cards. The Traveler isn't actually the floating sphere you see from the tower, but is a god that drags a moon-sized ball around that contains its memories. For untold eons it's traveled around solar systems establishing civilizations and terraforming worlds. Most importantly, it ushered humanity into the Golden Age. But all that creation work the Traveler was doing came to a grinding halt when the Darkness started chasing after it. Eventually the Darkness caught up to the Traveler, stripped it of it's power, and left a husk hovering over Earth.

When you fire up Destiny for the first time, you're treated to a cinematic showing astronauts landing on Mars and finding a giant, floating sphere. If you collect the right Grimoire cards you'll find the backstory behind this scene detailing the astronaut Jacob Hardy and his crew's discovery of the Traveler. This is the time before the Golden Age, when humans were basically living like we do now, except, they have things like lightspeed travel. The Traveler had been spotted jumping around our solar system and eventually landed on Mars. Because the alien object was coming a bit too close for comfort, humanity decided to investigate.

This event was essentially the equivalent of the real life moon landing (but in the Destiny universe). The Ares 1 crew was the first expedition to investigate the alien sphere on Mars, Jacob Hardy said the famous words, "We're walking into a rising wind," upon setting foot on the planet, and they made contact with the Traveler. What's most interesting about the tale, is that after being exposed to the Traveler's Light, Jacob Hardy inherited a longer life span, saying he felt like a young man at 90 years old.

The next two slides are connected so pay attention. This Wild West tale is told from the perspective of a young boy living in a backwater town ruled by an abusive magistrate named Loken. One day the mysterious Jaren Ward, a Guardian, walks into the town carrying the hand cannon, The Last Word, and at some point (which isn't entirely clear in the Grimoire) rids the townsfolk of their dictator with a lightning fast draw and a bullet between the eyes. The last exchange between to two men: "Those gonna be your last words then, boy?" said Loken. POW. "Yours, not mine," Jaren replied. Pretty badass, huh?

Yup, Jaren Ward is the righteous hero. Eventually, it seems the young boy becomes a Guardian years later and joins up with the hunter Jaren Ward and his group (probably though , lol). The last time the young Guardian hears of Jaren Ward was the sound of a duel between Jaren's Last Word and something "more sinister." And without formation from the Grimoire, we're left with a cliffhanger. That is, until you read about Thorn and the evil Dredgen Yor.

Dredgen Yor's story tells of a once great man and hero who looked to the secrets of the Hive to find a way to destroy the Darkness. But it seems, that the fallen hero lost control because of the evil magic from the Hive weapon Thorn, and got really tired of being a good guy. Once a champion of the Crucible, Yor turns to the dark side, and becomes responsible for the murder of several guardians and more .

The details on the character are still pretty scattered, but one theory out there links Dredgen Yor to the guardian Jaren Ward. As in, they are both the same person. Yor is said to have killed Ward in a duel, but other clues in the Grimoire cards suggest that the two are of the same body. It seems Ward was seduced by the Darkness. The Guardian ceased to be Jaren Ward and became Dredgen Yor. And when that happened, the good man that was Jaren Ward was destroyed. So, what the Grimoire tells us is true - from a certain point of view. Sounds like a familiar plotline, right (hint: Star Wars)? Even Jaren Ward's adopted son grows up to become the hunter that kills Dredgen Yor with the Last Word!

Something strange happens during The Archive mission on Venus – something you probably registered once and then glossed over with every repeated Daily playthrough. When you step into the Archive, you’re called Dr Shim – and your Ghost brushes it off as nothing. While it could be nothing more than your Ghost using Dr Shim’s credentials to power up the bunker (some fans have speculated you play as a revived Dr Shim, which seems unlikely given the evidence, while others instead prefer the theory that you’re Jaren Ward’s protégé Shin Malphur), reading into Dr Shim’s story uncovers a great subplot involving research into the Vex that uncovered a higher definition, but otherwise complete and intact, virtual simulation of the real world inside the Vex’s mind.

When four researchers discovered simulations of themselves debating that very topic inside the Vex mind, it sparked a discussion about reality versus unreality, the morality of preserving their simulated selves over pulling the plug, and whether the Warmind is capable of infiltrating the Vex consciousness and rescuing the simulations of humans. And you thought Inception was complicated.

You’ve seen their decals on the side of weapons and you’ve probably completed many a mission for this faction, but did you know that Future War Cult was formed around a machine called The Device that could predict the future? The FWC Grimoire entry records this story in detail: those who entered The Device were sent mad by the visions (which predicted the Darkness’ coming and the destruction of mankind), so FWC needed to employ stronger minds to help withstand these sights without breaking.

And while not explicitly clear, the inference is that FWC either created, or discovered and repaired, the Exo in order to shoulder this job for them. Which brings us to the Exo Stranger. She’s clearly an important part of the story and we haven’t yet seen the last of her. And consider this: the Stranger’s Rifle she gifts you at the end of the main questline contains parts that shouldn’t yet exist…

During the main game’s story and The Dark Below, we come to learn plenty about Rasputin – the last surviving Warmind. Tasked with protecting humanity – a mission Rasputin believed impossible when the Darkness arrived – the Warmind changed his core’s programming and implemented the MIDNIGHT EXIGENT protocol; eventually powering down to survive the Darkness’ attack.

However, analysis of the Grimoire cards points to a much darker tale during the Darkness’ arrival. Without official confirmation this story teeters on the edge of conspiracy theory, but throughout Destiny we’re told that our souls are Light – and that Rasputin knew that Light must be harnessed to defeat the Darkness. After launching colony ships from the Cosmodrome to protect what little of humanity Rasputin could, the Warmind had to alter his own code in order to then sacrifice the rest of mankind on Earth to stand a chance in the battle against the Darkness, birthing the Awoken in the process.

Have you been following Destiny's lore like I have? Do you have any favorite stories? Have you pieced together any interesting tales? Keep searching for those grimoire cards and let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Want more from GamesRadar? Check out our list of 2015's most anticipated games.

In games, nothing can be said to be certain except death and… well, mostly that. Death as a consequence of failure has been a part of games since the days of , and what came after has stayed pretty much the same: a Game Over screen, a Continue? prompt (maybe with an exchange of quarters in there somewhere), and you begin again as if nothing happened. That's been the gaming standard for decades and it's practical enough, but it can make death insignificant.

But not all games play to that standard - some choose not to ignore that you were a corpse just a moment ago, choosing instead to weave the reason for your resurrection into the gameplay. Death isn't merely an inconvenience that loudly reminds you you're in a video game!, but a real part of the game with a place in its world. It’s not the right fit for every situation, of course, but a creative workaround for death can genuinely enhance your playing experience.

As seen in: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, Assassin's Creed, Tales from the Borderlands

We all know how it goes when you tell your friends some incredible personal story: you fudge the details and forget things, so you sometimes have to back up and correct yourself. Most of us stop short of claiming we died during our travels, but video game protagonists have a habit of trading in extremes. When they describe their adventures after the fact, they'll detail their own demise before remembering that they're very much alive, and none of that actually happened.

Being able to explain away death as overenthusiastic storytelling is a happy accident - the frame exists for bigger reasons, to keep you wondering how (rather than if) the hero escapes deadly harm to recount the story later. That makes this non-death a close cousin of the standard revert-to-checkpoint approach, but one thing saves it: its sense of humor. You get to feel like you're in on the joke, and hearing how the protagonist explains away their mistake can be worth the failure. It can even seem logical, if it's .

As seen in: BioShock, Borderlands, Crackdown

In the very near future (sometimes so near that it's actually the past), mankind hammers out all the ethical and biological ramifications of cloning and starts mass production on personal body copies. Now you can get clones like snacks out of a vending machine, which is convenient when your job involves being repeatedly destroyed by enemies who want to nail you into the ground like a tent spike.

This kind of death-dodging works best in games that are meant to be challenging, but also aim to create a certain feeling around each fight. For instance, the most satisfying conclusion to a Big Daddy battle in BioShock is watching a giant monster go down after throwing everything you have at it, which doesn't work as well if you have to completely restart the fight every time it kills you. Fighting your way through Rapture has to feel difficult if the struggle is going to be meaningful, but you don't want to lose out on the rhythm each fight is meant to have. Having another you waiting in the wings, ready to be spawned on a moment's notice, keeps you on beat.

As seen in: Dark Souls, Shadow of Mordor, Bloodborne

If used incorrectly, this can quickly become the narrative equivalent of the creators throwing up their hands and storming out of the room. Given that you do technically come back to life time and time again, immortality is the laziest possible explanation if nothing more is done with it. Thankfully, the games that use this concept best avoid that by making immortality an even bigger part of the game.

The immortality method takes some serious commitment from the game to avoid looking like a cop-out. By planting the concept deep in their world lore (the way, for example, Dark Souls does by making you an Undead out to destroy the source of your reanimation), unending life becomes as much a part of the plot as it is a gameplay device. It never feels like there's an unnatural break when the protagonist dies, because it falls perfectly in line with the storyline.

As seen in: Grand Theft Auto, City of Heroes

There's little way to play this one straight, but that's half the fun. Regardless of what sort of damage your character is subjected to - falling from a ten-story building, getting run over by a Jeep, slamming a jet into a suspension bridge and succumbing to the resulting inferno - nothing actually kills them. Instead, after the loading screen comes and goes, they trot out of the nearest hospital, with nothing to indicate their misadventure except a slightly lighter wallet.

This undeath is sure to get a few laughs on principle, which is part of its appeal: it's the game giving you a wink and a nod over your unfortunate and likely stupid demise while showing it doesn't really care to punish you. In fact, it purposefully moves you from the place where you died so you can start fresh somewhere else and not have to immediately deal with what just killed you. That's why you mostly see this in sandbox games - where it would be incredibly annoying to restart far away from your goal in a linear title, in an open-world it feels like a respite, so you're free to go cause mayhem elsewhere.

As seen in: Destiny, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Too Human

It's good to have friends in high places - or low ones, depending on your perspective. While the hero may not have a supply of body copies on hand, they do have a patron deity who's interested in keeping them alive. That means whenever they bite it, their connection to those divine beings is what raises them from the dead, just in time for to charge back into the fight and send their enemies into cardiac arrest.

This one can both be taken seriously or played for laughs, based on how the game frames the situation. The ethereal Traveler in Destiny is taken very seriously, so it's a matter of grave importance when its power is used to raise a fallen guardian. Same goes for Too Human, where you're resurrected by Valkyries. Meanwhile, in Conker's Bad Fur Day, a drunken squirrel makes a deal with the Grim Reaper to pay for new lives with severed squirrel tails, which everyone involved knows is weird. In either case, it gives the main character an even greater sense of importance: not only are they untouchable, but they have a patron god keeping them that way, because they're just that important to the survival of the world (or whatever's going on in Conker).

As seen in: Psychonauts, The Talos Principle, Ether One

We're getting downright here, when death adversion is based on the idea that you have no physical form to kill. Whether that's because you're a robot, or are projecting into a digital world, the result is the same: you get an infinite amount of 'lives' because dying kills the image of you, not your essence. Deep.

While that seems like a simple way to handwave in-game death, since your synthetic form can be mentioned once and never again, it takes serious legwork to implement it in any game with a hint of story. Portal's co-op mode gets away with it because the robot bodies are just there to facilitate you shooting holes in the wall, but something like The Talos Principle has to explain why you, robot, need so many bodies to accomplish your objective. Robot-projection death only works if it's built into the bedrock of the game, but when it is, your mechanical immortality can itself open up interesting questions. Reaching your goal is the only way for this all to end, but what could be so important that the game keeps endlessly rebuilding you to do it?

As seen in: Super Meat Boy

You're not a creature of this world. For whatever reason the laws of physics and biology don't apply to you, and after being mercilessly splattered against a stray sawblade, you're able to gather up your own remains and reconstitute yourself. There's no pretenses of logic here, no attempt to explain how you flagrantly defy the blueprint of the universe. Just you, reforming yourself at the end of every death, the game daring you to question it.

This approach only really works if a game is willing to commit to the levels of absurdity it demands. But once that's accomplished, this may well be the most indisputable death dodge out there, because it isn't really a dodge at all. You die, and have enough will left to rebuild yourself through a means that only the unforgiving cosmos understands. That, in a weird way, becomes the epitome of persistence. If the protagonist is willing to scrape what remains of their flesh off yet another death contraption and do it all over again, what excuse do you have?

The creative twists on death I've described here range from stiff-lipped serious to unapologetically silly, but all have the same aim: give in-game death as much consideration and coherence as every other part of the story.

When death is tweaked to fit the game, rather than the other way around, that attention to detail makes the world of the game feel so much fuller, and death itself more genuine. Many of these death-aversions are just as strange as time-reserved regeneration, if not more so. Most players will buy the idea of a restart without a second thought, while walking out of a hospital unscathed after falling out of a helicopter might be hard to buy. But it's the effort that makes it believable, to carve death into the proper shape that makes it fit into the overall puzzle. And so you have a better game, even when it involves a helium-inhaling Grim Reaper.

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain finally launches on September 1st, but the number in its title is misleading - The Phantom Pain will actually be the twentieth game in the increasingly sprawling and convoluted Metal Gear universe. If you're just tuning in, it can be difficult to sort through nearly 30 years of tactical espionage action, walking nuclear missile-equipped battle tanks, and hours upon hours of expertly directed cut-scenes - and of course, not all Metal Gears are created equal.

While Metal Gear will forever be series creator Hideo Kojima's brainchild (and the series ), it's also much bigger than one man, spiraling out into countless spin-offs and side entries, each one forming a piece of a much larger story. Some of them are far more important to the overall canon - or simply more fun - than the others, though, so I've taken it upon myself to look back over Metal Gear's entire legacy and rank every single game that made it to the West. If you're looking to catch up on the best Metal Gear games before The Phantom Pain hits or simply want to know the best place to start your descent into Outer Heaven, look no further.

While not technically a separate release in the US or Europe (it was only released as a stand-alone disc and as an arcade cabinet in Japan) Metal Gear Online deserves special recognition for its multiplayer ambitions. Taking the core gameplay ideas from Metal Gear Solid 4 and expanding them to take advantage of its online nature, MGO may not have been the best multiplayer game ever, but it was not short of ideas.

MGO brings all the weapons, stealthy moves, and cardboard boxes over from MGS4, but it also makes use of the Sons of the Patriots network of nanomachines to tie everything together. You won't just be able to see where your teammates are - you can even keep track of your enemies by hacking into their nanomachines. Sadly, Konami shut the servers off back in 2012 and effectively patched the game out of existence, though some dedicated fans have found a way to , even if it's practically on life-support.

There are ways to convert popular console franchises to mobile devices without sacrificing what makes those games so special, but everything about Metal Gear Solid Touch screams ‘soulless cash grab’. Loosely following the plot of MGS4, Touch takes the series' trademark open-ended stealth action and converts it into a bland, uninspired shooting gallery. Enemy soldiers appear on each stage, and you swipe your finger on the screen to aim and tap to fire. Occasionally you have to zoom in to shoot a distant enemy or switch to your rocket launcher to take out a lumbering Gekko. That's about it.

Everything about MGS Touch feels cheap - characters and environments look like they've been poorly Photoshopped out of MGS4, enemies fall down in three jarring frames of animation when shot, and the gameplay is far too basic to be engaging. Unless you're so desperate that you absolutely have to have a Metal Gear fix available at all times, it's best to pretend MGS Touch doesn't exist.

Snake's Revenge isn't low on this list because it's a bad game. As a follow-up to the NES version of Metal Gear, it's actually surprisingly decent, providing more of the same stealth gameplay with an all new story. It even has a few interesting gameplay twists of its own, as you can actually interrogate enemy commanders for information by hitting them with a canister of truth gas.

But Snake's Revenge isn't really a Metal Gear game. It was made specifically for North America and Europe because of the popularity of the first game, and series creator Hideo Kojima had no knowledge that the game was even being worked on until well into its development. Kojima began work on a true sequel, Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, which released exclusively in Japan six months after Snake's Revenge. Kojima's game went on to become series canon, while Snake's Revenge became apocrypha - an interesting curiosity, but nothing more.

If you follow a franchise long enough, you're bound to see strange spin-offs into completely new genres. While we haven't had a Metal Gear Soccer game (yet), Konami converted the classic stealth series into a turn-based strategy/collectable card game called Metal Gear Acid for the launch of PSP. The most surprising thing? Despite its flaws, it actually works.

Acid takes the sneaking, shooting, and cardboard-box wearing action found in the core titles, and puts them all into the most bizarre board game you've ever played. Actions and items are relegated to cards that you can earn while you play, and Metal Gear Acid is as much about building your deck for each level as it is about figuring out the opportune moment to play your cards. Its pacing isn't for everyone, its story isn't canon, and many of its biggest issues end up getting fixed in the sequel, but Metal Gear Acid is still an interesting experiment.

The first game developed by the (allegedly) recently dissolved Kojima Productions, Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops marks the very first time a canonical entry has appeared on a handheld… kind of. Set six years after the events of Snake Eater, Portable Ops follows the exploits of Big Boss and his attempts to build the beginnings of a soldier's paradise. Since Kojima was only a producer on Portable Ops, though, its importance to the overall storyline is debatable.

Portable Ops does, however, introduce the neat ability to find and recruit soldiers in the field - an idea expanded on by Peace Walker and more fully fleshed out in The Phantom Pain. The controls aren't great (curse the PSP's lack of a second analog stick), but it does a decent job of taking the modern 3D Metal Gear style and making it playable on the go. Just be careful: if you want the story, get Portable Ops, as PO Plus is a stand-alone expansion that rips out the story entirely.

The original Metal Gear may not have aged as gracefully as some classic games, but many of the ideas found in Solid Snake's first outing still show up, even in recent entries. Metal Gear introduces the cardboard box, iconic characters like Solid Snake, Grey Fox, and Big Boss, and the stealth gameplay that would become the series' hallmark. Ironically, this was a design necessity at the time thanks to the limitations of the Japanese MSX2 computer. While both the MSX2 and Nintendo Entertainment System versions are similar in how they play, the MSX2 is officially considered canon, thanks to the host of changes made to the NES version without Kojima's consent.

In order to fit Metal Gear on the inferior NES hardware, Metal Gear was forced to undergo a graphical downgrade - but the changes don't stop there. Plot points were removed, a new intro sequence and additional story elements were added, and the difficulty was greatly increased. Heck, the titular Metal Gear doesn't even show up in the NES version, instead sending Snake into a boss fight against a giant supercomputer. Much of the gameplay remains exactly the same despite these changes, but the MSX2 version is without a doubt the superior entry.

Ground Zeroes is the cold open to a much larger game, a glorified demo sold at a premium as a way to tide die-hard Metal Gear fans over until The Phantom Pain finally launches this year. It's like taking the Tanker chapter from Metal Gear Solid 2 and breaking it out into its own separate release - only worse, because the single story mission offered in Ground Zeroes will only take about an hour to finish. The Side Ops try to add a little more substance, but there's no denying that Ground Zeroes is extremely light on content.

What Ground Zeroes does best, though, is show off the graphical potential of the Fox Engine and the evolution of the series' stealth gameplay - and the gameplay is great. Streamlining many of Metal Gear's more obtuse systems, Ground Zeroes is more accessible to new players while still offering a surprising amount of depth and strategic options. Ultimately, Ground Zeroes currently exists as pure, unfiltered potential of what open-world stealth can look like, and we won't know how successful this experiment really is until The Phantom Pain closes the book on Metal Gear Solid 5 in September.

VR Missions isn't quite a ‘full game’, as there's no campaign or story to speak of, but that doesn't mean it's short on content. Instead, think of VR Missions as a stand-alone expansion to one of the greatest stealth games of all time, taking its core concepts and devising a wide array of sneaking time trials and puzzles to go with them.

Featuring over 300 bite-sized stages, VR Missions runs the gamut, from weapon-based challenges to pure stealth gauntlets. VR Missions isn't afraid to explore the weird side of Metal Gear Solid either, letting you solve murder mysteries, take on Godzilla-sized genome soldiers, or even play as the coolest cyborg ninja ever. If Metal Gear Solid is the main course, then VR Missions is one hell of a dessert.

Metal Gear Acid 2 takes the unique card-battling board game introduced in the first game, and makes everything better. The controls are more refined, turns are faster-paced, and your turn no longer ends when you open doors - a huge improvement from the first game. There are also way more cards to collect, with over 500 this time around, each one representing a different weapon, item, or moment from the storied franchise.

The additions don't stop there, though. An arena mode lets you fight against iconic bosses like Liquid Snake with Acid's unique turn-based system, allowing you to earn points outside of the story to buy new cards. Improved tutorials and guides explain and inform you of Acid's various systems, and are available for perusal at any moment. And the game even comes with a bizarre cardboard contraption called the Solid Eye, which lets you play in 3D for literally no other reason than because it looks cool.

The true, canonical sequel to Metal Gear is better than the first game in almost every way, and it makes the unofficial Snake's Revenge look primitive by comparison. The music is better, the animations are more fluid, and the story is deeper and more complex - which makes it all the more surprising that the game wouldn't officially leave its native Japan for nearly 16 years. Thankfully, the Western release of Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence finally gave us a chance to experience this lost chapter in the series' history.

Metal Gear 2 didn't just improve the enemy AI or give Snake a radar and the ability to crawl into tight spots; it's also the first entry that forces the player to break the fourth wall and scan their instruction manual for tap codes and other clues to find new codec frequencies. If not for some unfortunate backtracking, Metal Gear 2 would be the perfect 2D entry in the series.

Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes is the glorious result of the unlikeliest of partnerships. Helmed by Eternal Darkness developer Silicon Knights, produced by Hideo Kojima and Shigeru Miyamoto, and featuring new cutscenes by Japanese action flick director Ryuhei Kitamura, The Twin Snakes takes the classic Metal Gear Solid experience and completely overhauls it for the GameCube, featuring updated graphics and controls found in Metal Gear Solid 2, as well as a re-translated and re-recorded script.

So if Twin Snakes is such an improvement over the original, why does it end up ranking lower? Well, for one, the changes to the gameplay actually make Metal Gear Solid way easier, as the level design and boss encounters weren't originally meant to be tackled with first-person shooting, tranquilizer darts, or by hanging from ledges. Plus, Twin Snakes' cut-scenes are perhaps a bit too over-the-top, as and performs other feats of anime ridiculousness. Twin Snakes is still one hell of a trip, even if some of the magic gets lost in the transition.

Metal Gear Solid 2 ended on a bizarre cliffhanger, raising far more questions than it actually answered, and when Kojima wanted to end the trilogy with a detour to the 1960s, fans begged for proper closure to the story that began in Metal Gear Solid. And boy, did Kojima deliver, tying up every single loose thread of Metal Gear's labyrinthine narrative - almost to a fault.

Metal Gear Solid 4 is layered with brilliant systems. Snake's OctoCamo lets him blend seamlessly into his environment like a chameleon. Rebel factions are constantly at war with PMCs, and both sides can be played against each other, allowing Snake to sneak past undetected. Extra guns can be snagged and converted into Drebin points, allowing you to buy new gear and weapon upgrades. But it's all in service to the countless 30-minute-or-longer cut-scenes the game funnels you into. MGS4 offers a satisfyingly outrageous conclusion to one of the most convoluted franchises ever - if only the gameplay had more room to breathe.

Revengeance better than MGS4? Yup. While the Metal Gear series constantly waffles between melodrama and goofiness, Revengeance is pure fan-service, taking Metal Gear's themes and slicing them all up into tiny pieces. It even turns the series' most reviled character into an unstoppable badass. It follows the events of MGS4, as Raiden investigates the fallout caused by the sudden implosion of corporate militarization. His hyper-violent journey leads him right to the doorstep of Senator Anderson, a cyborg who delivers the .

In Revengeance stealth is secondary, a way to thin the field a bit before you inevitably get spotted. But, honestly, who needs to sneak around when you have a sword capable of severing limbs like a hot knife cuts through butter? With a strategic series of cuts, you can remove arms or legs to cripple your foes, or simply rend them in half to reveal their juicy, life-replenishing innards. Don't question it - just go along for the highly entertaining, ridiculously satisfying ride.

It doesn't matter that the Game Boy Color version of Metal Gear Solid (known as Ghost Babel in Japan) isn't canon, taking place on an alternate timeline seven years after the events of the original Metal Gear. It doesn't matter that the Game Boy Color isn't that much more powerful than the NES and sports as many buttons. Somehow, Metal Gear Solid on the Game Boy Color manages to blend the retro stylings of the MSX2 entries with the modern improvements made by the classic PlayStation entry, culminating in the greatest 2D Metal Gear game ever made.

Despite its small stature, Metal Gear Solid on the Game Boy Color packs in a deep, mature storyline (while still being rated 'E', no less), following Snake as he battles a separatist force in Central Africa and listens to (or reads, in this case) reams of codec dialog. It's still amazing what the developers were able to pack into such a small cartridge, how nothing was sacrificed to make a seemingly simple-looking game with all the complexity of its bigger console brothers. Don't write it off just because it's on a Game Boy - this Metal Gear is one of the best.

Hideo Kojima is a master manipulator, and no game proves this more than Metal Gear Solid 2. In the run up to its release, he teased videos showcasing series hero Solid Snake front and center - then pulled the rug out from everyone by replacing him with the inexperienced Raiden for the game's second half. Highly contentious at the time, the dust has settled since its release, and Sons of Liberty is finally appreciated for what it is: one of the first and finest post-modern video games.

As a sequel to one the most highly regarded action games of all time, Kojima was aware of the expectations heaped upon MGS2, and played on them perfectly. The jump from PlayStation to PS2 allowed Kojima to deliver an absurd attention to detail, as well as some of the best graphics of the era (only a year into the PS2's lifespan, too!). But he also used it as an opportunity to reflect on the nature of sequels, effectively reusing the same story beats from Metal Gear Solid and flipping them upside down. By the end of Sons of Liberty, it's hard to separate reality from fiction - which means it's working exactly as Kojima intended.

Some people complain that Metal Gear games have way too many cutscenes and not enough gameplay, and for some entries it's a valid concern (see: Metal Gear Solid 4). But Peace Walker takes those complaints and jettisons them into the ocean, making this portable title one of the biggest, most expansive Metal Gear outings yet.

Taking place a few years after Portable Ops, Peace Walker sees Big Boss continuing to build his mercenary army - only this time, you'll have a full-on outpost called Mother Base to grow. Big Boss undertakes a wide variety of missions set during the backdrop of the Nicaraguan Revolution of the 1970s, recruiting new soldiers, researching gear upgrades, and even developing a Metal Gear of his own. The sweeping story is still here, but between building out Mother Base and fighting actual monsters from Monster Hunter, there's enough gameplay to fill up a dozen Metal Gear titles. The HD release greatly improves the controls and adds online multiplayer, making it the definitive version of the game. If not for its lackluster boss fights and some unfortunate resource grinding, Peace Walker would be the number one game in the series - it's that good.

The original PlayStation hit Metal Gear Solid is still one of the best, as almost every single one of its sequels and spin-offs ends up living in the shadow of this classic. Its story deals in a heady mix of nuclear proliferation, illegal cloning, double-crosses, and paranormal activity, and it moves at a rapid-fire pace for the duration of its 10-hour campaign. It was a revelation at the time, wearing its Hollywood aspirations on its sleeve while never forgetting that it's still a video game at heart.

Few games can boast the sheer amount of amazing twists in Metal Gear Solid. The mysterious death of the DARPA Chief; finding Meryl's Codec frequency on the back of the game's actual CD case; the fourth wall-breaking battle against Psycho Mantis; Snake's capture and escape from prison; and so many more that I could fill this entire slide and still not have enough space to gush about everything cool that happens. Even with its rudimentary 3D graphics, Metal Gear Solid remains a masterpiece, second only to...

The Metal Gear series' hard left turn into the Cold War era remains its best, taking everything fans love about the series' narrative and gameplay and executing on them to near-perfection. Its story is the tightest and most thrilling of the bunch, using a pastiche of 1960s spy movies to tell the origin of just about every single narrative thread in the series. Plus, the story just feels so much more human than the rest, dropping a convoluted web of nanomachines and artificial intelligence to focus on Naked Snake and his subsequent fall from grace as he discovers the truth behind the betrayal of his mentor and friend, The Boss.

The jungles of Russia change up Metal Gear's stealth gameplay for the better, forcing Snake to utilize a wide variety of camouflage to tip-toe through Snake Eater's various locales without getting spotted. But it's not enough just to sneak - Snake has to survive, foraging for food among the flora and fauna of the untamed wilds and tending to wounds he receives on the battlefield. It's hard to top a classic such as Metal Gear Solid, but Snake Eater manages to surpass its predecessors with dozens of memorable moments of its own and gameplay that has yet to be matched - and if you're new to the series, .

The God Damn Batmobile. It should absolutely work in video games. In fact, it may as well have been designed for them. A racing car mixed with a tank mixed with a Transformer mixed with a bat mixed with a Swiss Army Knife? By rights that should be the most exciting thing you could possibly be handed the controls to. Or so you might think...

The Batmobile's various flirtations with the world of video games have rarely ended well. Occasionally spectacularly, yes, but 'consistent' isn't a word I would associate with the quality of the offerings. Nor 'dependable' or even 'adequate'. So let's look at the best and the worst of the Batmobile in games.

The Batmobile bumps, slides, shoots and clatters through Gotham's streets, in between buildings and under overhanging pipes. The scaling effect of sprites that make up the scenery is best described with sexy words like 'rampant'. Or 'engorged'. It's action-packed, too, with big crims' vehicles packing flamethrowers, and giant Jack-in-the-box heads bouncing around on springs.

And you know what? I don't think it's a coincidence that Arkham Knight's Batmobile is best when you're using it exactly like you do in this game. Chasing other vehicles, barging into smaller ones, and breathlessly tearing through the amazing gothic architecture of Gotham City... this is how it should be done.

It's funny how things evolve, isn't it? The Mega-CD game you just saw is eerily reminiscent of this now-ancient movie tie-in, from the undulating terrain to the pleasantly solid-feeling vehicles you need to avoid. But all you do is drive – there's no shooting here. And then there's the problem caused by technical limitations. How exactly does Batman turn into a side-street when the graphics engine can't handle a 90-degree corner?

I'm sorry – I'm forgetting Batman is the Batman. He simply shoots a grapple line out of the side of the Batmobile, latches onto a handily-placed, titanium-strengthened, mile-rooted lamp post and swings the whole thing around, picking up where the action left off on the next straight. He loves doing this so much, if he misses, he waits for the next street so he can have another go. Never once even considers applying the brakes and turning the corner like anyone else. Weird bastard.

But let's spare a thought for poor old ZX Spectrum users, who didn't get any pseudo-3D Bat-shenanigans. Instead, they got to negotiate side-scrolling Gotham rush hour, erm… bumping into taxis. And occasionally turning left.

Come to think about it, Batman only ever turns left, which inevitably means he's just driven around the block a few times, ending up one door away from where he started. Probably could have walked, mate.

How could the Batmobile be in a fighting game? Images of some Daytona Hornet-style boxing-wheeled monstrosity come to mind, but - fortunately - the reality is much more sensible. Batman has a Batmobile Takedown.

It's actually very much like the Batmobile-assisted combat takedown in Arkham City, only instead of firing a non-lethal round during a combo, Batman just tells the Batmobile to run down his opponent. Luckily, they go up over the bonnet, otherwise we might have had another '' situation.

This is ADORABLE. Look at the cute little low-poly Batmobile. It even has to drive around wire mesh fences. The game is a free-roaming chase-'em-up in the style of the animated series The New Batman Adventures, and actually looks pretty decent for a PSone game. I could try and argue that this sort of thing suggests that a 3D GTA could have worked on PSone, but there's no point opening that can of worms now. The worms are long dead.

Still, wonky graphics aside, this doesn't look too bad. Well, except for the AI's problem with passing other cars. And the sudden, inexorable loading screens. And the lack of variety. Or speed. Or any sense of actually being Batman. Apart from that, it's marvelous. Or, should I say, DCicious? No, I didn't think so, either.

How brilliant this is and yet how massively disappointing. Lego Batman 3 features Lego-ised versions of all your favourite Batmobiles, which is fan-pleasing-tastic. They're playable too, which should be cause for bat-celebration. What a shame they're so utterly, utterly rubbish to use.

The handling is abysmal. It's almost as though these are small, plastic vehicles with no suspension. Funny, that. And as for the sickly green, sparsely-populated free-roam area you can use to take them for a test drive? It's actually pretty close to what I imagine Hell to be like. I know some people like it, but then some people also like listening to Morrissey and I can't understand that, either. I wonder if there's a venn diagram to be made there.

Another Batman game on Mega-CD? Which came out after Batman Returns and is solely about the Batmobile? Surely this should be a bat-win in every way? Well… not really. It isn't as good as Batman Returns. Similar third-person, into-the screen Batmobile shenanigans, yes, but the scaling is merely 'smooth', as opposed to 'rampant'. That sort of thing makes a big difference, you know. Not as sexy.

Perhaps the strangest scenario you find yourself in during the game is traveling through a bumper car assault course that Joker has set up for you. The track is lined with twisted versions of giraffes, hippos and zebra… and you can blow them up. They are animatronic, but they raise their necks when you approach like actual animals reacting to your approach, so it's a bit like you're blowing up real ones. It's all got a bit weird in here.

When you've got all the power of the 128-bit generation at your disposal, the Batmobile should be able to drive through a small fence. But alas, this Batmobile can only drive on the roads, crashing into enemy vehicles and somehow also crashing into giant translucent chevrons which block off streets you shouldn't drive down. I don't even…

It's quite funny to see the on-board Bat-computer displaying a wireframe representation of every vehicle you smash to smithereens, along with a confirmation of 'no casualties'. It's a little hard to believe when you've hit every car on the road in a thunderous mobile tank, flipping sedans and utility vehicles like they're cardboard boxes, burning, crushing and maiming anyone unfortunate to be in your way. But sure, if the bat-computer says no casualties, let's go with that.

What is it with the Batmobile and corners? Even though this is a fully polygonal 3D city environment, when it's time to turn a corner, the camera cuts away to show the Batmobile screeching around the 90-degree bend. It's kinda cool the first time it happens, if a little jarring, but when you realise it happens every single time, it gets a bit much.

The reason for this odd cornering is that you're not really controlling the Batmobile 'properly' at all. You're just steering left and right on a fixed camera trajectory, a bit like OutRun. Or should I say… BatRun? If only it had Magical Bat Shower or Bat Wave on the radio. Or Passing Bat-Breeze. Yeah, you don't wanna get a whiff of that.